Trying to Teach

Updates about my attempts to have more learning time with the boys:

Today is the third day and I think these two days have gone pretty well : )

On Tuesday afternoon, the boys woke up at 4.30pm, and we read many books together for more than an hour! No, I don't force them to read books... they are free to go off to play with their toys or run around anytime they want to. But they chose to stay for the books. I guess I am quite a good storyteller after all! : )

Yesterday morning, I brought them to the playground downstairs. Things didn't really go as planned though, oops. Wanted to leave the house by 8am but we only managed to go down at 8.15am. Because Jiale didn't want to go to the playground! He said he wanted to play with his trains instead : ( Oh dear oh dear, is it because we haven't gone to the playground for too long? Or is it because our routines etc have somehow made him into a homebody? After some coaxing, finally got him to go downstairs willingly - told him he could let his cars go down the slides :P

The boys had fun playing... for a while.. Less than an hour later, Jiale said he wanted to go home..... : / Haii, I rushed and rushed to get them fed and ready to go to playground, planning to stay outdoors for about two hours until it got too hot... But but but... we have our plans and they have their own plans.....

So we went back upstairs and luckily, it was another good day for books : ) So we read and read until it was time for lunch, and then we continued reading after their nap, with a few pockets of train play (what else?) in between.

Today I decided it was time for more of the great outdoors. So we got a ride from Daddy to East Coast Park early in the morning. After breakfast at McDonalds, we began our Long March to Polliwogs. (Need some indoor playground time cos it would be too hot outside by 10am+) The walk took longer than I expected, good thing Jiale was very well-behaved (as usual!) and never once complained about being tired or hot.. though he did ask quite a few times 'playground where?' and commented 'playground 不晒, here 晒'. Didi also exceeded my expectations by walking for 40 minutes! :D When we reached Polliwogs, the not-tired (???!!) boys went crazy and zoomed around in the playground for 3 hours! I felt tired just looking at them!

All in all, I am feeling much better about what we are doing together. Seems that we are at least spending our time together more constructively. I don't have any ambitious plans for now, just hope to really spend time being present, being with them. Other than the first 3-4 months of my pregnancy when I was feeling so crappy and bone-tired, there was no good reason why each day seemed to be just passing us by. Now, I am more motivated and more disciplined - it's more stressful cos I have to be more organized and more 'on-task' but it's not too difficult. Mainly, I think it's the feeling of not having much time left... only about 3 more months before Meimei arrives and my days will be thrown into a frenzy again.... So I really need to make good use of this time! Who knows when I will be able to really spend time with the boys after Meimei's arrival!


[From experience, the first two months are really crazy. Then it will be another 16 months before things really become much more relaxing.. like now! hee hee. But I really don't want to be 'neglecting the boys for 18 months!!]

New Self-care Habits

Ever since my skincare reawakening, I have managed to cultivate a few good habits!

For going out:
Spf lip balm. And I do remember to reapply! : )
Sunblock on hands.
[I tried a hand cream with spf, but there were limited choices. I bought one from Etude House in the end, but the fragrance was too overwhelming. Don't like. Clarins also has a hand cream which comes with spf, but it's freakingly expensive ($40!!) and somehow I just don't like Clarins packaging.]

Before bed:
Lip balm (no spf). I apply a liberal amount for overnight moisturisation.

Cuticle cream/oil on fingernails & toenails.
Hand moisturiser followed by gloves.
Foot moisturiser followed by socks.
Body moisturiser.

Body whitening serum after bath at night.

Spf body moisturiser after bath in the morning.

Skincare
I have always applied quite a few products after washing my face in the morning and at night, so it was easy to just continue this routine. (cleanser, toner, moisturiser, sunscreen in the morning - been doing this without fail everyday for at least 12 years). But now I put more thought into which products to use - e.g. I try to keep to just one or two brands/ranges instead of mix & match, and have added a few more treatment products.

[Personally I believe this will provide better 'coverage' cos the brand would have tried to 'cover' every 'need' within the range. But Brand A might have included more 'clarifying' in its toner, while Brand B might have done so for its cleanser. Something like that la. So by keeping to 1-2 ranges, there would be less repetition or 'loopholes'. I have also read that as different brands use different chemicals &/or preservatives, you will expose your skin to more types of chemicals &/or preservatives the more you mix & match.

Another reason why I limit the number of brands I buy from - it's easier to collect points! Then I get to redeem freebies! From my experience at Laneige counter, I realise it's also good to be on familiar and friendly terms with the counter girl.. even more freebies! Oh ya, it also reduces my tendency to anyhow buy.. For instance when I read magazines, I sorta skip over the recommended products from other brands. Right now I am using mainly Laneige and Kiehls - Laneige for the basic skincare because they are reasonably priced for a beauty counter brand, and Kiehls because of positive feedback from friends & online reviews and because Laneige doesn't have 'high tech' treatment stuff.]

Anywayz. It might look like I am applying a lot of things at bedtime. But it's actually not difficult once I got into the habit. And it takes no more than 10 minutes. And I am feeling happier because of the love & care I am showing myself! : )

No Time to Teach

I need to re-convince myself why I am keeping the boys at home with me instead of sending them off to school. Especially Jiale who is already the grand old age of 3 years old ('huh, still haven't gone to school ah?'). Oh wait. Make that especially Didi who is giving me headaches and back aches and muscle strains. Jiale is just such a cheerful and independent and sensible boy.... oops I digress.

On a typical day, I hardly get any time to sit down with the boys and play with them or read to them. Mornings are spent in a blur - make them their milk, change their diapers, feed them breakfast, feed them fruits, feed them snacks, feed them feed them feed them (they seem to be constantly asking for snacks when we are at home!), bathe them, change diapers clean poo again... Oh ya and I need to shower and eat breakfast myself too. And I usually vacuum the house too, cos can't vacuum while the boys are sleeping. By then, it's almost time to prepare their lunch! Soon after lunch, it's time for their nap! Goodbye sons! 

[Jiale gets constipated very easily and he's a very selective eater, so it's my priority to chase after him to eat fruits &/or prunes every morning. Didi poos an average of 3x a day. When Jiale gets constipated, he poos very often, but only a tiny pellet at a time.. but because the poo hasn't finished coming out, it's a dirty diaper almost all the time.. so I keep wiping and changing.. wiping and changing...]

It's not that I have no time.. I have so much free time in the afternoons... But not with them.. I am zuobo-ing alone... It seems that while they are up and about, there are so many mundane chores to be done! Some days, I really clean poo until I am soooooo tired... : ( I tried to spend time with them in the evenings, but seriously, even if they nap till 5pm+, they can't tahan much later than 8pm. By 7pm+, they will be rubbing their eyes and getting cranky (probably because they wake up early around 6.30am). Which means, it's dinner at about 6pm, drink milk, bathe. By then it's about 7.30pm. Time for bedtime stories.. then it's off to bed again! Goodnight sons!

This morning, I decided to try very very hard to sit down with them. But Didi was very uncooperative and unreasonable - kept wanting to be carried. He really has the stamina to keep crying until I am free to carry him lor. Argh. Anyway, I managed to sit down with them at 9am. Was so happy it was so early! (Actually, I forgot about fruits this morning, but I only remembered that much later.) BUT within 5 minutes, Jiale asked to play with sand instead! (Cos we were reading a book about trucks.. and he saw the dump trucks carrying sand.. what to do..) I got very flustered and told him cannot, we read books instead.. so of course he flew into a tantrum... In the end I managed to get him to wait till 10am for sandplay.. but there went a few precious minutes of reading.

[Frankly, I felt quite devastated when he chose sand over reading, after all the rushing I did to make sure I had time to read to them.]

The good thing was, by 10am he had forgotten about wanting to play sand, so I got to keep reading to them! Hee hee.. He remembered about 10.30am, which was also good, cos I was losing my voice by then. They went off to play with sand.. then gotta bathe them.... then gotta clean the floor cos it was sandy.... then gotta prepare their lunch liao.... They are asleep now, hopefully we will have more time to play and read together later.

So, despite having a whole day together, we don't get much time to do much seat work. Don't even wanna imagine attempting to do more 'serious' stuff like activity books. Don't even dare to think about how to do this after Meimei is here. I guess for now, I have to make a conscious effort to do this everyday - though it is stressful for me - rush rush rush and keep having to think about 'sit down with them sit down with them'.

The pros? Hmmm........................

Even if we aren't doing much structured 'learning', at least they get to see their mummy? A lot a lot a lot.. haha.

It's good for them to see their mummy doing housework right?

And if all else fails, at least the brothers get to spend time with each other? A lot a lot a lot.. make that 24 hours 7 days a week now that they even sleep together, ha! Seriously though, I do see them becoming closer since they started sharing a room : )

OK, I shall just JIA YOU for now!

i-Kare Confinement Agency (Bliss) - NOT recommended!

I am totally not impressed with this confinement agency.

For my first child, I used a freelance confinement nanny who was recommended by a friend. I wasn't very comfortable with her, but looking back, I think it was because I was a first-time mummy and preferred to do everything myself. Probably there was nothing wrong with the nanny la, given that my friend had used her for all her three children!

For my second child, I decided to try out i-Kare. Can't remember why I chose them, probably just a random choice based on online reviews. The nanny who was allocated to me was ok la. I felt that she was a bit lazy... my hubby and mother-in-law didn't like her very much either... But I felt she really did care for the baby and she liked children, so ok la.

Then another mummy who engaged i-Kare had some problems with them. Can't remember the details, but it was something like the nanny came late and the agency did not compensate or even apologise or something like that.

Now that I am having my third child soon, I decided to use back the same agency and the same nanny. Only because I would rather go for someone familiar - she might not be very good but at least I know she is not terrible or too jia lat. Especially now that I am a seasoned mummy (ahem), I think I will be more hands-off and sui bian. And of course, more assertive and clearer about what I expect, so I shall have no qualms informing the nanny what/how to do.

But it has not been a very pleasant experience thus far. I contacted the liaison person May when I was about 17 weeks pregnant. She said she would contact me when I was 20 weeks. But by 21 weeks, there was no news from her. I texted her and there was a lot of ding ding dong dong till today, she finally came to my place for me to sign the contract - at 25 weeks. Being a very time-conscious person, I did not like it when she failed to confirm our appointments and I had to chase after her.

Then, the best part. I told her at our very first contact that I wanted the same nanny and she said ok. When I contacted her again at 21 weeks, I asked her whether she had remembered to reserve the same nanny for me and she said yes. But when she finally turned up today, she told me this nanny might not be able to make it..!! What the..?! Of course I never expected the nanny to be always free and waiting for me la, but this May had promised me twice!

I am so not looking forward to my confinement now. I am confident that I can cope pretty well, as I plan to take care of the two older boys myself anyway, and the baby will probably be spending a lot of time with me since I will be exclusively breastfeeding, and I think any confinement nanny should be able to cook my meals and bathe the baby. But I dread having to interact with the liaison person and potentially have unpleasant encounters if I do need to replace the nanny. Blah.

Only Questions, No Answers

A few mind-boggling questions which I was unable to find any satisfactory answers online!

1) What is the difference between an essence (e.g. SK II Facial Treatment Essence) vs a serum?

2) Can we use more than one esssence or more than one serum at a time?

No doubt the answers will pop up when I give up. Argh.

Lingzhi and Elbows

It's about two separate things :p

Firstly I tried the Lingzhi eye masks from Watsons last night. Because it's also on offer of course. But!! I don't like it because of the smell. I have no idea what lingzhi is supposed to smell like, but this mask doesn't smell nice. Won't be buying again.

Secondly, I also tried the elbow mask from Étude House. Because I was amused there was even such a thing so just bought one piece for fun. And it turned out to be quite good! It comes with a cream and 2 elbow patches. Supposed to massage the cream onto elbows then put the patches on for about 20 minutes.

There was a lot of cream, so I also used it on my knees and hands :p It felt like a cream at first but subsequently it became more like an oil! Which I like : )

The patches were also a pleasant surprise. When I took them out from the packaging, I didn't realise they were adhesive. It was only when I wanted to remove them from my elbows that I realised they were gently 'glued'. Really very gentle, cos it was very easy to 'peel' them off. I would say it's just the right amount of adhesive. I will buy this again if I am in a shopping mood and happen to walk past Étude House : )

And oh, my elbows did feel smoother after!

Cooking Oil for Beauty!

Yes this is normal olive oil which I bought at a supermarket. It's not even extra virgin, though the blog where I got this idea recommended EVOO :p But considering the price difference, and that I only intend to use it on my hands and feet (and err, cooking), I think normal one will do lah. See, Hubby, I am thrifty sometimes too ok.

I did as the blog suggested and wore disposable gloves after pouring a generous amount of oil on my hands. In addition I also applied on my feet and wore thick socks to prevent dirtying the floor. (Really thick socks, I bought them for my Mt Kinabalu trek to prevent blisters.) I thought I got this idea from the same blog, but I couldn't find the post anymore now.

After 30 minutes, my hands and feet were super oily :p I did not do any massage as I just wanted to clean the oil off so that I could carry doing whatever I was doing. Bar soap did not work, but surprisingly the hand soap did quite a good job.

Did my hands and feet feel smoother after that? Hmm, actually I couldn't feel much difference. (But hey the other blog author said she felt a big difference! Or maybe EVOO will really be more effective??) Oh ya, actually I tried this with my Palmer's body oil earlier, but I guess it was too 'fine' to do much. Though it felt very oily, I could feel the difference when I applied the olive oil - so much thicker. (The Palmer's oil has worked well for my arms and legs, but I guess my hands and feet are too jia lat.)

Anyway, for any method or product, I believe that it will only give results after long-term usage. I don't expect miracles. Furthermore everybody has different foundations to start with, so I am just sharing my 'technical' experiences and who knows, it might work better for you! : )

I am very happy that this is my second cheapo skincare post of the day... and even happier that I have tried two cheapo skincare methods within such a short time! : )

My Cheapo Mask!

I bought this from Watsons as I was attracted by the price. Usually I would buy established skincare brands like Neutrogena or L'oreal if I wanted to save money, and at the original price of $15 for six pieces of Watsons brand masks, I wouldn't think it was worthwhile. But at $5 per box, it seemed a steal!

Tried it last night, and I like it! It's stated on the packaging that each sheet comes with 30ml of essence, and indeed the mask was very wet. When I saw the mask, I was already quite happy that it came with the part for the eyes as well. It's foldable, so you can choose to fold it down if you prefer to spend the 20 minutes doing something else. I usually do that cos most masks only have holes where the eyes are, but since this was a rare treat for my eyes, I just closed my eyes and rested for 20 minutes : )

When it was time to remove the mask, I was again pleasantly surprised. Unlike other masks which I had tried, this was no longer dripping by the time I removed it. Which means that the essence had been absorbed by my face right? : ) By the way, if you have a habit of leaving sheet masks on your face for longer than the recommended duration, I read that the essence would end up being re-absorbed by the sheet... So do keep to the recommended duration!

I had intended to put the sheet mask on my neck after removing from my face. But it was too dry to stay put by then. So I just poured out the remaining essence from the packaging and massaged onto my face and neck. Don't forget to take good care of your neck too!

[The other new mask which I tried recently was the Laneige Water Bank Double Moisture Mask. It was very wet too, but it was still wet when I removed it. I massaged the liquid into my face but the next morning, my face felt rather 'caked', as if the essence had remained on the surface of my skin.]

I also bought a few other boxes of different masks from Watsons, either $5 per box or even just $2! But I would not review each individually here, unless they are exceptionally good or bad :p 

Skincare Essentials

Is this going to become a beauty blog? Definitely not! I am no expert and have no expertise to share, and my complexion is not so fantastic that people want to know my 'secrets'. But since I am reading more on this topic, I would like to share what I learn with my friends and especially my sister (because sis, skincare is really more important than makeup!). Ultimately I am still just a housewife with limited budget, no sponsored items, no freebies. Can't compare to those bloggers out there who look so pretty and seem to have unlimited finances/sponsorship to be able to review so many items and/or attend so many workshops. And of course, I will still be blogging about my life as a SAHM with two young children (soon-to-be-three) and my complaints about them :P I would be really keen to read other mummies' blogs if you come across any who also talk about skincare. Please let me know!

Let me list the items which I think every woman should own (and use!!):

Facial cleanser (actually, I think need two cleansers for double cleansing purpose)
Facial toner
Facial moisturiser (unless you have very dry skin, you probably need another richer moisturiser for the neck too)
Facial sunscreen
Exfoliator/scrub
Face mask
Eye cream
Eye mask
Sunscreen for eyes if the facial sunscreen is not suitable for use in eye area
Body scrub (I assume everyone has a soap thingy for cleaning purpose la. This list is for the 'extras')
Body moisturiser
Body sunscreen (if your body moisturiser doesn't come with spf. But if it does, then need another one without spf for night use)
Foot scrub (unless your body scrub is strong enough to tackle the thick skin on feet)
Foot moisturiser (same as above)
Hand moisturiser with spf for day use
Hand moisturiser without spf for night use
Lip balm (same, one with spf and one without)

OK, fellow comrades, have I left out anything? (help me educate my sister)

Actually, I have already left out all the things for nail care and hair care. No special reason, only because I am not bothered about them at the moment, and if I start thinking about them, I will go mad.

Other items which I also like very much but did not include in the Essentials:
Lip scrub (but I use my facial scrub on lips if I am doing facial scrub that day)
Oils (I have a face oil and a body oil. And I also use cooking oil for beauty purposes!)
Hand gloves and feet gloves (to be worn after applying moisturiser)
Facial essence (to be used on neck as well)
Foot file/ Pumice

But then, this doesn't cater to every skin type. For example, pimple cream is not an essential for me cos I hardly get any pimples. And some women are probably very concerned about lip care &/or haircare. I just finished reading Big S's beauty book and she is fanatic about whitening lor. To each her own la. But sis, please go and buy all the abovementioned items! Especially the sunscreen! If not, you just have to use whatever I give you ok!

Bored To Death

I know I know, busy also wanna complain, now too free also wanna complain! Forgive me, let me vent on my blog please.

Without the burden/task/responsibility of reading parenting books nowadays, I really have a lot of free time on my hands. This has got 'worse' since I moved the boys into the same bedroom last week. Previous routine: Didi went for his nap at 1pm, fell asleep shortly after, and woke up about two hours later. Jiale went in for nap around 2pm, took up to two hours to fall asleep, and woke up about two hours later. This meant that I only had about 1-2 hours when I was really free, when both boys were asleep. When one or both of the boys were awake, I would not read books or use the laptop anymore.

Current routine: Both boys go into the room around 1pm. They play and toss & turn for very long. (It has been 2 hours 20 min for today, and at least one of them is still awake from what I see on the video monitor.) Then it will be another 1.5 hours minimum before they wake up (unless there's loud thunderstorm or I am very suay la). That means I am free and alone from 1pm until around 5.30pm!! The whole afternoon I ZUO BO!

I told myself to limit to one blog post a day, so that I wouldn't spend too much time on the laptop and end up too tired to play with the boys. But now, my problem is too BORED instead of too TIRED. Since I don't have books to read at night and hubby usually uses the laptop to play games when he is home, I have nothing to do at night. Now we have all the HK drama and English movie channels but I am not the type to get hooked on TV or games easily. So I usually end up sleeping early at night (before 11pm). So I don't even dare to (and truthfully, don't really need to) take naps in the daytime in case I can't fall asleep at night.

[By this point, I guess many people, especially working mothers, wanna beat me up liao. I feel you ok. Once upon a time I also felt so busy and tired that I wondered how on earth people found time and energy to do xyz. Now I am so free that I wonder what on earth people are so busy with.]

So how have I been occupying myself? Everyday I think about what self-care treatments I can do during bathtimes. Have been doing body scrubs and oil cleansing at least every alternate day, some facial pampering like exfoliation/masks on alternate days, slathering on body oil & moisturiser and massaging into the drier areas like knees after the shower, etc.. Even during my (long) afternoon breaks, I apply oil on my hands & feet (while wearing gloves & thick socks), eat some fruits.. just to pass time.. Not that I am obssessed over skincare now.. it's that I am really too bored.. Of course I can do constructive things like polish the floors or spring-clean every corner of my house, but I don't want to tax myself physically either. This is not called lazy hor, it's called motherly protecting of my baby :p

I suddenly realised that perhaps it's not totally because I stopped poring over parenting books. Maybe the boys are just older and more independent now, plus they have each other for company, and thus I am more relaxed? And of course reaping the rewards of the sleep training! See, this is the reason why I want to have my children close in age.. suffer like crazy first then can quickly enjoy! (as opposed to spreading out the suffering over a longer period. In the end, it still adds up to the same amount of suffering la. No escaping. Might as well get it over.) Didn't get to enjoy any break previously as the age gap was only 18 months. Now I get to enjoy a few months of relative leisure as the third child is almost two years younger than the second. The madness will resume by April (EDD is 2 April), but I can look forward to a prolonged break when Baby is 18 months old! : )

Why I Don't Want A Maid

Many people have expressed amazement that I intend to take care of three young children including a newborn by myself. Actually, I think that the worst is while I am pregnant.. The baby inside is so vulnerable... I can't even see her to know whether she is ok.. Unlike the two older boys, I can take their temperature or ask them how they are feeling or just observe their appetites or whether they are sick and cranky.

But no point engaging a domestic helper just for these few months right? The thing is, I don't think I want the helper to do anything that is directly related to the care of the children anyway, such as bathing them, feeding them, playing with them, or even wiping their poo. Even when I was very very stressed (like when Didi refused to nap), I didn't like the idea of a helper taking over though I did try to visualize it. The only thing I can think of that I would like someone to help with is the cooking, cos I am really a lousy cook. Even the washing is not too bad, as I currently have a part-time cleaner who comes for a few hours once a week.

Neither will I leave the children alone with the helper and go out alone. Must keep an eye on her all the time! I am traumatized by news reports of domestic helpers abusing the children.. : ( Bo bian la, if I am a full-time working mother.. But since I do have a choice, I would rather not.

In addition, I believe that the children will grow up to be more sensible when they see their mummy slogging her guts out. At the very least they will not expect someone else (i.e. helper) to help them do housework.

[On the other hand, I think it will be good for my sons' future marital happiness to grow up seeing their mummy shaking leg and relaxing at home. Then they will have a realistic idea of what to expect from their wives - i.e. engage a maid for her and let her shake leg & relax at home. Otherwise they might think all wives are supposed to slog. Gosh. My poor daughters-in-law!]

So, it's just to have someone to help with the cooking. Yet my family and I will have to put up with the inconvenience of having an outsider around ALL the time. My house is not big enough to accomodate an outsider. Not to mention the extra financial burden. Much happier to have just our nuclear family : )

So if I can cope during the nine months of pregnancy, I am quite sure I will be able to manage when the baby is born (when I have my own body back!). Just four more months to go!

Skincare Revival

Now that I have more time (so much..!!) on my hands, I have been spending more time on skincare. For the past three years, I had been only doing the minimal, i.e. cleanse, tone, moisturise, sunblock, with a few essences, pore minimiser etc thrown in. I did buy masks but hardly used them (busy... and also lazy la). Due to limited finances, I was mostly using cheaper brands found in Watsons. And it was really anyhow buy - I did not bother to read magazines as I knew I would not be able to buy most of the products recommended. So I just chose whichever was on offer :p All in all, I was just on 'auto-pilot' without thinking much about the care of my complexion.

Recently, partly because I have stopped reading parenting books, and probably also because I have been spending more time chatting with a group of girlfriends, I started paying more attention to skincare again. Now, I can't complain I have no time for masks etc! Have been spending the afternoons googling on this topic during the boys' nap and I have learnt a lot! The best part is, it's not just about buying expensive products, there are many things that I can DIY at home, and many things which are just a matter of inculcating good habits. So what are the new things I have incorporated into my face & body care?

1. Started on a new brand of skincare products and am now committed to sticking to the range, instead of hapzardly combining products from different brands. I am now using Laneige after my friends recommended its award-winning bestseller Water Sleeping Pack. Actually, most of the other items are not award-winning or especially recommended or anything. But I think it's easier on my brain to just focus on one brand - hopefully the products complement one another. In addition, I have realised it's also easier on the pocket cos I will not be as tempted to buy a product from another brand (that eliminates A LOT!). It's also good to collect points which can be used to redeem products. Fortunately, it is not too expensive a brand.

[read this for more info about mixing & matching skincare products]

2. Using oil! Yes you read it right, I am putting more oil on my oily face! Happened to come across this skincare method online, and a girlfriend also mentioned that the skin produces more oil because it is actually dehydrated. In that case, what better moisturiser than an oil?? So now I apply oil both on my face and my body (different types of oil, but the oils can be used on both. Just that I don't dare to apply cheap oil (Palmer) on my face and I don't want to waste expensive oil (Clarins) on my body). It's too early to tell whether the results are good, but I tell myself even if it doesn't solve my current problems of big pores and oily complexion, it is surely good for the future, i.e. prevention of wrinkles!

[read this on how to prevent oil stains on bedsheet]

3. DIY facial masks and body treatments. Since I have a lot of time but little money, this is good! Can use things like yogurt, oats, honey, lemon, milk, sugar, etc! I am thankful I have elephant thick skin and my skin is not sensitive and doesn't get irritated easily, neither do I get breakouts due to new products, so I can be adventurous and try new things : )

4. More of the basic stuff. Been doing more body scrubs, more face exfoliation and masks, more body moisturisers, started applying sunblock on upper body daily etc. My current body scrub is more than 3 years old! Obviously I wasn't using it much :p

5. Eating more fruits & yogurt. Used to be too busy and tired (ok ok, lazy) to even cut fruits for myself, but now I am not too busy to eat a kiwi or two everyday : )

6. Two simple things of using a separate towel to dry my face instead of one towel for face and body, and washing my hair before washing face.. [find out why here and here]

7. Double cleansing for face every night, because I use sunscreen on my face even if I am not going out and do not have makeup on. [learn more here]

8. Sleep early (by 11pm) every night! (oops I am late today!) [click here for more info]

Things I hope to do soon:
Learn how to do eye makeup.
Use hand cream & lip balm regularly during the day.
Apply body moisturiser & sunblock to legs every morning.

My friends mentioned in a different context that they felt I would be able to do anything I set my mind to. It was just a passing remark, but somehow it stuck in my mind and I have been thinking about it quite a lot. I guess it's quite true - I had encountered many uncertain situations before in my 32 years, and somehow I managed to conquer all - attaining the results I wanted in exams, marrying the husband I wanted, completing marathons, coping with the care of two young children as a stay-at-home-mum... There are also things in the future which I KNOW I will be able to achieve, such as improving my marathon timings and losing weight after my final pregnancy! So, why not skincare and makeup? I believe that as long as I resolve to do it and spend enough effort & time on it, I WILL be able to succeed! For skincare - I shall read and read, devote the same amount of focus and diligence as I did to parenting books for the past 3 years. For makeup - I shall read & consult & learn, and more importantly, not be afraid to try and experiment. So what if I fail and embarrass myself? I should have done this when I was younger, but better late than never, right? At the very least, I am learning new things and having fun! : )

P.S. All the links above (except Laneige) go to the same local beauty blog which I have been reading diligently. I like this blog because it has a lot of information and not just reviews of products. Please do let me know if you have other good beauty blogs to recommend! Thanks in advance!

Fifty Shades of Grey

Have you heard of this book? It's one of the books which I have enjoyed since my liberation. (and the Twilight trilogy too!)

According to Wikipedia,

Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James. Set largely in Seattle,  it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM).
The second and third volumes are titled Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, respectively. Fifty Shades of Grey has topped best-seller lists around the world, including the United Kingdom and the United States. The series has sold over 60 million copies worldwide, with book rights having been sold in 37 countries, and set the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time, surpassing the Harry Potter series. Critical reception of the novel has been mixed.

While I am not adverse to the parts about sex or BDSM, they are definitely not the main reason why I like the book so much. I like the book because it is really very well written! To me, it is just a romance story.. and when I finished the first book, I immediately wanted to read the second book! Yep, I have already finished all three books : ) A very simple summary - the first book is a sad romance, the second a happy romance, and the third! A good mix of mystery, romance, thriller! The author is good. I am impressed that these are her first books. I shall be waiting eagerly for her new book - whether it is a similar theme or something very different, I am confident that she will not disappoint! 

No More Parenting Books!

Since Jiale was born, I had been reading parenting books relentlessly.. from how to make him sleep through the night to what to feed him, and then as he grew older, how to help him learn etc. But it was really never-ending - there are too many such books out there, and too many different opinions about what the right way is.

Finally, I have decided to give up. Stopped reading parenting books a few weeks ago, and wow! I have so much free time now! I have been able to read books for leisure, sleep early, spend more time on doing facial masks and body scrubs, and more time googling anything that captures my interest. I feel liberated. I feel FREE and FREED. No doubt it's good to read parenting books for the benefit of my children, but I think I have read enough these past three years. Enough. Stop. No more. (though I don't doubt I will be referring back to those books when meimei arrives :p)

I had never thought reading parenting books was bad in any way. OK, not really bad la... just bad for my development as a person.. a woman.. a wife.. It's probably only good for me as a parent :p

Anyway I am happier now!

Roseola Scare

(No, it doesn't mean the boys do NOT have roseola.)

Didi has been down with cough and running nose for more than a week. Yesterday he started having a fever as well. The Braun thermometer has been spoilt for some time and I have not replaced it. Hubby was is overseas for work and I needed a thermometer desperately in case Didi's fever got worse during the night. So, I just grabbed the boys after their afternoon nap and rushed to Parkway Parade (in a cab of course. I ain't no Superwoman, no matter how much my hubby would like me to save the cab money.) Temperature went up to 39 C at bedtime.

Fortunately Didi managed to sleep through from 7pm to 5am. At 5am, his temperature was 38.2 C. Fed him fever medicine, milk and water, and miraculously he lay down again and fell asleep for another hour. When he woke up, his fever had gone down to 37+ C. Not too bad, I thought.

Wrong. A couple of hours later I noticed some mild rashes on his tummy and a little bit on his chin. Urmm, then after the shower (which was why I undressed him), I forgot about the rashes. Oops. When I remembered them again, I sent the photo a few mummy friends (real-life friends, ex-colleagues ok) and started to google for more information. Hmm, seems to be roseola (high fever followed by rashes when the fever subsided is the main symptom). What I read put me at ease quite fast, as it seemed that the dangerous part was the high fever, which Didi seemed to have passed. Then it suddenly struck me - was it contagious? Would it affect the baby inside me???? At that moment, a cold fist clenched round my heart....

[Actually, would it have made a difference if I had gone to the PD yesterday? Without the rashes, it was unlikely there would be a diagnosis of roseola. Anyway, even now it's just my own layman 'diagnosis'.]

Couldn't find any conclusive answers online. Apparently roseola does have the potential to cause miscarriages in early pregnancy and birth defects in later pregnancy. But what I read also indicated that most women have already been exposed to roseola before and thus are immune, which means the fetus is protected as well. (In fact, even newborns still have this immunity, but it goes away as they get older. Cool, right?) I then hurriedly called my gynae's emergency number and explained the situation to the person who answered the call. The 20+ minutes before my gynae returned my call was very scary.. I couldn't stop crying and thought I would lose this baby.. (It sure didn't help that the two boys were their usual monkey selves and Didi was refusing to take his medication and making a mess at lunch etc etc.)

Very very relieved when my gynae assured me that it was ok and the baby would be alright. Then.. just continue with the rest of the day lor.... luckily it was just a scare... PHEW!

Why I Re-installed My FB App

Gosh my last post was on 6 Sep! Actually that's more recent than I thought.. seems like a looooooong time since I came here at all.

I have re-installed my Facebook app on my iPhone because I have decluttered my FB! Yay! I un-friended everyone who is not an ex-classmate or ex-colleague or neighbor or family etc, i.e. everyone whom I do not really know in real life. Granted, I had been chatting with some of these 'un-real friends' far more than with most of these ex-colleagues or ex-classmates, but I decided that it was more meaningful to stay in touch with 'real people'.

One of my main motivations was wanting to cut down on the time I spent on FB so that I could spend more quality time with my children. I tried limiting my usage but I failed to do so.. too often sneaking peeks at my phone when I should be concentrating on the boys instead. And everytime I did so, I was 'rewarded' with many new posts and notifications and comments etc... Talk about positive reinforcement! Of course I had the choice to not read them till I was free.. but it was so difficult to resist...

By drastically reducing my Friends, I can still post as often as I like, but there are now fewer comments. And each time I check FB, there are hardly any new posts. Thus I spend less time on FB, even if I still check as frequently as before. At the same time, because of less 'reinforcement', it has become natural for me to check less often nowadays. Goal achieved!

Not that I don't like my friends to comment on my posts, it's just more meaningful when it's my real friends commenting! There are of course disadvantages too - most of the people I unfriended were mummy-friends whom I got to 'know' in mummy forums etc, many of whom are more experienced parents than I am, so I no longer get to see the interesting activities they do with their kids, or their valuable mummy insights etc. Hmm, but gain some, lose some la.

There was in fact a trigger which prompted me to take this 'drastic' action. One fine day, I was chatting in a FB group when I felt I was being personally attacked. Well, the other mummy wrote my name in her post lor, so it wasn't my illusion. I felt so sick and tired of chatting with such people. Why was I wasting my time & energy hanging around such people? At that time, I just wanted to get her (and some others) out of my life. If she wanted to stick to her old ways of doing things, I wouldn't be the one suffering. Not my problem, not my business, don't even wanna waste time/energy reading whatever she wanted to say. BLAH. Get lost lor.

Anyway, two months down the road, I am definitely happier. Less time spent on FB, more quality time with my precious babies, less time on the computer in general, more napping time. Oh ya, since frequent FB checks is no longer an issue, it is much more convenient to use the app :p

Cognitive Dissonance

Definition by Wikipedia
"Cognitive dissonance is the term used in modern psychology to describe the discomfort felt by a person seeking to hold two or more conflicting cognitions (e.g., ideas, beliefts, values, emotional) simultaneously. In a state of dissonance, people may feel surprise, dread, guilt, anger, or embarrassment. The theory of cognitive dissonance in social psychology proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by altering existing cognitions, adding new ones to create a consistent belief system, or alternatively by reducing the importance of any one of the dissonant elements. An example of this would be the conflict between wanting to smoke and knowing that smoking is unhealthy; a person may try to change their feelings about the odds that they will actually suffer the consequences, or they might add the consonant element that the short term benefits of smoking outweigh the long term harm. The need to avoid cognitive dissonance may bias one towards a certain decision even though other factors favour an alternative."

Recently I have read &/or participated in a few online discussions about homeschooling vs preschools, play vs academics, or some variation or another, etc. Realised that most people, myself included, already have an opinion, and would usually comment accordingly. Which is not wrong lah I think, just that... then what's the use of such debates? :p Now, I would rather not go into an argument with anyone regarding OPINIONS, since we are all entitled to our own viewpoints. But hor, since you have stated your opinion in an open discussion, I am entitled to stating my opinion too. Then if you wanna continue to 'shoot' my argument, urmm, I have no choice but to 'shoot' back lah. Not a good habit, but I am just not gonna give in first, you know?

Anyway, it got me wondering - do we think about what's the best thing to do, then do it, and support this way of doing things, OR are we doing things a certain way, then give support to what we are already doing? Using an example close to my heart - homeschooling vs sending to school.

So, I am homeschooling my son. Did I decide on this after considering first whether it is best for my son? Or perhaps, because of circumstances, maybe I can't afford the school fees, or I am too lazy to send him to school and fetch him home, or I can't get a place for him in the one and only (hypothetical) school I like.... etc etc.. None of which takes in consideration what's best for him.

And then, because I am too lazy to do the sending and fetching, I decide to keep him at home. But but but, I can't tell people that's the reason right? In fact, I don't think I can even admit to myself that's the reason! Gasp! Then how?? Bo bian, in order to make myself feel better and to look like a decent mummy to others and to reduce my cognitive dissonance, I have to start telling myself that hey, I am really doing it for the sake of the child! Homeschooling is good, it's best for him, schools are stressful, it's bad for him, a child should play, blah blah blah. Eventually, I have even convinced myself that it's the truth (and conveniently forgot the real reason).

How about the other side of the fence? (Please don't take offence if you are sending your child to school, see above, I already gave myself the worst 'reasons' hor.) Now, let's say if I am sending him to school. Is it because I really think it's best for the child to start school at 2 years old? Or is it because I can't cope with two children with me the whole day, or I can cope but I don't want to takan myself and I want me-time, etc etc..? Neither of which takes into consideration what's best for him.

So, because I want to take things easy, I decide to send him to school everyday. But I can't tell people that's the reason right? Thus, in order to reduce my cognitive dissonance and look better to others, I convince myself and tell others that he's going to school for socialization, to learn through play, spend time with other adults, learn to cope in a group setting, prepare him for primary one, etc etc.. all of which are reasons that are for the child's benefit (whether or not it's true is another issue).

In the same vein as cognitive dissonance, I guess people have a need to justify their actions, to themselves and to others. In this example, I experience cognitive dissonance when I think that a very young child should be allowed to play more, yet because of circumstantial reasons, I send him to school. Thus I reduce the discomfort I feel by changing my existing cognition that play is more important than academics, or by adding a new belief system that he can play in school too, or by reducing the importance of play (still important, but perhaps not really that important). Tata! It becomes I am sending him to school because it is the best for him!

Anyway, this is not a post about the pros and cons of homeschooling vs sending to school. If that's my intention, I would have given more thought to the pros and cons instead of anyhow giving farfetched 'reasons'. I am just trying to illustrate that sometimes, people might be showing support for what they are already doing, instead of doing what they support first.

[Endnote: I agree that if the mummy knows she cannot cope and cannot provide a conducive homeschooling environment for the child, it is probably better for the child to attend school, because a stressed mummy probably means unhappy times for both mummy & child (& most probably daddy as well). And a stressed child can't learn well. (When I say 'learn', I mean child-led learning, not necessarily academic learning or mummy-prepared learning aids etc.)

Ok, to be very truthful, what I can't stand is mummies who send their children to school because she wants to relax, but insists it's for their sake. I think there is no shame in admitting it lor. But then, it is of course possible that some mummies truly deeply believe school is best, and some mummies have already gone through and resolved cognitive dissonance by convincing themselves and truly believing now that school is best. No issue with them :p Only we know what we really feel and think.]

So, am I homeschooling my son because I am too lazy to send him to school every morning? That's for only me to know! *wink*

More Good Reasons to Have the 3rd Kid ASAP

[my previous post on this topic]

Just thought of this today - you know all that talk going on about Singapore's replacement rate.. or rather, non-replacement? It's pretty much on a macro level, i.e. fewer young Singaporeans to support the older generation a couple of decades down the road. That is surely a concern, but unfortunately, not something that I personally can do much about.

BUT I can do something on the micro level! Yes my children will have to pay more taxes like all the other Singaporeans of their generation in order to support people of my generation. Bo bian, no complaints. But at least there will be 3 (or more) of them to share the 'burden' of caring for hubby and me!

If the age gap is big, there might also be additional burden of having to take care of the youngest sibling. My sister is 9 years younger than me, and before she graduated this year, I often thought about having to support her financially before she completed her studies, should anything untowards happen to my parents. I would be very willing to take care of her, but it's definitely something that weighed on my mind, even when I was considering to resign from my job and become income-less. 

Money is just one aspect. Having only one child to care for the aged parents in future, can be justified by the (huge) amounts of savings now, as additional children will of course increase the parents' current expenditure. But what about, for example, taking leave to accompany the parent for medical appointments/physiotherapy/checkups etc? Or when there is no problem, just a routine weekend visit... If the one child is not free to visit, will he/she feel more pressure about neglecting the poor, lonely parents? Hmm, I for one definitely feel like skipping visits to my parents or my in-laws occasionally, and I do not feel much guilt because I know they still have their other children visiting them. Urmm, do you also feel like skipping visits to your in-laws at times? Do you feel guilty if your spouse is an only child? :p

The other reason I can think of for now, is a very important one to me, because of our circumstances, i.e. homeschooling at least for the preschool years. Frankly speaking, I am getting very little done with Jiale now, and I am very lazy. It is impossible to do much with him while Didi is awake, cos Didi is a destroyer and recently, started to be very unreasonable. (At the moment, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Pitch black.) Although by right, I should have quite a lot of time (at least 1-2 hours) to do learning stuff with Jiale after Didi goes for his nap since Didi usually takes quite long naps. But I have two major problems:

Firstly, if I don't send Jiale in to bed at the same time, he might wake Didi up with his whining when I do send him in. If Didi has already napped 1-2 hours then, he might not return to sleep after being awakened. Urmm, the alternative is sending Jiale to nap after Didi wakes up naturally, but there are 3 sub-problems to this: It will be very late by the time Jiale wakes up (Didi naps from 1pm to 3.30pm, Jiale naps from 3.30pm to 5pm) and we can't have any outings. It is more difficult for Jiale to fall asleep when he knows Didi is playing outside, and Didi loves to go and disturb look for him. Most importantly, it means I won't get any sans-kids break at all the whole day! I will die! A dead mummy ain't gonna do no homeschooling.

Secondly, by the time I send Didi in to nap, I am usually exhausted. Thus it is very tempting for me to take advantage of Jiale's superior ability to play independently for very long.. while I just stone. I have definitely given in to this temptation many many times : /

Luckily, I am a believer of play play play for young children. Discussed this with hubby before, and we agree that there is definitely no need to worry or stress the kids before they are at least 5 years old, or maybe even 7 years old. If our plans go well, Jiale will be about 4 years old when the 3rd baby arrives. Thus, when the baby reaches the age of reasonableness of 2 years (and hopefully, independent play, going by Jiale's standards), Jiale will be at most 6 years old. And I can start proper seatwork kind of homeschooling with him then! (this is the latest, worst estimate la. Hopefully I can solve my laziness problem earlier.) So, no need to worry for now! : )

Project this a few more years down the road - when Jiale is taking his PSLE, the youngest will be already about 8 years old. I can focus on helping him with exam preparations, no need to take care of small baby! :p

Book: Teach Your Own. The John Holt Book of Homeschooling

The author presents a strong case for homeschooling in this book. I don't think I had seriously read any book on homeschooling for school-aged children before, since my older son is not even 3 years old yet, and primary school seemed to be in the very distant future.

As I have not been feeling well recently, it took me quite some time to finish reading the book, unlike for the previous Holt book I read when I was enthusiastically taking notes. So I can't really write much here. One thing though, is that while reading this book, it was the first time I started to seriously contemplate homeschooling my sons even when they reach primary school age.

"The most important question any thinking creature can ask itself is, 'What is worth thinking about?' When we deny its right to decide that for itself, when we try to control what it must attend to and think about, we make it less observant, resourceful, and adaptive, in a word, less intelligent, in a blunter word, more stupid."

"Intelligence... is not the measure of how much we know how to do, but of how we behave when we don't know what to do. It has to do with our ability to think up important questions and then to find ways to get useful answers."

Butterfly Lodge & Our Butterflies

A couple of weeks ago I brought the boys to Oh' Farms Butterfly Lodge. The main purpose was to purchase caterpillars for the boys to observe how they grow into butterflies, and to visit the Butterfly Lodge since we were already traveling all the way to Yishun.

But the Lodge turned out to be quite a small enclosure. I wouldn't say that the butterflies looked too impressive either. Luckily, while I was planning the outing the previous night, I recalled that another mummy brought her children to Bottle Tree Park on the same day as Butterfly Lodge, and I decided to bring along the boys' wet gear for longkang fishing.

Bottle Tree Park is really very near Oh' Farms! I strongly recommend that you plan these two on the same day if you intend to visit Oh Farms, especially if you don't stay very near the area.

I bought three caterpillar kits ($4 each). Each kit came with two caterpillars in a plastic container, as well as care instructions and leaves to feed the caterpillars. The auntie was also very detailed when she taught me how to take care of the caterpillars.

Hmm, how did our caterpillars turn out?

The very next morning, four had turned into pupa and two were lying motionless on the bottom of the container. I also saw a few ants attacking the motionless caterpillars. I guessed they were dead so I threw them away. Out of the four hanging pupa, one looked rather black..

One week later, two butterflies emerged in one morning. Hubby wanted to release them before we went out in the afternoon, but I thought their wings were not dry yet as they were not flying around in the container and decided to wait till we came back. But when we reached home at 8pm+, one of the butterflies was not moving anymore! It seemed to have died (of hunger??).. nevertheless Jiale and I brought it downstairs to the bushes in case it had just fainted. The other butterfly was released successfully, but before it flew to my leg and stopped there for a while! Couldn't bear to leave us? Hee hee.

A third butterfly appeared the next morning. This time we released it around noon.

One of the normal-looking pupa

One week later, there was still no sign of life from the last (black) pupa. I decided to throw it away since it was probably dead.

Tip for rearing caterpillars:

Our 2nd butterfly

I should have put the containers in plates of water as soon as I brought them home. I think they are susceptible to ant attacks, though I wonder how they survive in the wild then.

Bye bye butterfly

Caterpillars!

Excreting excess dye

The pupa that looked red & raw, before turning black

The survival rate indicated in the care instructions was 50-60%, so I guess our 3 butterflies out of 6 caterpillars wasn't too bad lah.

[Sorry for the messy photos which are not in sequence. I can't get them to align properly, and Didi is up!]

Self-Initiated Learning

A few recent incidents really wow-ed me.. I was floored by how children instinctively and naturally learn.

Incident One
Jiale has got his toy animals and (quite) a few animal books for some time. A few days ago, I saw that he had taken out a toy snake and was reading Snakes Dictionary : )

Incident Two
I have a shelf near our usual bedtime reading area (i.e. living room sofa) where I put the books which I would prefer to read for bedtime. (But he is free to choose any other book from anywhere else for me to read.) All along he has been largely ok with the selection. But recently, he has started to go to Didi's shelves and chosen board books, which are mostly simpler stories with fewer words, and he started reading after me!

Incident Three
I seldom sing nursery rhymes to the boys, because I am not a great fan of singing nor do I have a good voice. Not that I am shy to sing in front of my own children la, just that I don't have the habit of breaking into song that often, lol. But what I do quite often is to insert my own words into the tune of a rhyme while talking to them. Urmm, the most often one is probably 'Didi is a naughty boy, naughty boy, naughty boy..' to the tune of 'London Bridge is Falling Down'. Haha. And nowadays, I notice Jiale has been doing the same thing! He sings (sorta), but the words seem to be all his own!

In general, I am very laid back about Jiale's developmental progress, especially after the first year (cos I became a cooler mum?? Hee hee). And these incidents just affirmed that what I am doing, at least some must be right! : )

Boys 2, Mummy 0

What happened after the short break just now?

We had a great time pretend cooking! Then the boys went for their bath (very dirty by then!), and I let them play with the water table, with bubbles and water beads. Then the trouble began.

The boys would usually play by themselves for about 30 minutes after their bath while I cleaned up and prepared lunch. But Jiale insisted on eating biscuits and I knew Didi would want to eat too when he saw Kor Kor eating... Then what about lunch?? I had already cooked soup and rice! But no choice, Jiale was very insistent and I had not finished preparing lunch, so I gave them biscuits. Then Jiale wanted to play with his Gigo cubes and insisted (yes, this word again) I make a car for him (yes, in addition to the one I made in the morning).

Then when lunch was served, Jiale refused to stop playing and didn't want to eat. He threw a huge tantrum and cried and cried and cried. By then I had realised what was happening - he had incidentally chosen all the more intellectual games/toys to play with this morning (logic game, building blocks, magnetic puzzle) and add on the very fun and simulating pretend cooking.... I had a overtired kid on my hands rolling on the floor. When he finally calmed down (still sobbing), he said he wanted to go to bed instead of having his lunch. My persuasive attempts were futile. So he went off to bed.

After about 5 minutes, he came out and was in a much better mood and wanted to eat his lunch. OK good, but I was already exhausted by his earlier tantrum (not forgetting the massive clean-up). There you go, the boys easily scored another point against mummy.

Play Cooking!

What does a mummy do with expired pasta? Let the boys play cooking with it of course!

Pots, ladles, bowls

Say ahhh...

Posing with his finished dish

Baby Chef at play work

Brothers who cook together stay together!

Let me add some sauce..

Great! More condiments!

Oops, messy!

Might as well make it messier, ya?

Sense of smell - peppercorns, ginger, garlic, rosemary, cloves

Verdict: I think the boys would give me a 'Well done, mummy!' :D

Boys 1, Mummy 0

1st time I'm blogging while the boys are awake, but it's gonna such a long post for FB status that I might as well write a blog post!

Woke up wanting to get ready before Didi started crying, but got hijacked by Jiale who wanted to play with the magnetic puzzle. Then Didi started crying. Couldn't rush Jiale, so once he finished, I rushed to brush teeth and prepare milk for Didi before going in to greet him.

While Didi was having milk, Jiale wanted breakfast. Means once Didi finished his milk, he wanted breakfast too. Jiale went off after he was done eating. While waiting for Didi to finish eating/playing with his food, Jiale wanted me to make a car with his cubes.

When Didi finally finished, I was cleaning him up when Jiale asked me to open the folder which contained GLUE. OK, fine. So, while I was cleaning up the eating area, the temporarily-clean Didi joined Jiale to play with glue. Sigh. So after I finished the cleaning up, I went into the room to clean up the boys and the glue mess.

Then I realised Didi had poo-ed. Stinky. And Jiale wanted me to play the Wisdom Star logic game with him. So, leaving Didi with poo in his diaper, I sat down to play with Jiale. Once he was satisfied, it was time to clean shit.

Phew, finally 'all' done. Yeah, right. Time to prepare for morning sensory play. Dunno why the jello I prepared last night had not hardened!! Wasted my time.

Now I finally get to sit down before they go off to make a mess again. Don't care, I'm going to sit here for at least 20 minutes!!

Teacher Cut Hair Saga

Teacher gave boy warnings to cut his hair, he failed to pass on the message to his mother or to take any other action, teacher cut his hair for him before his PSLE oral exam, mother lodged police report.

I guess no one was perfectly right in this situation.

Teacher - the timing of the haircut might not have been very appropriate, and perhaps she should have made more effort to contact the boy's parents to inform them of the school warning. But then, dish out punishment still need to wait for auspicious time meh? If the wrongdoing happens to be before PSLE, if the punishment happens to be before PSLE, so be it lor. The boy suay lor. Frankly speaking, I think the teacher probably knew she would get into some sort of trouble for cutting the boy's hair, though she might not imagined it would be a police report and this type of mega publicity. Thus I commend her for going ahead with what she 'promised' to do. I hope the boy learnt a valuable lesson called keeping to one's promise.

Boy - He's already 12 years old lor. I think of my nephew who is also 12, and I can't imagine him being immature (or dumb) enough to get into this type of trouble. This boy has attitude problem lah. No prizes for guessing why he has attitude problem. And he's a wimp. Cry because of hair? I think I will give him an extra slap if he's my son. And I really can't wait for him to go to NS *evil laugh*

Mother - she's the champion. I think she is the most wrong of all. Simply because she is the one whom the boy will look to for guidance and as a role model. No matter what the teacher did, she was but just one of many teachers who would pass through the boy's life. But the mother remains a constant. The boy will learn from how she responded in this case. I shudder to think how he will react to future disciplinary attempts from school authorities. I wonder if the mother realises she had sabo-ed her son. Or till now, does she still think she was helping him? Good intentions no doubt, after she's the mother and I believe she wouldn't sabo him intentionally. But but but.

Haii haii haii..

Post National Day Rally

Yep, Singaporeans are complaining again. I really buay tahan!!

Firstly, there is probably going to be nothing at all in the new package that will benefit me - I am a SAHM so no need for maternity leave anymore, no intention to send my kids to preschool, no need for the HDB priority cos we have no plans to move (I think I don't wanna move until my kids are old enough to pack their own stuff!!), paternity leave has not much impact on us cos Hubby does have quite a lot of leave (need to clear!!) and he doesn't take long stretches of leave cos we don't have overseas vacation. Oh, we will benefit from the new Medisave for newborns, just like everyone else : )

Truth to be told, as I was listening to PM Lee, of course I was hoping that there would be something for SAHMs.. but well, nothing. And frankly, I think the government would be nuts to offer incentives for women to become SAHMs! We already need more human beings in the workforce.. how to let go of women who need incentives to become SAHMs?? If indeed more and more women are already willing to become SAHMs without external incentives, I am sure that is already a headache for the government.. good enough that we are not penalized ok. If you remember about positive/negative reinforcement/punishment, the lack of a reward is not a punishment. So, it is definitely not right to say oh since working mothers get more subsidies, it's punishing SAHMs... no no no. If encourage women to become SAHMs + give long maternity leave (16 weeks is already long ok) + give paternity leave... WHO work????

I am fortunate that my hubby is able to support our family of four and I don't die die have to work. But seriously, how many of the people around me who are complaining are those who die die need dual incomes to survive?? Or just need dual incomes to sustain a comfortable lifestyle which they are used to and are not willing to sacrifice for the sake of their children? I am not saying that it is wrong to be a working mother, I am saying it's a choice. It's a personal choice, it's a family choice, it's a lifestyle choice. If after considering all aspects and one/both spouse(s) are not willing to become a single-income family, cannot blame the government right?

Preschools. Haha. There are now 247 PCF kindergartens. BUT so many people choose to enrol their children in more expensive and atas preschools. Whose fault? Whose problem? Yes, yes, some might say the quality is different. So, you choose quality, you pay lor. (This is just like the housing problem.) No money? Then give up the overseas trips, give up enrichment lessons, give up branded clothes & bags & makeup & car & condominium. Tata! Got money liao! 

I also like very much the decision not to nationalise preschools. Because people just wanna enrol at atas schools without paying atas fees. But then, the whole world also want that mah. Then not enough places.. then how? Instead, the government will be bringing in new AOPs (Anchor Operators, ie PCF & NTUC) and upgrading existing AOPs. Yes! More non-atas kindergartens! DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT give in to not-poor parents who only want atas preschools and not willing to pay! Worried about social mobility? Worried about disadvantaged lower-income families? Government will take care of them!

Actually, the abovementioned is just referring to people around me, i.e. definitely not poor people. Not rich maybe, but not poor not poor not poor. So I am very glad that the proposed increased financial support is targeted toward low- and middle-income groups. That's the way to go! Must help those who are really poor and who can't even afford PCF kindergartens even though they are happy to enrol their children there. Ignore those who have money but still want to complain.

[Sidetrack: My 33-month-old son is attending one morning (3 hours) of preschool a week. It is an atas and expensive preschool. One month (i.e. 4 lessons) costs about $300. If we want to enrol him there for daily lessons, it will be a crazy $1500 per month. Since we can't afford it/don't want to spend this kind of money, if/when we do want to send him for daily classes, we will enrol him at PCF instead. A kindergarten which we can afford. It is probably not as good as his current school, it definitely doesn't meet all my criteria for a good school, but it's our choice after considering our limitations. No complaints.]

Money aside, PM has made it clear that there is no need to drill young children (poor kids) academically in preschools. Loud and clear. But will parents listen? Nope. They will just complain they have no choice because the local education system is so competitive and academic-based. I agree, it's competitive and academic-based. To me, that is exactly why there is no need to worry so much during preschool. Because our education system is so effective that the kids will learn what they need to learn for P1 during P1! The parents are the ones spoiling the market and making life difficult for teachers, other parents and policy-makers. Kiasu, and then complain it's other people's fault.

We cannot control the larger system - unless you are willing to be a social activist &/or advocate. But, are you willing to make the sacrifices to do so? No? So you just wanna complain? Let's just do what an individual can control - make a difference with your own children, drop out of the rat race. We have to start somewhere, instead of waiting for some other people/things to change first.

The Mystery of the Missing Frogs

About two weeks ago, we had our first frog! A few days later, a second frog appeared. I was cracking my head about what to feed them, cos from what I read, tadpoles are herbivores while adult frogs need to eat insects. I went to fish shops but was told that they only sold frogs to feed fish.. nothing for frogs : / So I tried to catch ants for the frogs but I wasn't too diligent about it.

A couple of days ago, I realised I couldn't see the two frogs anymore! Was rather perplexed, and today when I changed the water and took a close look, the frogs really weren't in the box anymore! Hmm, the frogs are apparently prone to eating their own kind when desperate hungry, but... they couldn't have eaten each other, right??

There is no way to solve the mystery, but I am guessing out of desperation they had escaped from the two small holes I poked in the lid for ventilation. Urmm, and since they probably slimmed down from the no-choice dieting, it probably wasn't too difficult.

Anyway Jiale and I are really enjoying this froggy journey. We have watched the tiny tadpoles grow into frogs! Hopefully I will be able to persevere until the frogs produce eggs, as we missed out on that stage.

As you can see from the photo above, we have a new froglet! It just emerged from the water this afternoon. And I shall try really hard to feed it well!

Developing Good Habits

Two things about Jiale which I am very proud of - his sleep habits and his walking abilities.

He has been sleeping on his own since five months old. Was in a cot in our bedroom before that, but even then, he never got to sleep on our bed. When he was 14 months old, he started sleeping in a kid's bed (cos he was almost able to climb out of his cot and I got too scared). Now, I am very happy that he knows how to sleep on his own : )

Jiale never asks me to carry him when we are out. He can walk and walk and walk when we are at the zoo or bird park or Changi Boardwalk etc. He seldom even complains at all.

BUT I don't think it's innate abilities. It's habits trained by me. I am 100% sure he will still need me to accompany him to sleep if I had started this habit when he was younger. So, it's just one habit versus another. Same for walking, other than mummy's preferences, the fact is I was pregnant with Didi when Jiale started to walk, so I seldom carried him even at home, asking him to walk instead. Thus, 'forced' by circumstances, he (and me) is very used to walking on his own.

[But I think that before 2 years old, it's difficult for a child to walk fast enough to keep up with an adult's pace, and also difficult for him to have sufficient endurance to walk a lot. Though Jiale didn't ask me to carry when he was younger, I found it hard to expect him to walk, cos he was sooo slooooow. And asking a child to hurry up is simply asking for trouble.]

BUT the same Jiale always asks Daddy to carry! Even from our house to the carpark..... I wouldn't torture any of us by going for a long trek as a family.. Thus you don't see us doing such activities on weekends. I mean, what's the point of going for a nature walk if the boy isn't going to WALK???

[OK, maybe not true, even if he doesn't walk, there are still many things to see. Just that one of my main goals of going on such treks (i.e. torturing myself) is to train Jiale to TAHAN, to train his physique and stamina and endurance.]

Children are very smart - they can adjust to different expectations effortlessly lor. It is really Daddy's fault for spoiling him... and also for being too impatient to wait for Jiale to walk slowly (though it might not be slow for a child). In the beginning, Jiale did try asking me to carry, but I always let him finish his tantrum and he would walk in the end (because I would NEVER give in and carry). Now that Jiale is walking much faster, I am reaping the rewards of my patience and efforts, while Daddy is suffering lor :p I have suggested that Daddy start training Jiale now.. but I guess he can't bear to/can't be bothered to/can't stand the embarrassment, so it's status quo for now.

Other good habits which I have cultivated/am cultivating - always getting off his bike and pushing it across at underpassess and overhead bridges. Doesn't matter whether there are other people around, cannot be lazy for the sake of convenience. And always throwing litter in the bins - Jiale exclaims and points out any litter he sees nowadays. A funny anecdote here - Didi has also been 'brainwashed' simply through Kor Kor's influence and observing us. There was once when we were at the letterbox and suddenly I realised Didi was quietly picking up all the junk mail on the floor and throwing them into the bin! I don't usually ask Jiale to pick up other people's litter cos I don't want him to dirty his hands (and we would be very busy if we always pick up all the litter!). But it was good to see Didi being so proactive, hee hee.

Of course there are also bad habits caused by me.. But that's another (or many other) story.

Change in Routine

Didi's naptime was usually 11.30am, and Jiale's was 12.30pm. But Jiale often woke Didi up with his LOUD whining and crying when it was time for him to go in to his room, so I decided I had to do something about it.

Thus, from today onwards, the boys shall go in for their nap at the same time, at 12nn. Jiale stops crying by the time he's on his bed (it's the getting him away from whatever he is doing that is difficult, he is ok to sleep on his own), so Didi will be still awake (alone in his bedroom) during Jiale's whining.

The good thing is, we have a longer morning together, so we are able to do more things. Since morning is our usual time for sensory/messy play, that means more play! (and also more time for me to clean up, thankfully). This morning, we had fun playing with big bubble wrap and paint. I also read many more books than usual to the boys. Jiale has always had the habit of asking me or Daddy to read to him, while Didi used to be totally not interested in books, he now follows Kor Kor and also brings books for me to read to him : ) And who says sibling rivalry is not good - the boys keep asking for more and more books in an attempt to 'out-read' each other! (They take turns to choose the book for me to read.)

The bad thing is, Didi now has to watch the Letterland CD-ROM together with Jiale. Jiale is allowed to watch two letters a day, IF he remembers to ask for it :P However I would prefer Didi not to start so early, as I am worried he might learn his alphabet ONLY based on the Letterland characters, and not recognize the normal plain alphabet. Not so concerned about the electronic usage here, as it takes no more than ten minutes. Well, as you can see, Didi was very engrossed! His eyes so big right? They got even bigger as he stared at the screen! Aiyoooooo....

And hor, while I have my doubts that this is caused by bringing his naptime 30 minutes earlier, Jiale is still awake now! 1 hour 25 minutes after he goes in to bed. SIGH. I have finally been feeling well enough to bring them out these two days, but on both Sunday & Monday, my plans were fouled because Jiale woke up too late from his nap. Looks like today might also be a no-going-out day : (

But what to do, the siblings have to adjust to each other's routine lor. Sleep is still the singular most important thing to a young child in my opinion.