is not sending Jiale to school before/when Didi was born. At that time, I was actually inclined toward packing him off to school, but there was just a tiny little bit of doubt in my heart. I also couldn't decide on a suitable school, given Hubby's thriftiness and the fact that I would have to be the one sending & fetching Jiale... with a newborn in tow! I was reluctant to commit to anything which would disrupt my newborn's naps, especially given my obsession with naps for the kids. (A good thing, see Didi can nap so well now!)
But then, given my just-do-it character, I would have disregarded/overcome the 'obstacles', if not for that tiny little bit of doubt which led to me proscrasinating.. dragging my feet.. half-hearted about things.. Not my usual style at all.
By the time I felt some urgency about the school enrolment (when other mummies whose EDD were 2-3 months later than mine had all settled the school arrangements for their firstborns), it was too late as Didi was almost here, and there would be no 3-month adjustment period for Jiale. I did not want him to start school just before Didi arrived, as I did not want him to think that I was sending him away because of Didi (though that would be the truth).
So, I missed the boat.
And I am really glad! It was not easy coping with two young children (both under 2 years old!), but I have never regretted keeping Jiale at home with me. (Just occasional bouts of frustration when he was being naughty, and occasional self-doubting moments when I wondered whether school would be better for him.)
In a way, the adjustment was gradual. When we first came home from the hospital, the confinement nanny helped a lot with caring for Didi. And Didi couldn't do much anyway.. not mobile yet, could only lie there the whole day.. the most he could do was to cry (loudly).. what I mainly needed to do was to breastfeed him.
Then as he got more mobile (and demanding), it also meant that there was less no-idea-why crying (andd no need to feed so often!) We also got into a routine for both the boys' daily essentials like naps and mealtimes.
Now Didi is really very mobile and not at all shy to make his demands & preferences known, can fight with Kor Kor and beat him. But it also means I don't have to worry so much about him falling down, don't have to keep guessing what he wants, and he can defend himself when Kor Kor bullies him.
Through all these, there have been so many wonderful precious moments with Jiale. Moments which we would not have together if he were in school instead. We have been to so many adventures together, from playgrounds to parks to zoo and many others. As little as the amount of time we spend on homelearning activities, this would have been further reduced if he had to go to school everyday. He might not have learnt as much as compared to going to school, but whatever he receives is 100% attention and love.
By the way, I no longer have any lingering doubts about whether this is the best for Jiale. I know it is.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Book: The Excellent 11
By: Ron Clark
No need for any suspense, the 11 qualities which the author observed in teachers/parents 'who were involved in bringing up great kids' are:
Given that he wrote this from a teacher's perspective (there was no mention of his children in the book, no idea whether he was a parent), the book might be more relevant to teachers. Still, the first nine chapters (i.e. the first nine qualities) were ok. But the last two chapters were obviously targeted toward teachers.
I have reserved his Essential 55 from NLB. Shall share here after I finish reading : )
No need for any suspense, the 11 qualities which the author observed in teachers/parents 'who were involved in bringing up great kids' are:
- Enthusiasm
- Adventure
- Creativity
- Reflection
- Balance
- Compassion
- Confidence
- Humor
- Common Sense
- Appreciation
- Resilience
Given that he wrote this from a teacher's perspective (there was no mention of his children in the book, no idea whether he was a parent), the book might be more relevant to teachers. Still, the first nine chapters (i.e. the first nine qualities) were ok. But the last two chapters were obviously targeted toward teachers.
I have reserved his Essential 55 from NLB. Shall share here after I finish reading : )
Friday, July 27, 2012
Learning Construction
Jiale was showing a lot of interest in construction sites, especially the heavy machinery, so we did a simple learning on this theme. It was quite easy to prepare, as most of the 'learning' actually took place outdoors. I realised how common construction sites were in Singapore! Every bus/taxi/car ride, the boys looked out for cranes. Even Didi now goes 'boom boom' whenever he sees a crane! (Actually it's the pile driver which goes 'boom boom', but never mind, no need to be so exact :p) And when we were close enough, especially at smaller works (e.g. road repairs), we would stop to look and I would explain what was going on. (I mean, I tried my best la, not that I am enginner lor.. But I did learn many new terms too!)
Jiale is also spending quite a lot of his free time playing with the construction toys, about as much time as he spends on his trains! (i.e. he gave up half about his train time for this, aka喜新厌旧，移情别恋！）
I'm really enjoying our homelearning activities. Nowadays when we go out, we notice more things and have more things to talk about. First it was the weather, now we are often enthralled by construction-related things too. I prefer to go from real-life to homelearning, i.e. take the topic from something we see/hear/do/use then look for books/activities to complement. With the help of books, we can look at the machinery in more details, which in turn makes it easier for us to talk about the things we see. From here, we can also branch out to things which we do not see so often/at all, to increase his (our) general knowledge and expose him to new things.
[I guess for older kids, there is probably no need to do a 'study' on such a simple topic. Probably just a verbal explanation will do.. But this is tailored to my 32-month-old-not-speaking-a-lot son : ) ]
Jiale is also spending quite a lot of his free time playing with the construction toys, about as much time as he spends on his trains! (i.e. he gave up half about his train time for this, aka喜新厌旧，移情别恋！）
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| Very long word! No expectations for him to spell la. |
 |
| Books & toys! |
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| Naming common construction machinery |
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| Related safety signs - we did a lot of scenario play with Lego figurines & the toy machinery |
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| Cranky is of course THE tower crane! |
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| Pretend play |
[I guess for older kids, there is probably no need to do a 'study' on such a simple topic. Probably just a verbal explanation will do.. But this is tailored to my 32-month-old-not-speaking-a-lot son : ) ]
Thursday, July 26, 2012
妈妈是最初的老师
蔡颖卿 著
The author is the mother of two daughters and the book is a collection of her memos throughout the girls' growing up years. It is a good read, interesting and well-written. Unfortunately the first memo in the book was written when the elder daughter was already in the equivalent of primary school, and there was little or no mention of how she taught/guided the girls when they were younger.
Both the girls seemed to be very self-motivated by then, and it seemed that the parents did not have to do much other than to provide a listening ear. The girls did very well academically and were also well-rounded in volunteer work, CCAs etc. But but but... dunno how the parents did that..!
From the introduction, I read that this family had moved from Taiwan to Bangkok, back to Taiwan, and then to Singapore, before the elder daughter went to America to study (the rest of the family remained in Singapore). Thus I was interested to read what insights the author would provide about the various educational systems. But the girls studied at international schools, so I guess they didn't really experience the infamous Singaporean system :P
In general, the parents were nothing like the Tiger Mum, but then I guess they did not need to at all. What I gathered was that the mother emphasized the importance of the family being the supporting pillar for the girls as they endeavoured toward their goals -- thus when the father had overseas postings for work, they chose to have the whole family move together at the cost of the girls having to change schools. When they had to stay at hotels while awaiting suitable acocmodations, the mother still made sure to cook dinner for the family to have their meals together.
So, this book just made me very envious and very gian. But with no idea how to achieve the same results!
The author is the mother of two daughters and the book is a collection of her memos throughout the girls' growing up years. It is a good read, interesting and well-written. Unfortunately the first memo in the book was written when the elder daughter was already in the equivalent of primary school, and there was little or no mention of how she taught/guided the girls when they were younger.
Both the girls seemed to be very self-motivated by then, and it seemed that the parents did not have to do much other than to provide a listening ear. The girls did very well academically and were also well-rounded in volunteer work, CCAs etc. But but but... dunno how the parents did that..!
From the introduction, I read that this family had moved from Taiwan to Bangkok, back to Taiwan, and then to Singapore, before the elder daughter went to America to study (the rest of the family remained in Singapore). Thus I was interested to read what insights the author would provide about the various educational systems. But the girls studied at international schools, so I guess they didn't really experience the infamous Singaporean system :P
In general, the parents were nothing like the Tiger Mum, but then I guess they did not need to at all. What I gathered was that the mother emphasized the importance of the family being the supporting pillar for the girls as they endeavoured toward their goals -- thus when the father had overseas postings for work, they chose to have the whole family move together at the cost of the girls having to change schools. When they had to stay at hotels while awaiting suitable acocmodations, the mother still made sure to cook dinner for the family to have their meals together.
So, this book just made me very envious and very gian. But with no idea how to achieve the same results!
Dangers of Being a SAHM - Emergency Planning
Two things happened this week that made me realise how vulnerable I am to be alone with two young children most of the time. On Monday I suddenly felt very unwell and could barely stand up. Hubby was at work and my family was at faraway Jurong. Though my in-laws were nearby (four bus stops away), I was too sick to be thinking clearly and did not think of calling them for help at all.
This morning I dropped a glass bottle (soy sauce) and there were glass shreds all over the kitchen floor. Didi was sitting less than 20cm away and Jiale was just a little farther away. Though the cleaning auntie was around, she was washing the bedroom toilet and did not know there was a 'disaster'. My feet were very wet because of the soy sauce and Didi was splattered with some too. I carried him a distance away and told the boys to stay away from the kitchen. Luckily Jiale was around to sorta help take care of Didi. He was too young to coax Didi away from the kitchen, so he dragged him away amidst babyish complaints. Jiale also 'tolerated' Didi's interruptions more and did not say 'no' to him as much as usual, so the two boys were able to play together in the living room for quite some time while I cleaned up. There is now a small dent in the floor (homogeneous tiles!), so I am really glad the bottle didn't land on Didi's head >.<
It took me a long time to pick up the glass shreds and I was really thankful for Jiale's help. But it also got me thinking - what if the boys had not been so cooperative? What if a more serious accident had happened? What if I was the one who needed help? (especially given that I have been feeling light-headed recently and might faint anytime)
I have decided to start doing the following:
1. Teach Jiale how to call Daddy on the phone. Once he gets the hang of it, I shall teach him to call my sister and my in-laws as well. The con is that he might start making 'nuisance deep-breathing-no-talking' type of calls to them. Oh well, safety first. I'm sure they won't mind anyway.
2. Ask Hubby to call me at regular intervals, at least twice a day. Hope he can remember...
3. Leave the main door open whenever I am home alone with the boys. So that Jiale can ask for help when the neighbours walk by. Or if I faint in the living room, the neighbours will be able to see me.
That's all I can think of for now. Suggestions are most welcome!
This morning I dropped a glass bottle (soy sauce) and there were glass shreds all over the kitchen floor. Didi was sitting less than 20cm away and Jiale was just a little farther away. Though the cleaning auntie was around, she was washing the bedroom toilet and did not know there was a 'disaster'. My feet were very wet because of the soy sauce and Didi was splattered with some too. I carried him a distance away and told the boys to stay away from the kitchen. Luckily Jiale was around to sorta help take care of Didi. He was too young to coax Didi away from the kitchen, so he dragged him away amidst babyish complaints. Jiale also 'tolerated' Didi's interruptions more and did not say 'no' to him as much as usual, so the two boys were able to play together in the living room for quite some time while I cleaned up. There is now a small dent in the floor (homogeneous tiles!), so I am really glad the bottle didn't land on Didi's head >.<
It took me a long time to pick up the glass shreds and I was really thankful for Jiale's help. But it also got me thinking - what if the boys had not been so cooperative? What if a more serious accident had happened? What if I was the one who needed help? (especially given that I have been feeling light-headed recently and might faint anytime)
I have decided to start doing the following:
1. Teach Jiale how to call Daddy on the phone. Once he gets the hang of it, I shall teach him to call my sister and my in-laws as well. The con is that he might start making 'nuisance deep-breathing-no-talking' type of calls to them. Oh well, safety first. I'm sure they won't mind anyway.
2. Ask Hubby to call me at regular intervals, at least twice a day. Hope he can remember...
3. Leave the main door open whenever I am home alone with the boys. So that Jiale can ask for help when the neighbours walk by. Or if I faint in the living room, the neighbours will be able to see me.
That's all I can think of for now. Suggestions are most welcome!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
(How to Get to) Pasir Ris Mangrove Swamp
The NParks website indicates that there are five entrances to the mangrove swamp and that it is best to start the walk at the Carpark B entrance 'for a more fruitful tour'. So I arranged to meet my friend at Carpark B. But it was so difficult to find!
From the main road (Pasir Ris Drive 3), you can't see any sign indicating 'carpark B' at all! There is only a huge sign saying 'Pasir Ris Park Carpark C', which is at Pasir Ris Green.
If you are heading from Downtown East toward Elias Road, the carparks start from A to F (not sure whether there are any more carparks after F, which is the furthest I have been to). So you should pass Carpark B before you see Carpark C. Carpark B's entrance is almost directly opposite the McDonalds drive-thru. You can see the carpark from the main road, just no sign.
[By the way, what I did was alight from cab at Carpark C, then walked through the mangrove to Carpark B.]
Have to walk a bit before you reach the mangrove entrance, but there are signboards along the way, so it isn't too hard to find.
It was indeed quite true that there were more things to see from the Carpark B entrance.. because a large of the mangrove swamp was quite dry! No water = didn't seem much like a mangrove swamp! Not sure whether it was because of the time of the day (we started walking just before 5pm) or weather or what.. (But I think it's seawater right? So I don't think it's the recent heat that dried up the mangrove swamp?) Anyway there was more water near this entrance.
There is a birdwatching tower too. I passed it while cutting through the mangrove to get to my friend, but we couldn't find it (or rather, forgot to try to find our way there) afterwards so we did not go up. Met a group of bird enthusiasts (with pro pro cameras!) and one of them pointed out a kingfisher and a few big bird's nests a distance away. The boys were too busy playing to bother about the nests, and I doubt Jiale would be able to see them even if I pointed them out to him.
We (meaning the mummies) also saw a few small crabs and two big dunno-the-name lizards. Hmm, didn't see much living things actually.
If you are interested to visit the Pasir Ris Mangrove Swamps, the Naked Hermit Crabs do conduct tours but I emailed them recently and they said they would not be conducting any tour at Pasir Ris till Nov earliest.
They also suggested I check out Mangrove Action Squad. I just left a comment at their blog asking about the next tour.
NParks also conducts guided tours, every 3rd Saturday of the month, but there is a minimum of 15 persons to start the group and you have to register with them at least 2 days in advance. See here for more info. It's not free, but I think $4 a person is worth it.
I am seriously tempted to bring the boys again in August, but I wonder how Jiale will react when he sees it's the mangrove swamp again! But I will only go with guides cos otherwise, I really don't know what to look out for. I should also have planned a simple unit study on mangrove swamps as an introduction to Jiale before going, so that he knows what he's supposed to be looking out for.
Sungei Buloh is tooooooo far.. and I don't dare to bring the 2 boys on a boat by myself to go to Chek Jawa!
From the main road (Pasir Ris Drive 3), you can't see any sign indicating 'carpark B' at all! There is only a huge sign saying 'Pasir Ris Park Carpark C', which is at Pasir Ris Green.
If you are heading from Downtown East toward Elias Road, the carparks start from A to F (not sure whether there are any more carparks after F, which is the furthest I have been to). So you should pass Carpark B before you see Carpark C. Carpark B's entrance is almost directly opposite the McDonalds drive-thru. You can see the carpark from the main road, just no sign.
[By the way, what I did was alight from cab at Carpark C, then walked through the mangrove to Carpark B.]
Have to walk a bit before you reach the mangrove entrance, but there are signboards along the way, so it isn't too hard to find.
It was indeed quite true that there were more things to see from the Carpark B entrance.. because a large of the mangrove swamp was quite dry! No water = didn't seem much like a mangrove swamp! Not sure whether it was because of the time of the day (we started walking just before 5pm) or weather or what.. (But I think it's seawater right? So I don't think it's the recent heat that dried up the mangrove swamp?) Anyway there was more water near this entrance.
There is a birdwatching tower too. I passed it while cutting through the mangrove to get to my friend, but we couldn't find it (or rather, forgot to try to find our way there) afterwards so we did not go up. Met a group of bird enthusiasts (with pro pro cameras!) and one of them pointed out a kingfisher and a few big bird's nests a distance away. The boys were too busy playing to bother about the nests, and I doubt Jiale would be able to see them even if I pointed them out to him.
We (meaning the mummies) also saw a few small crabs and two big dunno-the-name lizards. Hmm, didn't see much living things actually.
If you are interested to visit the Pasir Ris Mangrove Swamps, the Naked Hermit Crabs do conduct tours but I emailed them recently and they said they would not be conducting any tour at Pasir Ris till Nov earliest.
They also suggested I check out Mangrove Action Squad. I just left a comment at their blog asking about the next tour.
NParks also conducts guided tours, every 3rd Saturday of the month, but there is a minimum of 15 persons to start the group and you have to register with them at least 2 days in advance. See here for more info. It's not free, but I think $4 a person is worth it.
I am seriously tempted to bring the boys again in August, but I wonder how Jiale will react when he sees it's the mangrove swamp again! But I will only go with guides cos otherwise, I really don't know what to look out for. I should also have planned a simple unit study on mangrove swamps as an introduction to Jiale before going, so that he knows what he's supposed to be looking out for.
Sungei Buloh is tooooooo far.. and I don't dare to bring the 2 boys on a boat by myself to go to Chek Jawa!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Mummy's Personality
Been thinking recently that it's not so much about what's right or wrong, good or bad when it comes to parenting. The mother/main caregiver's personality determines what life will be like for the child.
I am outdoorsy
so my boys get a lot of outdoor time. If I hate the sun and non-aircon etc, no matter how much I read about how good/important outdoor play is for children, I would not be able to actualize it.
I am independent
so my boys get to go out very often. I can cope with them without hubby, otherwise even though I am sahm, I could only bring them out on weekends when hubby is free. I don't need company either, so I am perfectly happy to go out with just the boys, no need to date other mummies and try to compromise one another's routines & schedules.
I am disciplined
so my boys are on a structured routine.
I am no-nonsense
so the boys are sleep-trained from 8 months old and 5 months old respectively. Please don't tell mummy you are not tired. Because I know you are.
I amfirm strict fierce firm strict fierce firm strict fierce ok can't decide. I am firm/strict/fierce/combi
so my boyslive in fear are obedient (at least to my expectations of a 1yo and a 2.5yo).
I am a lousy cook
so they don't get to eat yummy meals : (
(though this is more of my lack of skills rather than a part of personality)
I am emotional
so they witness some of my breakdowns. Blah : (
I am argumentative
so they witness some of my disagreements with cab drivers etc : /
Got good, got bad lah.
Personality is not the same as conscious parenting choices, such as focusing on play rather than academic teaching, or deciding how old to send the child to school. See the difference?
I am outdoorsy
so my boys get a lot of outdoor time. If I hate the sun and non-aircon etc, no matter how much I read about how good/important outdoor play is for children, I would not be able to actualize it.
I am independent
so my boys get to go out very often. I can cope with them without hubby, otherwise even though I am sahm, I could only bring them out on weekends when hubby is free. I don't need company either, so I am perfectly happy to go out with just the boys, no need to date other mummies and try to compromise one another's routines & schedules.
I am disciplined
so my boys are on a structured routine.
I am no-nonsense
so the boys are sleep-trained from 8 months old and 5 months old respectively. Please don't tell mummy you are not tired. Because I know you are.
I am
so my boys
I am a lousy cook
so they don't get to eat yummy meals : (
(though this is more of my lack of skills rather than a part of personality)
I am emotional
so they witness some of my breakdowns. Blah : (
I am argumentative
so they witness some of my disagreements with cab drivers etc : /
Got good, got bad lah.
Personality is not the same as conscious parenting choices, such as focusing on play rather than academic teaching, or deciding how old to send the child to school. See the difference?
The Grandparents' TV
My version of an ideal visit to the grandparents:
Grandparents play with the grandchildren. Cousins play with one another. Adults chit chat with one another. The key is human interaction.
Food can be takeaways or we can eat out. If the grandmother's cooking is desired and sought after, she can cook a fast one-dish meal or cook in advance and just warm up the food at dinnertime.
Everyone sits down to eat together at mealtime. There might be a need to split into two rounds if the family is big, but in my opinion, both the grandparents should be present at the table throughout. Because they are the ones we all specially make a trip to visit, aren't they?
After dinner, the grandparents are naturally tired by then, having played and laughed with the grandchildren just now. At this time, the TV is acceptable, for the elderly folks to sit down and relax. It is also acceptable for the grandchildren to watch TV now as they are keeping the grandparents company, watching a programme of the grandparents' choice. It might be boring or incomprehensible to the youngsters, which makes it all the more meaningful.
To put it blandly, I think it's a waste of time to be at the grandparents' place physically ONLY. When I see my sons go there and just watch TV or play on his own without cousins/grandparents, I wish so much we could be somewhere else.
Sigh.
A Sad Thing
There is a blog which I have been following for more than two years (no, it's not someone I actually know, so don't worry you all), the child is about 15 months older than Jiale, and I liked the way the parents were teaching/interacting with their child. In fact, I bought many of the parenting and children books I now have because the parents were using them with their child.
The mother was a sahm initially, and when she went back to work, the child was placed in childcare. But this post is not about sahm vs ftwm or the pros & cons of childcare.
The boy is four years old now. The parents wrote on their blog that they signed him up for extra enrichment lessons (conducted in the same childcare centre) on three of the days because otherwise he would be left to read or do quiet activities on his own after the main curriculum ended around 5pm.
They signed him up for two weekend classes, one for each day, because he was no longer willing to read with them or do learning activities like workbooks. Instead he would rather play with his trains or watch train videos on iPad.
No doubt the boy was learning something from these enrichment classes (the parents blogged about them too). And having read their blog for more than two years, I don't doubt the parents' starting point was for the good of the child. Neither do I have any intention of criticising their parenting methods... Just that when I read the blog, I felt sad for the boy.... So sad that it has been one whole day and I am still feeling affected.. hence this post...
Because the word 'burnout' screamed at me as I was reading their post. I am no couch psychologist and definitely don't claim to be able to 'diagnose' any problem just from reading a blog. It just saddens me to think that a four-year-old might be possibly suffering burnout...... I considered leaving a comment on their blog, but decided against it, as I do not like unsolicited advice (especially about parenting) and I do not wish to impose my unsolicited views on others. (It's different if you read my blog cos you are a voluntary victim ok :P)
So I am writing about it here as a reminder to myself and to all my voluntary victims. After all, what can we use to 'diagnose' burnout in a young child if not for such little warning signs? The boy might not be burnt out or unhappy at all, but if I see similar signs in my sons, I will most definitely worry they are burnt out.
Downtime is important, whether at home or in school/childcare, especially when the child is there from morning to evening. Time for the child to do nothing. 'Nothing' is a very important item I strive for daily in my boys' routines. When I see Jiale playing with his trains on the floor, I know he's deeply engrossed in pretend play and actively working his imagination. When I see Jiale 'stoning', I know he's letting his mind wander and be free or he's thinking hard about something or he's just resting - all are good.
My parenting philosophies and goals have changed quite a lot over the past 2+ years, because of the books I have read and what I observed in my sons. I do not claim to be an expert, I freely profess what I write here is based on my own opinions and inclinations/preferences/bias. I share what I do/think/know not because I am helpful or 伟大 or what. I am not trying to 'help' the parents at all. It's the children whom my heart aches for... yes, that tiny person....
The mother was a sahm initially, and when she went back to work, the child was placed in childcare. But this post is not about sahm vs ftwm or the pros & cons of childcare.
The boy is four years old now. The parents wrote on their blog that they signed him up for extra enrichment lessons (conducted in the same childcare centre) on three of the days because otherwise he would be left to read or do quiet activities on his own after the main curriculum ended around 5pm.
They signed him up for two weekend classes, one for each day, because he was no longer willing to read with them or do learning activities like workbooks. Instead he would rather play with his trains or watch train videos on iPad.
No doubt the boy was learning something from these enrichment classes (the parents blogged about them too). And having read their blog for more than two years, I don't doubt the parents' starting point was for the good of the child. Neither do I have any intention of criticising their parenting methods... Just that when I read the blog, I felt sad for the boy.... So sad that it has been one whole day and I am still feeling affected.. hence this post...
Because the word 'burnout' screamed at me as I was reading their post. I am no couch psychologist and definitely don't claim to be able to 'diagnose' any problem just from reading a blog. It just saddens me to think that a four-year-old might be possibly suffering burnout...... I considered leaving a comment on their blog, but decided against it, as I do not like unsolicited advice (especially about parenting) and I do not wish to impose my unsolicited views on others. (It's different if you read my blog cos you are a voluntary victim ok :P)
So I am writing about it here as a reminder to myself and to all my voluntary victims. After all, what can we use to 'diagnose' burnout in a young child if not for such little warning signs? The boy might not be burnt out or unhappy at all, but if I see similar signs in my sons, I will most definitely worry they are burnt out.
Downtime is important, whether at home or in school/childcare, especially when the child is there from morning to evening. Time for the child to do nothing. 'Nothing' is a very important item I strive for daily in my boys' routines. When I see Jiale playing with his trains on the floor, I know he's deeply engrossed in pretend play and actively working his imagination. When I see Jiale 'stoning', I know he's letting his mind wander and be free or he's thinking hard about something or he's just resting - all are good.
My parenting philosophies and goals have changed quite a lot over the past 2+ years, because of the books I have read and what I observed in my sons. I do not claim to be an expert, I freely profess what I write here is based on my own opinions and inclinations/preferences/bias. I share what I do/think/know not because I am helpful or 伟大 or what. I am not trying to 'help' the parents at all. It's the children whom my heart aches for... yes, that tiny person....
Survival Theme
Have decided to focus our learning activities around the survival theme.
Firstly, that will include survival skills. I really need to read up and learn about this. Not forgetting my dear sister who was in Girl Guides - please teach your nephews how to tie knots etc! I was in NCC for six years, so I guess I do have some knowledge in this area too. And of course the daddy who did his National Service! Jiale is already attending swimming lessons, i.e. learning how to survive in the water.
That brings me to my second point - safety. Learn how to swim so that he will be safer in the water. I discourage the use of floating devices cos I think they give the child a false sense of security, i.e. he thinks he can float but he doesn't know it's the devices keeping him afloat. The coach does use floats during lessons to let Jiale practise kicking etc, but other than that I don't put floats on Jiale when we go to the pool. Anyway water safety is not the only thing, I shall definitely bear safety in mind when I consider our homelearning themes.
Also related is health. Can't survive for long if body is not healthy. Thus our outings will be mostly outdoors &/or sports. Natural breeze vs air-conditioning. A healthy mind is the bonus : )
Last but not least is interest. Interest is how to keep his curiosity and desire to learn alive (pun intended :p). If he does not show any particular interest in any topics, we shall just go without and declare a holiday. At the moment though, he's too fast for me to keep up!
Firstly, that will include survival skills. I really need to read up and learn about this. Not forgetting my dear sister who was in Girl Guides - please teach your nephews how to tie knots etc! I was in NCC for six years, so I guess I do have some knowledge in this area too. And of course the daddy who did his National Service! Jiale is already attending swimming lessons, i.e. learning how to survive in the water.
That brings me to my second point - safety. Learn how to swim so that he will be safer in the water. I discourage the use of floating devices cos I think they give the child a false sense of security, i.e. he thinks he can float but he doesn't know it's the devices keeping him afloat. The coach does use floats during lessons to let Jiale practise kicking etc, but other than that I don't put floats on Jiale when we go to the pool. Anyway water safety is not the only thing, I shall definitely bear safety in mind when I consider our homelearning themes.
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| Learning to read safety signs |
Last but not least is interest. Interest is how to keep his curiosity and desire to learn alive (pun intended :p). If he does not show any particular interest in any topics, we shall just go without and declare a holiday. At the moment though, he's too fast for me to keep up!
Friday, July 20, 2012
赏识你的孩子
By 周弘
好书!
I shall do a short short summary of the book since it's a gift from a friend (thanks, Diana!), it's a Chinese book (i.e. many people can't finish the book), and it's such a good book! Short short because I feel that the true essence can only be truly understood when you read the book in full, as every experience and thought which the author shared will contribute to the whole picture and what we take away. So, short short just for you to get a feel of whether you agree with what the author says, and to entice you to read the book!
The author's daughter was hearing-impaired from birth and lost her hearing completely at 1.5 years old. But after his initial despair, the author did not give up on her. He tried very hard to help her catch up with the 'normal' kids. When she was 7 years old, he chanced upon a book 幼儿才能开发 by a Japanese psychologist and he was very touched by this paragraph:
Might be hard for some parents to accept what this author suggests, as the results might not be evident immediately. I know, cos often I have to bite my lips to stop myself from 'overloading' Jiale too fast too soon. But then, instant gratification might not last long either. 小时了了，大未必佳！Best way to describe it - 不要把苗助长。
Oh ya, the daughter skipped two grades in primary school, got her degree at 16, got her masters at early 20s, accepted by Columbia U and Boston U to do her doctorate, with numerous awards along the way.
One thing though, while I like the book a lot, I am always sceptical about China-Chinese books.. Because most of the authors only have one child! Not that parents with one child are less competent in parenting in any way, but when it's a culture thing to be a one-child family, I believe it affects their parenting in many ways. Two parents, four grandparents, that's six adults for every child!
[Just to be bo liao, some quick math here: my two sons have five cousins on my hubby's side, so they have 2 divide by 7 of paternal grandparents. One cousin on my side, so they have 2 divide by 3 of maternal grandparents. Two parents divide by the two of them, so that's 1 parent each. So in total, they have 2/7 + 2/3 + 1 = 1 20/21 of adults for each of them.. Less than two!! See what I mean about the culture??!]
Verdict: Yes, I definitely recommend it! By the way, it's quite easy reading, don't worry : )
好书!
I shall do a short short summary of the book since it's a gift from a friend (thanks, Diana!), it's a Chinese book (i.e. many people can't finish the book), and it's such a good book! Short short because I feel that the true essence can only be truly understood when you read the book in full, as every experience and thought which the author shared will contribute to the whole picture and what we take away. So, short short just for you to get a feel of whether you agree with what the author says, and to entice you to read the book!
The author's daughter was hearing-impaired from birth and lost her hearing completely at 1.5 years old. But after his initial despair, the author did not give up on her. He tried very hard to help her catch up with the 'normal' kids. When she was 7 years old, he chanced upon a book 幼儿才能开发 by a Japanese psychologist and he was very touched by this paragraph:
The psychologist went on to conclude that it was the parents who murdered the bud of a child's potential. The author then realised that when there were problems with a child's learning, the parents should bear the most responsibility. He advocates:There is a huge potential in every child, every child is a genius, despite the parents' unlimited loving ravaging, some children still become geniuses.
- Tell the child that 60 marks is sufficient. This is to preserve his natural curiosity and desire to learn, instead of burying them under the never-ending pursuit of marks.
- Make the child feel that he is already a genius.
- Success leads to motivation and effort, not the only way round.
- Parents should be the ones to re-charge the child. The child should always feel that his parents are his source of support.
Might be hard for some parents to accept what this author suggests, as the results might not be evident immediately. I know, cos often I have to bite my lips to stop myself from 'overloading' Jiale too fast too soon. But then, instant gratification might not last long either. 小时了了，大未必佳！Best way to describe it - 不要把苗助长。
Oh ya, the daughter skipped two grades in primary school, got her degree at 16, got her masters at early 20s, accepted by Columbia U and Boston U to do her doctorate, with numerous awards along the way.
One thing though, while I like the book a lot, I am always sceptical about China-Chinese books.. Because most of the authors only have one child! Not that parents with one child are less competent in parenting in any way, but when it's a culture thing to be a one-child family, I believe it affects their parenting in many ways. Two parents, four grandparents, that's six adults for every child!
[Just to be bo liao, some quick math here: my two sons have five cousins on my hubby's side, so they have 2 divide by 7 of paternal grandparents. One cousin on my side, so they have 2 divide by 3 of maternal grandparents. Two parents divide by the two of them, so that's 1 parent each. So in total, they have 2/7 + 2/3 + 1 = 1 20/21 of adults for each of them.. Less than two!! See what I mean about the culture??!]
Verdict: Yes, I definitely recommend it! By the way, it's quite easy reading, don't worry : )
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Elephant Playground at Pasir Ris Park
The playground is located in the Hometeam NS chalets area. It's open to public, so we took cab almost right to the playground. It was quite deserted, only one chalet was occupied I think, and it was very quiet and peaceful. I guess not many kids come to this playground, so the place was quite clean. But the sand was rather coarse.
Yes we spent more than an hour at this simple playground. Jiale just kept going up and down the slides, and I was even more amazed that Didi could quietly play with sand for soooooo long. Mummy? I had a relaxing time playing on the swing : ) In the end I had to make them leave because the mosquitoes came out in full force after the drizzle.
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| Two slides, two swings |
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| The slides were rough, ouch! |
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| But it was no problem for Jiale's butt |
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| Doesn't the drop look scary..??? |
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| Taking shelter from the drizzle |
Monday, July 16, 2012
Slowing Down for the Children
I realised that Jiale enjoys himself more when he is given sufficient time to slowly explore, to get the feel of the place whenever we go to a new place. But with our tight schedules (can only go out after their naps, traveling time, need to rush back for dinner & bedtime) and my Type A personality, it often means he hardly had time to get used to the place before we had to move on.
Example of my ideal itinerary: since we are going to Woodlands, we should go to the old playgrounds at Woodlands, the sheltered outdoor playground and wet playground at Causeway Point, and Woodlands Waterfront. So far away, takes so long traveling time (or spend so much money on cab fare), we should whack everything mah! And when we are at the playgrounds, we should go through everything one round quickly first, in case the boys get tired/sian or it rains or no more time. Then if still got time, can let the boys slowly play.
But Jiale would not be happy. (Didi is still too young to mind.) Even when the playground was very simple, not much to play, few/no other children around to play together, he would be unwilling to leave. So far, I have managed to get him to cooperate by enticing him with something else (ok ok, bribe la).. But I knew what the problem was...
I do believe that children need a slower pace of life. They need more time to digest things. Not that they are slower as in stupid, just that things are newer and more interesting to them than to us cynical lao kok koks. For instance I usually only focus on the main characters in a scene, but I realised that Jiale is able to tell me about the other peripheral things going on in that same scene - he notices and remembers many more things than I do! The recent Eric Carle Treasury puppetry show was too slow for me, but Jiale was totally captivated throughout. I think that's the way it should be - if it's not too boring for adults, it's probably too fast for young children.
So I have decided to do it their way instead of my way. I am going to takemany a deep breath and restrain my task-oriented inner self even if it kills me. From now on, the rule is this - I am only in charge of bringing them to the destination. I shall have zero itinerary in mind (but I still need to be firm about what time to go home lah). If they want to hang around the same old rundown playground and explore that one corner for two hours, I wait (nicely and patiently, no mummy tantrums :p)
Today we are going to Pasir Ris Park. Such a big park, so many nice playgrounds. Hmm. Shall update again.
Example of my ideal itinerary: since we are going to Woodlands, we should go to the old playgrounds at Woodlands, the sheltered outdoor playground and wet playground at Causeway Point, and Woodlands Waterfront. So far away, takes so long traveling time (or spend so much money on cab fare), we should whack everything mah! And when we are at the playgrounds, we should go through everything one round quickly first, in case the boys get tired/sian or it rains or no more time. Then if still got time, can let the boys slowly play.
But Jiale would not be happy. (Didi is still too young to mind.) Even when the playground was very simple, not much to play, few/no other children around to play together, he would be unwilling to leave. So far, I have managed to get him to cooperate by enticing him with something else (ok ok, bribe la).. But I knew what the problem was...
I do believe that children need a slower pace of life. They need more time to digest things. Not that they are slower as in stupid, just that things are newer and more interesting to them than to us cynical lao kok koks. For instance I usually only focus on the main characters in a scene, but I realised that Jiale is able to tell me about the other peripheral things going on in that same scene - he notices and remembers many more things than I do! The recent Eric Carle Treasury puppetry show was too slow for me, but Jiale was totally captivated throughout. I think that's the way it should be - if it's not too boring for adults, it's probably too fast for young children.
So I have decided to do it their way instead of my way. I am going to take
Today we are going to Pasir Ris Park. Such a big park, so many nice playgrounds. Hmm. Shall update again.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
To Share Or Not To Share?
At Royce Kids' Gym (Liang Court) a few days ago, Jiale was playing with two toy vehicles when another boy tried to take one away. Jiale was not happy about it and refused to let go of the toy. In that split second, I had to decide what to do/say.
I chose to keep quiet.
Though my instinct was to tell him to share, the logical side of me asked, why did he have to give up something just because some random stranger wanted the same thing? It was not easy to keep quiet, while the other mummy was going, 'share, (her son's name), share'... I felt like a bad mummy..
OK, to tell the truth, I felt like everyone around us must be thinking I was a bad mummy who did not teach my child to share. Actually, once it dawned on me why I felt uncomfortable about the situation (others' perceptions), it was clear to me what I should do - I shall not help my child to retain his possession (albeit temporary), and neither will I help someone else to take it away from him.
After the incident, I explained to Jiale that he did not have to give up the toy if someone tried to snatch it from him, but if he moved away from the toy or stopped playing with it, it would be fair game to anyone since it was a playground. I also limited the number of toys he could claim to be 'his' at any point in time (maximum two). Suggested that if the other party asked him politely, he could consider sharing the toy, but the choice would be his.
At the same time, if we were at a playdate, I might or might not tell him to share the toy. See, even when I am friends with the other mummy, he might not be friends with his playmate.. or at least, not yet. So to him, the other kid is just a random stranger whose mummy his mummy decides to meet up with...
I do hope that Jiale will be willing to share his things with his friends. But I think he needs to learn the concept of friendship first. And I believe that comes as he gets older. More than just having fun when he is playing with the other kid, he feels for him and does not want him to be upset.. I think that's when there is an emotional bond and he truly sees the playmate as a friend. And if he still does not want to share then.. well, I shall worry about that when the time comes!
Eventually, he should be gracious and polite and give in even if some unreasonable brute tries to take his things lah. But that's a problem for another day :p
Sidetrack a bit, actually I believe that many problems are problems only because of the timing. One example is the academic expectations we have toward children. Teaching a 3-year-old to write will definitely be more stressful than teaching a 5-year-old who has the necessary motor skills and muscle development. Disputes over toys are common among 3-year-olds but not so among 7-year-olds. At Jiale's grand old age of 32 months now, I would rather he practise being assertive. To a toddler, assertively retaining possession of his toy is more intuitive than generously sharing. But even more importantly, I do not wish him to feel 'abandoned' or 'betrayed' by his own mother - 'why mummy helps the other boy but not me?' Sharing is good but I don't think he can understand now. No doubt in future I will need to be the devil's advocate at some point, but hopefully he is more mature and able + willing to understand then.
I chose to keep quiet.
Though my instinct was to tell him to share, the logical side of me asked, why did he have to give up something just because some random stranger wanted the same thing? It was not easy to keep quiet, while the other mummy was going, 'share, (her son's name), share'... I felt like a bad mummy..
OK, to tell the truth, I felt like everyone around us must be thinking I was a bad mummy who did not teach my child to share. Actually, once it dawned on me why I felt uncomfortable about the situation (others' perceptions), it was clear to me what I should do - I shall not help my child to retain his possession (albeit temporary), and neither will I help someone else to take it away from him.
After the incident, I explained to Jiale that he did not have to give up the toy if someone tried to snatch it from him, but if he moved away from the toy or stopped playing with it, it would be fair game to anyone since it was a playground. I also limited the number of toys he could claim to be 'his' at any point in time (maximum two). Suggested that if the other party asked him politely, he could consider sharing the toy, but the choice would be his.
At the same time, if we were at a playdate, I might or might not tell him to share the toy. See, even when I am friends with the other mummy, he might not be friends with his playmate.. or at least, not yet. So to him, the other kid is just a random stranger whose mummy his mummy decides to meet up with...
I do hope that Jiale will be willing to share his things with his friends. But I think he needs to learn the concept of friendship first. And I believe that comes as he gets older. More than just having fun when he is playing with the other kid, he feels for him and does not want him to be upset.. I think that's when there is an emotional bond and he truly sees the playmate as a friend. And if he still does not want to share then.. well, I shall worry about that when the time comes!
Eventually, he should be gracious and polite and give in even if some unreasonable brute tries to take his things lah. But that's a problem for another day :p
Sidetrack a bit, actually I believe that many problems are problems only because of the timing. One example is the academic expectations we have toward children. Teaching a 3-year-old to write will definitely be more stressful than teaching a 5-year-old who has the necessary motor skills and muscle development. Disputes over toys are common among 3-year-olds but not so among 7-year-olds. At Jiale's grand old age of 32 months now, I would rather he practise being assertive. To a toddler, assertively retaining possession of his toy is more intuitive than generously sharing. But even more importantly, I do not wish him to feel 'abandoned' or 'betrayed' by his own mother - 'why mummy helps the other boy but not me?' Sharing is good but I don't think he can understand now. No doubt in future I will need to be the devil's advocate at some point, but hopefully he is more mature and able + willing to understand then.
My Voice
Read this article which another blogger mum shared - Four Steps to Finding Your Ideal Writing Voice.
It struck a chord with me as I have been thinking about this topic. As I have the privilege of being in the Singapore Mom Bloggers group (LIKE us!), I have been exposed to many many blogs written by local mothers. And I am impressed by many of them - the blog looks good, the posts are well-written and often informative. From what I know, quite a few of the mummies make money from their blogs too (advertorials, reviews, free trials etc).
Was I tempted? Of course! I seriously considered revamping my blog and writing in a way which might be more attractive to readers, especially random ones, strangers who do not know me in real life. It will be a good way to earn some bucks as I can do it from home with very flexi hours (i.e. any time I like!).
[Sidetrack here a bit. You might not know that the blog host provides very clear statistics of readership. I can see how many people read each of my posts. I did not even have to do anything, the statistics just appear on their own. But I can't see who read lah, so don't worry if you prefer to be a quietstalker supporter. Urmm, maybe it's possible to see who read, but I have not figured it out and neither have/will I expend much effort to do so.]
So, statistics don't lie. I am aware that not that many people read my blog even though I post the links on my FB. I know that most of my readers are my real-life friends or at least we are acquainted in some way. And guess what, I even know why my blog is not that popular. Because.... I rant a lot lah. I write a lot about the nitty gritty things in my life, who would be bothered to read??
But then, if I 'commercialise' my blog, it would not be an outlet for me anymore. I would have to curb myself, watch what I write, make sure everything is accurate (vs hearsay or my opinion), be politically and religiously correct, etc. So I have decided to continue my current style!
By the way, I personally enjoy reading about daily grinds and details, as the posts then feel more real to me. But I do not know of many such blogs.. please let me know if you know of such a blog! Thank you!
It struck a chord with me as I have been thinking about this topic. As I have the privilege of being in the Singapore Mom Bloggers group (LIKE us!), I have been exposed to many many blogs written by local mothers. And I am impressed by many of them - the blog looks good, the posts are well-written and often informative. From what I know, quite a few of the mummies make money from their blogs too (advertorials, reviews, free trials etc).
Was I tempted? Of course! I seriously considered revamping my blog and writing in a way which might be more attractive to readers, especially random ones, strangers who do not know me in real life. It will be a good way to earn some bucks as I can do it from home with very flexi hours (i.e. any time I like!).
[Sidetrack here a bit. You might not know that the blog host provides very clear statistics of readership. I can see how many people read each of my posts. I did not even have to do anything, the statistics just appear on their own. But I can't see who read lah, so don't worry if you prefer to be a quiet
So, statistics don't lie. I am aware that not that many people read my blog even though I post the links on my FB. I know that most of my readers are my real-life friends or at least we are acquainted in some way. And guess what, I even know why my blog is not that popular. Because.... I rant a lot lah. I write a lot about the nitty gritty things in my life, who would be bothered to read??
But then, if I 'commercialise' my blog, it would not be an outlet for me anymore. I would have to curb myself, watch what I write, make sure everything is accurate (vs hearsay or my opinion), be politically and religiously correct, etc. So I have decided to continue my current style!
- I can write about the nitty gritty small little miniscular things in my life.
- I can rant and complanin and grumble and throw tantrums here.
- I can write singlish or chinese or hanyu pinyin. I can choose not to use proper grammar.
- I can repeat things I heard without authenticating them. E.g. I heard from the donor of the tadpoles that frogs mate at 3 years old. Thought of checking this before writing it in my blog, but I made a conscious decision not to :p
- I can ignore it when the photos refuse to move to the centre of the page! (argh)
By the way, I personally enjoy reading about daily grinds and details, as the posts then feel more real to me. But I do not know of many such blogs.. please let me know if you know of such a blog! Thank you!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Make Yourself Happy Part 2
I feel very happy with the recent change to my time off and I have made another change!
Previously I would cook dinner occasionally. As Hubby only reaches home around 8.30pm on most days, that means I had to do the usual routine of settling the boys to sleep, before I started cooking dinner for Hubby and myself. It was usually 9.30pm by the time we finished eating, and 10pm when I finished washing up (dishes, sink, stove, maybe gotta mop floor too). I was not happy. Cooking dinner made me feel stressed and grouchy. I felt that it was a meaningless activity as I was not a good cook anyway and what I cooked was definitely not as tasty as what we could buy.
So, I thought about it and concluded I would feel happier if it could be more meaningful. I told Hubby that I would cook dinner on the days that he could reach home by 7pm. In this way, we can eat dinner together with the boys. I bathe the boys before he comes back and prepare the ingredients in advance too, so when he reaches home, I just need to cook. Though I do not expect Hubby to help out with the boys' bedtime routine after dinner, at least I can finish all the housework by 9pm. Urmm, the food is still not that fantastic lah, but cooking for the family and eating as a family make me feel my efforts are more worthwhile.
[I would like to clarify that I am not making life difficult for Hubby to expect him to reach home by 7pm once in a blue moon. No doubt he has never-ending work, but he is able to go off by 6pm+ if necessary. He also went off at 6pm+ recently when his work associate gave him a dinner treat :p]
Some friends have commented that I am very 'fast hand fast leg' when I want to do something. It's because I do not like to sit around and wait for solutions to fall from the skies. When I have a problem, I think think think about how to solve it and then execute it. Why sit around and continue to be unhappy? Especially when it's a problem that can be solved?
I also remember a friend posting on FB something along the line of 'people who post a lot on FB are less happy'. I disagreed then and I still disagree now. I think posting on FB is an active way of getting advice, comfort, suggestions, encouragement, affirmation, etc. When I have a question/problem, I ask. When I am unhappy about something, online friends give me a virtual hug &/or pat on the back. Or when they share their own experiences, I realise I am not the only one in such a situation. In addition to my personal experiences, in my professional opinion (pyschology & social work trained) I also say people who keep things to themselves are likely to be more unhappy :p
Can I give you a challenge? Think of one thing which you are currently unhappy about, and set out to solve the problem and make yourself happy! All the best!
Previously I would cook dinner occasionally. As Hubby only reaches home around 8.30pm on most days, that means I had to do the usual routine of settling the boys to sleep, before I started cooking dinner for Hubby and myself. It was usually 9.30pm by the time we finished eating, and 10pm when I finished washing up (dishes, sink, stove, maybe gotta mop floor too). I was not happy. Cooking dinner made me feel stressed and grouchy. I felt that it was a meaningless activity as I was not a good cook anyway and what I cooked was definitely not as tasty as what we could buy.
So, I thought about it and concluded I would feel happier if it could be more meaningful. I told Hubby that I would cook dinner on the days that he could reach home by 7pm. In this way, we can eat dinner together with the boys. I bathe the boys before he comes back and prepare the ingredients in advance too, so when he reaches home, I just need to cook. Though I do not expect Hubby to help out with the boys' bedtime routine after dinner, at least I can finish all the housework by 9pm. Urmm, the food is still not that fantastic lah, but cooking for the family and eating as a family make me feel my efforts are more worthwhile.
[I would like to clarify that I am not making life difficult for Hubby to expect him to reach home by 7pm once in a blue moon. No doubt he has never-ending work, but he is able to go off by 6pm+ if necessary. He also went off at 6pm+ recently when his work associate gave him a dinner treat :p]
Some friends have commented that I am very 'fast hand fast leg' when I want to do something. It's because I do not like to sit around and wait for solutions to fall from the skies. When I have a problem, I think think think about how to solve it and then execute it. Why sit around and continue to be unhappy? Especially when it's a problem that can be solved?
I also remember a friend posting on FB something along the line of 'people who post a lot on FB are less happy'. I disagreed then and I still disagree now. I think posting on FB is an active way of getting advice, comfort, suggestions, encouragement, affirmation, etc. When I have a question/problem, I ask. When I am unhappy about something, online friends give me a virtual hug &/or pat on the back. Or when they share their own experiences, I realise I am not the only one in such a situation. In addition to my personal experiences, in my professional opinion (pyschology & social work trained) I also say people who keep things to themselves are likely to be more unhappy :p
Can I give you a challenge? Think of one thing which you are currently unhappy about, and set out to solve the problem and make yourself happy! All the best!
Seal Playground at Dakota Crescent
Located near Blk10 Dakota Crescent. I alighted at the bus along Old Airport Road in front of Blk 22 and saw the playground easily.
The Seal playground seemed to be pretty deserted in a quiet neighbourhood and the structure was not in very good condition either. Nothing really problematic, just... old.. Two of the three tyre swings were already spoilt. I don't think it's really worth visiting (except for the tyre swing, maybe!) but it was ok for me since I stay quite near. BUT I am quite sure this playground will be demolished soon due to its condition, so if you are keen to go, do it soon!
P.S. And please take note of the blue beam!
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| Just like parents & grandparents, a playground seems to be missing something without kids around.. |
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| Happily running around! |
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| I think he has been to enough old playgrounds to learn that the slides are too rough for the butt! Safer to walk down! |
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| Old-style tyre swing. He has never played this before but I guess it's a child's instinct to know what to do at a playground |
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| Even Didi is fascinated |
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| 'Didi, are you coming up?' |
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| I thought this heritage journey was for the boys. I hardly played at playgrounds when I was a child, so I didn't feel especially nostalgic.. Until I went up this spiral staircase.. Got a flashback of the playground I used to play at.. |
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| Jiale was enjoying himself at the playground.. But this slanted beam gave me too many heart attacks. Jiale bumped his head on it as he came down the steps and took off running. And then too many near-misses after that, so I decided to leave. |
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| New playground at Jln Dua. The traditional playground that used to be here was demolished not long ago. |
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| The boys had fun here too! : ) |
The Seal playground seemed to be pretty deserted in a quiet neighbourhood and the structure was not in very good condition either. Nothing really problematic, just... old.. Two of the three tyre swings were already spoilt. I don't think it's really worth visiting (except for the tyre swing, maybe!) but it was ok for me since I stay quite near. BUT I am quite sure this playground will be demolished soon due to its condition, so if you are keen to go, do it soon!
P.S. And please take note of the blue beam!
Thematic Learning (Weather)
Recently Jiale has been asking more questions about things around him. Hmm, or maybe not really ask questions la, given his limited verbal skills :p More like he seems to take notice of more things around him, e.g. he points to the clouds and goes '?' (Don't ask me how I know it's a '?' cos I just know la.) He points to the rain and says '雨' (rain). I wonder if he feels perplexed about what these are and how they come about. Can't do for a 2-year-old to feel perplexed! Haha. So I have started to be more systematic in our homelearning activities, and thematic learning seems to work best for us now.
I read up on thematic learning and it seems that the way it is usually done is to choose a theme and then incorporate many subjects into the learning activities. E.g. for a theme 'animals', the teacher (parent) will read books on animals, fiction for literature, non-fiction for science, maybe do geography too by learning about which parts of the world the animals live/originate, do craft work like a cat hand puppet, do math by counting number of bears, activity sheets like matching baby animals to their parents, field trip to the zoo, etc.
Mine is a very simplified version of this. I am not keen on parent-led craft work and activity sheets, at least not for now. Perhaps when Jiale is older, he might be more interested. Together with what I read about the classical method, I concentrate mainly on reading relevant books with Jiale.
Illustration using our recent topic on the weather:
Borrowed some of the books from library. I do a catalogue search for the topic I have in mind. If there are many related books, I go to the library (while Jiale is in school) to browse and choose which ones are more suitable. If there are limited books, I reserve the book and I can just collect it from the library I want. I might also buy the book(s) if I think it's worthwhile, such as The Little Cloud by Eric Carle, since his books are generally good. The other books are what we already have at home, and of course the trusty talking encyclopaedia. For this topic, we are using 2 books - Sky & Earth and Nature.
This is a new learning corner I set up. Had thought of getting a front-facing bookshelf but did not want to take up excess wall space, as these bookshelves are usually quite high. So in the end, I just 3M-ed an IKEA wall shelf to the floor. In this corner, I put the books we read for the previous topics (Firefighter & Ballet) and the current one. It is a place where we tend to hang out often, as it is near the kitchen and somehow we often end up sitting around the area. There used to be a small table here but I moved it away. There is actually available space at the balcony but that's where Jiale usually hangs out alone with his trains and books. Somehow when I am free, we won't be there. So I decided to leave his 'private' space alone instead of 'forcing' my way in.
Actually the topic is a bit vague la. He has also been point point pointing to the sun so I just wanted to put all these 'things in the sky' into one topic. So our 'Weather' actually includes clouds, rain, wind, water cycle, sun, and day & night. (I am quite sure if he gets to see the moon more often, he would be point point pointing at it too.)
Shown here is how I tried to explain day & night to him, with a simple round light (from Daiso) and a globe. At his grand old age of 31 months, I am not sure how much he understands this round thing is supposed to represent the ground he is standing on. And I don't want to use DVDs/Youtube as far as possible. So we keep referring to the books where it's illustrated that the people are standing on the Earth, which looks the same as this globe.... and err, why the round light is the sun..? Haha, never mind, just explain a bit, can do this topic again when he's older.
Thomas the Tank Engine is Jiale's favourite character, and it happens that one of his books sees Thomas and Percy going from day to night and back to day again. Just right! I used blu-tac to attach the train figurines to the globe so that Jiale could see his trains being cast in shadow (night) and in 'daylight' as they turn away from and toward the light. I feel pretty ingenious! *pat on the back*
Simple experiment to show him the water cycle. Some soil and water in a glass container. Left it in the corridor for an afternoon. Pointed out to him the water droplets that gathered on the underside of the lid. Told him that the water droplets that fell down were the same as rain.. Urmm, I tried la :p
Simple vocabulary. Googled for some images, printed them out, laminated, pasted velcro on the back. Not forgetting Chinese words too.
Cut out the strokes of the Chinese words from cardboard and attached magnets on the back. Wrote the word on the whiteboard and Jiale just had to put the correct stroke accordingly. For the four 'dian3' in the word '雨' I used our 'water droplets' : )
Also referred to this book to show Jiale how the Chinese words came about. This will also help him to remember the words more easily.
I will not intentionally do a field trip if I do not have a good place in mind. Science Centre is probably too chim for Jiale as of now. Since I try to bring the boys for a nature walk every week, I chose a place where he could easily see a large body of water and the sky, i.e. Changi Beach. It was a very sunny day with huge white clouds. I emphasized to him that inside the clouds was water. When the water falls, we call it rain.
OK, that about sums it up for our thematic-based homelearning. I shall blog about our future topics provided I don't feel too lazy about it :p
(this is the most tedious post I have done so far! *tired*)
I read up on thematic learning and it seems that the way it is usually done is to choose a theme and then incorporate many subjects into the learning activities. E.g. for a theme 'animals', the teacher (parent) will read books on animals, fiction for literature, non-fiction for science, maybe do geography too by learning about which parts of the world the animals live/originate, do craft work like a cat hand puppet, do math by counting number of bears, activity sheets like matching baby animals to their parents, field trip to the zoo, etc.
Mine is a very simplified version of this. I am not keen on parent-led craft work and activity sheets, at least not for now. Perhaps when Jiale is older, he might be more interested. Together with what I read about the classical method, I concentrate mainly on reading relevant books with Jiale.
Illustration using our recent topic on the weather:
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| Water droplets in the clouds |
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| Fall down as rain |
Borrowed some of the books from library. I do a catalogue search for the topic I have in mind. If there are many related books, I go to the library (while Jiale is in school) to browse and choose which ones are more suitable. If there are limited books, I reserve the book and I can just collect it from the library I want. I might also buy the book(s) if I think it's worthwhile, such as The Little Cloud by Eric Carle, since his books are generally good. The other books are what we already have at home, and of course the trusty talking encyclopaedia. For this topic, we are using 2 books - Sky & Earth and Nature.
This is a new learning corner I set up. Had thought of getting a front-facing bookshelf but did not want to take up excess wall space, as these bookshelves are usually quite high. So in the end, I just 3M-ed an IKEA wall shelf to the floor. In this corner, I put the books we read for the previous topics (Firefighter & Ballet) and the current one. It is a place where we tend to hang out often, as it is near the kitchen and somehow we often end up sitting around the area. There used to be a small table here but I moved it away. There is actually available space at the balcony but that's where Jiale usually hangs out alone with his trains and books. Somehow when I am free, we won't be there. So I decided to leave his 'private' space alone instead of 'forcing' my way in.
 |
| Learning corner |
Actually the topic is a bit vague la. He has also been point point pointing to the sun so I just wanted to put all these 'things in the sky' into one topic. So our 'Weather' actually includes clouds, rain, wind, water cycle, sun, and day & night. (I am quite sure if he gets to see the moon more often, he would be point point pointing at it too.)
Shown here is how I tried to explain day & night to him, with a simple round light (from Daiso) and a globe. At his grand old age of 31 months, I am not sure how much he understands this round thing is supposed to represent the ground he is standing on. And I don't want to use DVDs/Youtube as far as possible. So we keep referring to the books where it's illustrated that the people are standing on the Earth, which looks the same as this globe.... and err, why the round light is the sun..? Haha, never mind, just explain a bit, can do this topic again when he's older.
 | |
| Earth and the Sun :p |
Simple experiment to show him the water cycle. Some soil and water in a glass container. Left it in the corridor for an afternoon. Pointed out to him the water droplets that gathered on the underside of the lid. Told him that the water droplets that fell down were the same as rain.. Urmm, I tried la :p
Also referred to this book to show Jiale how the Chinese words came about. This will also help him to remember the words more easily.
I will not intentionally do a field trip if I do not have a good place in mind. Science Centre is probably too chim for Jiale as of now. Since I try to bring the boys for a nature walk every week, I chose a place where he could easily see a large body of water and the sky, i.e. Changi Beach. It was a very sunny day with huge white clouds. I emphasized to him that inside the clouds was water. When the water falls, we call it rain.
OK, that about sums it up for our thematic-based homelearning. I shall blog about our future topics provided I don't feel too lazy about it :p
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| Moving the water droplets around like the water cycle |
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| Even got lightning ok! |
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| Categorization |
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| Having fun in his rain gear! |
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
How to Be A Supermom
Read a post by a fellow blogger mum and got inspired to write this post. I don't think I am really a supermom lah, though I do feel like one at times (doesn't every mom??). But I get such compliments/admirations quite often.. like at least once a day :p So I shall not be shy and shall share how I DO IT.
According to the categories mentioned in the above blog, I seem to be a Super Structured Mom. Except for the last bit.. cos I definitely do not wish to outsource my children's education as long as I stillhave a last breath can manage. Then again, maybe I am a Super Stressful Mom.. no idea whether people around me feel stressed by me, but I am quite driven.. and *surprise!* I am actually quite kiasu too. Just that my beliefs of how to achieve optimum performance in my children differ from most people. OK, here goes.
Routine
I don't try to follow the clock, but I have in place a fixed sequence of events. For example, at lunchtime, Jiale knows that after he eats lunch, he is allowed a few minutes to play (about 5 minutes) before he has to go into his room for nap. When we reach home in the evening, he knows that after he finishes his milk, it is time for a bath, then dinner, then bedtime stories, then brush teeth, then bedtime.
Sleep training
I think I would be dead if I did not let the boys go through sleep training. I think this every time I say 'good night' to them and close the bedroom door.
Just do it
I remember the first time I brought Jiale out on my own. Other than it being the first time (which was scary enough!), I had not much experience with the baby carrier (MIM sarong sling). Though I intended to take a cab, I was very nervous and almost didn't make it out of the door. Hard to imagine, now that I have no problems going out with two boys on my own! The first time is always the most unnerving. Even as recent as a few weeks ago, the first time I brought them hiking (MacRitchie Reservoir), I felt quite unsure about whether we would make it. But we survived, and I am very happy we can have more such adventures together : )
That's it. My 3 secrets of being a supermom. Try it, you can be a supermom too! : )
[By the way, in case you are curious, my personal definition of Supermom is one who takes care of the household and the children without a domestic helper/other caregivers such as the grandparents and without sending the children to school. (I consider daily classes as school, even if it's just for 2-3 hours.) So I already fail my own definition, since I have a part-time cleaner who comes for one morning a week, and Jiale is in school for one morning a week. And if this particular Supermom is a work-at-home-mom... WOW! She's a Supersupermom!]
According to the categories mentioned in the above blog, I seem to be a Super Structured Mom. Except for the last bit.. cos I definitely do not wish to outsource my children's education as long as I still
Routine
I don't try to follow the clock, but I have in place a fixed sequence of events. For example, at lunchtime, Jiale knows that after he eats lunch, he is allowed a few minutes to play (about 5 minutes) before he has to go into his room for nap. When we reach home in the evening, he knows that after he finishes his milk, it is time for a bath, then dinner, then bedtime stories, then brush teeth, then bedtime.
Sleep training
I think I would be dead if I did not let the boys go through sleep training. I think this every time I say 'good night' to them and close the bedroom door.
Just do it
I remember the first time I brought Jiale out on my own. Other than it being the first time (which was scary enough!), I had not much experience with the baby carrier (MIM sarong sling). Though I intended to take a cab, I was very nervous and almost didn't make it out of the door. Hard to imagine, now that I have no problems going out with two boys on my own! The first time is always the most unnerving. Even as recent as a few weeks ago, the first time I brought them hiking (MacRitchie Reservoir), I felt quite unsure about whether we would make it. But we survived, and I am very happy we can have more such adventures together : )
That's it. My 3 secrets of being a supermom. Try it, you can be a supermom too! : )
[By the way, in case you are curious, my personal definition of Supermom is one who takes care of the household and the children without a domestic helper/other caregivers such as the grandparents and without sending the children to school. (I consider daily classes as school, even if it's just for 2-3 hours.) So I already fail my own definition, since I have a part-time cleaner who comes for one morning a week, and Jiale is in school for one morning a week. And if this particular Supermom is a work-at-home-mom... WOW! She's a Supersupermom!]
Monday, July 9, 2012
The Brothers' Heritage Trail
Another blogger mummy wrote about heritage playgrounds recently, and as I am into outdoor play for the boys recently, I decided to bring the boys to visit these heritage playgrounds! I find it too boring to go to the playgrounds in my neighbourhood too often, so this 'mission' gives me a sense of purpose!
Other than having fun, I hope to create more unique memories for the boys.. I am pretty sure by the time they are my age, most of these playgrounds would not be around anymore.. Didi is still small now and he doesn't get to play much at these playgrounds, so I hope to bring the boys on another round when Didi is 2+.. and another round when my third child is 2+ (don't know when!!)....
Since I have never been to these playgrounds myself (or at least not that I can remember), I am trying to go to all the heritage playgrounds in the same area/estate in one afternoon, to look see look see first. But if the boys particularly enjoy any of the playgrounds, I will definitely bring them back again soon, no need to wait for Didi to be two years old! But for this first round, definitely need to be fast. As it is, at least one of the playgrounds which the family in the blog I am referring to has been demolished. They just went in Jan 2011, and in Apr 2012 they updated that the Jalan Tua playground has been replaced with a modern playground. Boo hoo : (
Other than having fun, I hope to create more unique memories for the boys.. I am pretty sure by the time they are my age, most of these playgrounds would not be around anymore.. Didi is still small now and he doesn't get to play much at these playgrounds, so I hope to bring the boys on another round when Didi is 2+.. and another round when my third child is 2+ (don't know when!!)....
Since I have never been to these playgrounds myself (or at least not that I can remember), I am trying to go to all the heritage playgrounds in the same area/estate in one afternoon, to look see look see first. But if the boys particularly enjoy any of the playgrounds, I will definitely bring them back again soon, no need to wait for Didi to be two years old! But for this first round, definitely need to be fast. As it is, at least one of the playgrounds which the family in the blog I am referring to has been demolished. They just went in Jan 2011, and in Apr 2012 they updated that the Jalan Tua playground has been replaced with a modern playground. Boo hoo : (
Dragon Playground @ Toa Payoh
Visited the famous Dragon at Blk 28 Lorong 6 Toa Payoh (but you have to enter the carpark via Lor 5). It was not very crowded despite being a Sunday afternoon.. it got me wondering.. We adults might feel nostalgic about such playgrounds, but which do the kids prefer, older 'traditional' playgrounds or the modern playgrounds? Hmm.
There were two children playing with a bedsheet and quilt at the playground, and Jiale had to crawl under the bedsheet in the tunnel... Haha.
While we were there, another family who appeared to have also come from 'afar' came (clue: they were not dressed very casually) :p
The sand and the structure were quite clean (by playgrounds' standard). The playground is located in front of an old block, two-roomed flats with long corridors on every floor, and with the sounds of boys playing soccer on an empty patch next to the playground, it did feel very nostalgic indeed.
There were two children playing with a bedsheet and quilt at the playground, and Jiale had to crawl under the bedsheet in the tunnel... Haha.
While we were there, another family who appeared to have also come from 'afar' came (clue: they were not dressed very casually) :p
The sand and the structure were quite clean (by playgrounds' standard). The playground is located in front of an old block, two-roomed flats with long corridors on every floor, and with the sounds of boys playing soccer on an empty patch next to the playground, it did feel very nostalgic indeed.
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| 'Such a big dragon, mummy!' |
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| Climbed up without hesitation |
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| Having fun! |
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| Can you spot Didi? |
A Frog's Life
Another mummy was giving away her tadpoles and I went all the way to Redhill to collect from her!
So excited, I wonder whether the tadpoles will be able to survive under my care :p
Seriously though, I'm quite scared.. Can't imagine handling FROGS! Eeeeee....
But it will definitely be interesting for Jiale to see the life cycle of a frog. By the way, did you know frogs only mate when they are 3 years old? Looooong journey ahead!
So excited, I wonder whether the tadpoles will be able to survive under my care :p
Seriously though, I'm quite scared.. Can't imagine handling FROGS! Eeeeee....
But it will definitely be interesting for Jiale to see the life cycle of a frog. By the way, did you know frogs only mate when they are 3 years old? Looooong journey ahead!
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| The tadpoles' family of origin |
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| We adopted five of them |
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Tiong Bahru Park
The train playground is the highlight of the park. But it's actually rather challenging for younger kids. For Jiale, though he can navigate the features safely if he wants to, he couldn't just run wild in the train. Nevertheless, the boys still enjoyed the big big sand play area very much!
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| Jiale's first love - train! |
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| The floor of the train carriages has gaping holes like this (it's a slide). |
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| Another hole which leads to a ladder. |
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| One of the features in the train. |
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| Many 'escape routes' from the train :p |
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| Old-fashioned merry-go-round. Mummy had a hard time turning it.. very heavy! |
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| 'Kidnappers' - the boys were the objects of adoration :p |
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| He laughed and laughed and laughed : ) |
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| A high structure in the middle of the park. No idea of its purpose, but Jiale found it good for climbing! |
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| The pond was not especially attractive.. but it did have many turtles! |
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| Sunbathing turtles |
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