I really wish my boys would eat everything too! But I think I have to wait long long... especially since they are actually not as picky an eater as their mummy...... :P I don't like to eat vegs, absolutely hate beansprouts, garlic, onion etc, have never tried common slimey stuff like sashimi or offal or oysters, and will never ever try exotic slimey stuff like escargots, and the list goes on and on..
OK, back to the book - it's about a Canadian mummy who moved to France for one year with her French hubby and two kids aged five and two. Her kids were picky eaters as in the elder girl refused to try new foods and only liked food like french fries and pizza, while the younger one used to eat everything but started imitating her sister when she got older (sounds just like my Jiale and Jiahe!!). On top of this, the full-time working mum often just cooked pizza or pasta for their meals as she was tired after a day's work, and it was common practice in North America to eat these foods regularly.
But when the family was in France, she realised that French kids had very different (and much healthier) dietary habits. One of the main points that's relevant to my situation is that instead of grazing (or frequent small meals that's recommended in many parenting books), the French culture was to give the children (actually, even the adults too) three main meals plus a big snack. So, the schedule would be like this: 7.30am for breakfast; 12.30pm for lunch; about 4.30pm for a big snack; 7.30pm for dinner. Though it means that the children sometimes have to go hungry between meals, it also means that they eat more and eat better at the proper mealtimes. The rationale is that it is ok for children to feel hungry at times, and it becomes a cycle - habit to eat more at mealtimes--> won't be that hungry between mealtimes. And because high-satiety foods are served at mealtimes, they feel satisfied for a long time (as opposed to snacks-type of foods).
[The no-snacking between meals was feasible because everybody, including childcare centres, grandparents, other parents, was doing it. It would not work if you were against snacking but the childcare teachers were feeding them!]
As for being willing to try new foods, according to the author, it's very much a cultural thing, i.e. everybody (all parents inclusive) serves their children very varied foods since young. And because everybody is doing it, the children sorta expect to be trying new foods.. they are used to it and all their peers are doing it too. The relevant point here is that researchers have found that children need to see the new food many times (can't remember but I think the book mentioned it's at least 7 times) and to taste the food at least 10 times before they might grow to like the food. If the child says he doesn't like the food the first couple of times it's served to him, we aren't supposed to believe him :p So, I have decided to be thick-skinned and just keep serving him all the stuff which he has indicated he does not like, haha! Given that I cook each dish at most once a week, it's gonna take us a looooooong time to cover each dish 10 times! (actually will be more than 10, cos he might not even taste it the first few times)
The last point which I shall include here, is about parents' priorities. The author compared North American and French mothers, and concluded that while both cultures loved their children very much (of course), the mothers' priorities were different. While the North Amercian mothers had no time to cook proper meals because they were busy ferrying the children around to their enrichment classes etc, the French mothers made it their priority to cook. Being less concerned about 'enriching' their children's brains, either by sending them to classes or engaging in learning activities or even playdates with them, they used the time to cook instead.
Gosh, that sounds familiar! I felt that I had no time to cook as I wanted to bring the boys for outdoor play etc, or to let them make a mess playing which meant I had to spend time cleaning up, or to sit with the boys for 'homelearning'.. But if instead I prioritize their meals, I do have a lot of time! This is my 3rd week of earnest attempts to cook properly (very tough because it's not just about time you know. It's that I am a lousy cook and it's killing many brain cells to cook properly!), and I do find that it's getting easier and taking less time. (In fact, I am contemplating making nice nice bento-decor lunches for the boys, hee hee.) The boys have also adjusted to seeing mummy
slog spend a long time at the kitchen counter washing, cutting, cooking. While they used to go crazy everytime I started cooking, suddenly feeling and proclaming they were starving to death (regardless of what time I cooked or how recent their snack was), they have become accustomed to waiting for their food (especially their lovely breakfasts! So happy to see the boys looking forward to my daily creations!).
I am considering following the French meal schedule, but I wonder how feasible that is. The good thing is I have almost 100% control over what time and what they eat since they are not in school yet. (The once-a-week playgroup does not include meals and though the teachers do give them simple snacks like crackers/fruits, I have been preparing snacks for the boys to bring to school since a couple of weeks ago.)
The boys' current eating schedule:
180ml of milk when they wake up around 7am --> Breakfast is served around 7.30am, latest by 8am --> After I finish washing up the breakfast mess and preparing the ingredients for lunch, I offer them food again, around 9.30am. This is usually a selection of foods like fruits, cheese sticks, biscuits, raisins,
Happy Munchies --> Depending on how much they eat, I will usually offer fruits around 11am. At this time I remind them that they will not be given any more food till lunchtime --> Lunch is served at 1pm --> If the boys fall asleep fast, they usually wake up around 4.30pm and I offer them a snack, usually fruits. If not, they have to wait for dinner, which is usually served one hour after they wake up from a late nap --> Milk after dinner, no more food allowed after dinner. (Sometimes exception is made for fruits)
So, they are having at least two snacks between breakfast and lunch, within 5 hours! Hmm, after I write it down, I think I should combine these two snacks into one mid-morning snack around 10am. But my main worry is Jiale not getting enough fruits (since he gets constipated and he doesn't eat vegs).. so I feel the need to keep offering fruits to him.. Actually, so far this has worked quite well for his constipation : ) If I don't serve fruits (i.e. a snack) between meals, how to get fruits into him? Since he and Jiahe both like fruits, they might eat even less for their main course if they know they will definitely get fruits right after the main course.. (even less??? omg omg) I shall ponder more on this.
It's not very hard to shift their lunchtime forward by half an hour to the French lunchtime of 12.30pm.. but... can they tahan not eating from 8am to 12.30pm?? And we don't have time for a mid-afternoon snack since the boys usually take quite long to settle down to nap and then they nap about two hours.. But then they also don't have dinner so late.... Hmm.. if I serve dinner at 7.30pm, can I still get them to bed by 9pm? (both for my mental health and for them to get enough sleep since their biological alarm clocks ring loudly by 7am every morning.. even when it's wet and gloomy and so dark I have no idea how they know it's 7am..!!)
This is mind-boggling and brain-cracking and very chim. I doubt a rocket scientist can solve this >.<
