Got to know a new friend recently and I think she's the closest to a tai-tai that I know - not working, both kids go to school from morning to afternoon, has a part-time cleaner, well-groomed.. She seems to be just a live-in helper away from being a tai-tai! I am really envious!
But when I really think about it, even if my hubby agrees to paying for the best preschools/childcare I can find for both my kids, I don't think I will be willing to be separated from them for so many hours everyday. As it is, I already can't bear to do so even for one out of two. After all, spending time with them is why I want to be a sahm.
Not to say all stay-at-home-mums need to keep their children with them the whole day. Some parents really believe that it's best for the children to go to school, and in that case, that will be the best option for them. Who's to say what's right and wrong, and who knows what is really good for the children? Though I do read a lot on parenting, I am sure my biased brain retains more information about what I prefer and want to know, and conveniently ignores/forgets what I do not wish to know :P
Furthermore, some mummies do get very stressed if they have to take care of the child(ren) single-handedly the whole day. And a stressed parent is definitely no good for the kid. Different people have different thresholds for stress and different needs for me-time (and different needs for sleep!)
BUT, the thing is, I know perfectly well I can cope perfectly well with two kids myself. I know I won't go crazy, no matter how much I like to complain :P Since I know I can manage, and my belief is young children should be with the mother, what reason do I have to send them to school??
At the same time, I do realise that couple time is important.. I know that a strong happy marriage is the basis for a strong happy family and happy children. The few hours spent away from the children while the parents go pak-tor probably brings more good than harm to the children.
I guess, the grass always seems greener on the other side.... Ideally, my hubby would encourage me to send the kids to school because he wants me to rest and because he wants to pamper me..... Then I would have the choice to say no.. (Now I also have choice lah, to continue to be a sahm or to go back to work. But going back to work is definitely out for the next few years at least, so that's not a proper choice ok.)
Or, we can hire a maid. Now we already have a part-time cleaner who comes for a few hours once a week, mostly for the heavy-duty work. But I still need to do quite a few things everyday - prepare the kids' meals, do the washing up, vacuum in the mornings, mop in the evenings, wash the sink every night, clean up the messes the boys make...
But I don't really like the idea of having an extra person staying with us.. We have three bedrooms and I want the kids to share a room anyway so there will be an extra bedroom once the kids are all out of cots.. But I want the room to be their playroom! Problem of land allocation, LOL. Move to another place just to have more bedrooms? Too far-fetched.. Quite impossible to get a place as big as our current flat on a single income.
Anyway it's still early days. Who knows whether my threshold can tahan three kids. We shall see : )
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