EMAs

I once posted this on my FB:

                                  'The true test of a marriage is the child-rearing years.'

It's an original saying from yours truly, and I was inspired then by the numerous challenges I was facing at home. Shall not dwell on past problems though.

A post on FB got me started on this post. It's so easy for the husband to fall into an extramarital affair because there is no denying that there are many many more things for the couple to quarrel about and be unhappy about once there are children.

Big topics like discipline, caregiving arrangements.
'Small' day-to-day things like both parties doing their share of the extra work generated by kids.

Examples of extra work:
When it is a dual income family without children, there is hardly anyone at home for most of the day, so the house remains clean. But in my case, I am a sahm with two children and we spend most of our time at home, and the house just miraculously becomes dirty! Yes, even if I mop the floor after the kids go to bed, it's dirty again the next morning!

Who to bathe the kids.. feed them.. change their dirty diapers... handle their tantrums.. The list goes on. And when there is work, there is potential to argue and be displeased. I do get upset when I feel that Hubby is not doing his fair share of the work.

Before we had kids, we had free time to do whatever we wanted.. movies.. nice meals.. exercise.. romantic with each other.. Now our 'free time' is controlled by the kids' naptimes & bedtimes (though I have recently been more relaxed with their naps so that we can have more fun as a family.), and our activites are mostly things that the kids will enjoy.

Conversely, with the other woman, there are no chores (since they do not live together and do not have children)... so, no need to argue... There are no worries about the children's likes & routines.. so they can do anything they like.. romantic stuff.. relaxing stuff...

Wow.. I wish I were the other woman... LOL