Time Out, Again

It has been more than a month since my last post on time out. How has it been working for the past few weeks?

I think it is working very well indeed! For example, Jiale was given time out a few times yesterday, for hitting & kicking Didi and me. (Yes, he still does that sometimes, but the effectiveness of time out in eliminating undesirable behaviors is another discussion.)

He kicks Didi, because Didi takes his toy. (and yes, Didi can be very naughty too)

Mummy asks him to go to his room for time out. Before closing the door, I tell him, "Mummy said cannot kick Didi. So you have to go to time out. You can come out only when I say so."

He might or might not be crying at this point. But 99% of the time, he stops once I close the door. All quiet inside.

After 2-3 minutes (the standard is 2 minutes since he is 2 years old. I add one minute if he refuses to go in by himself), I call out, "OK you can come out now."

He opens the door and comes out, usually smiley and friendly : )
(At the beginning, he was usually not smiling though he was not unfriendly or grouchy either... more of just apprehensive 'what is mummy going to do when I come out..?' But I guess now he knows I won't scold him after time out.)

Mummy does not have a chance to lose temper or to scold him things which I would probably regret afterwards, and the two minutes is sufficient for me to calm down too. When he comes out, I welcome him with a smile and open arms. (The book says not supposed to mention the naughty thing he did after he has served the time out, so I don't.)

Most importantly, he does not try to take back his toy from Didi! Usually he goes to Didi with the same toy (or another toy if Didi is still playing with the original toy) and gives it to Didi with a hug! So I guess he sorts out his thoughts while alone in the room : )

We carry on with whatever we are doing, instead of wasting time scolding/nagging/sulking, and harmony is restored. Less negative vibes too : )

OK, the boys are still napping. So, about the effectiveness of time out to stop undesirable behaviors for good - I believe this will take a longer time, and at Jiale's age I do not expect him to be perfect or angelic. Slowly, slowly : ) For now, I am happy enough that I have a solution which reduces the amount of scolding & nagging I do.