A Sad Thing

There is a blog which I have been following for more than two years (no, it's not someone I actually know, so don't worry you all), the child is about 15 months older than Jiale, and I liked the way the parents were teaching/interacting with their child. In fact, I bought many of the parenting and children books I now have because the parents were using them with their child.

The mother was a sahm initially, and when she went back to work, the child was placed in childcare. But this post is not about sahm vs ftwm or the pros & cons of childcare.

The boy is four years old now. The parents wrote on their blog that they signed him up for extra enrichment lessons (conducted in the same childcare centre) on three of the days because otherwise he would be left to read or do quiet activities on his own after the main curriculum ended around 5pm.

They signed him up for two weekend classes, one for each day, because he was no longer willing to read with them or do learning activities like workbooks. Instead he would rather play with his trains or watch train videos on iPad.

No doubt the boy was learning something from these enrichment classes (the parents blogged about them too). And having read their blog for more than two years, I don't doubt the parents' starting point was for the good of the child. Neither do I have any intention of criticising their parenting methods... Just that when I read the blog, I felt sad for the boy.... So sad that it has been one whole day and I am still feeling affected.. hence this post...

Because the word 'burnout' screamed at me as I was reading their post. I am no couch psychologist and definitely don't claim to be able to 'diagnose' any problem just from reading a blog. It just saddens me to think that a four-year-old might be possibly suffering burnout...... I considered leaving a comment on their blog, but decided against it, as I do not like unsolicited advice (especially about parenting) and I do not wish to impose my unsolicited views on others. (It's different if you read my blog cos you are a voluntary victim ok :P)

So I am writing about it here as a reminder to myself and to all my voluntary victims. After all, what can we use to 'diagnose' burnout in a young child if not for such little warning signs? The boy might not be burnt out or unhappy at all, but if I see similar signs in my sons, I will most definitely worry they are burnt out.

Downtime is important, whether at home or in school/childcare, especially when the child is there from morning to evening. Time for the child to do nothing. 'Nothing' is a very important item I strive for daily in my boys' routines. When I see Jiale playing with his trains on the floor, I know he's deeply engrossed in pretend play and actively working his imagination. When I see Jiale 'stoning', I know he's letting his mind wander and be free or he's thinking hard about something or he's just resting - all are good.

My parenting philosophies and goals have changed quite a lot over the past 2+ years, because of the books I have read and what I observed in my sons. I do not claim to be an expert, I freely profess what I write here is based on my own opinions and inclinations/preferences/bias. I share what I do/think/know not because I am helpful or 伟大 or what. I am not trying to 'help' the parents at all. It's the children whom my heart aches for... yes, that tiny person....