Read an article on one of my favorite blogs recently and it got me thinking of my worries about Jiale's concentration span when he was not even two years old. At that time I saw other children of his age being able to sit down for 'lessons' with their mums, but it was next to impossible to do such seat work with Jiale. I felt rather worried then, even having some concerns whether he was hyperactive. Yet, he did not really seem to be hyperactive.. just.. not able to sit down for 'lessons' with me. Given my parenting style, I chose not to 'force' him to do so, and just let him be.
Fast forward to a few months down the road. Now, there are so many times during each day that I see Jiale fully concentrating on whatever he is doing. Even though he does not have to go to school everyday and he has so much time at home, I still feel that he needs more time to do what he wants to..! Often when I tell him it's bedtime/bathtime/mealtime soon, he responds with 'no! play!', usually while fully focused on his 'work'. This 'work' might be his trains & tracks, blocks, a book, or one of his many toys. Each time, he is able to easily spend up to an hour engrossed, playing on his own.
Other examples of things I felt worried/stressed about, and eventually he showed me that there was nothing to worry about:
Spelling/ word recognition/ reading
Much as I would like to do proper 'lessons' with him, I do not wish to 'make' him sit down with me. As a result, though I do get a few opportunities here and there, we do not have a structured lesson format going on. What we do have is a 'rich' environment - I put up word charts, flashcards etc all around the house - on the fridge door, on the walls, on the doors, on the coffee table.. everywhere! And of course we have books everywhere and I read to him at bedtime and whenever he asks me to.
Now he can recognise some Chinese and English words, even when the words appear in different books or when I write the word on his doodle board.
Drawing
I have never 'instructed' him when it comes to art & craft. I just let him have free play with the materials. And recently, he has starting 'naming' what he is drawing. For instance, he drew a lion while I was busy with something else, and when I came back to him, he told me it was a lion without me prompting him : ) Still, I shall take care not to ask him everytime what he is drawing, as he is still young and it is perfectly reasonable that sometimes he just wants to scribble and might not be drawing anything.
Talking
Jiale is quite late in starting to talk. Nevertheless, he is talking a lot more nowadays. Later than many others, but that's ok with me : )
From these examples, I have learnt that there is no need to rush him if he is not ready, and probably it won't do him any good to rush him. Mummy shall just wait patiently, and in the meantime, provide lots of opportunities (time & materials) for him to play, play, play!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
I Just Wanna Rant
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
No comments will be accepted for this post.
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
i feel lonely as a non-christian trying-to-homeschool mum
No comments will be accepted for this post.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Book: Brain Gym
Disclaimer: My 'book reviews' are very subjective as it depends on
whether the book is relevant to my family. Neither will I be doing any
summary as I believe it's the details that make the book useful/helpful.
(Seems like I am on a roll writing book reviews! Haha, actually finished reading these books recently but did not have time to blog about them. Hubby has KO for the night so I have the laptop at my disposal.)
Can't recall why I decided to get hold of this book (from library). Must have come across it in some blog or another book. Basically, the authors are saying that there are some exercises that help to 'enhance the experience of whole brain learning'. And this book is really very simple - no theories or chim chim explanations, just illustrations and simple instructions about how to do the exercises. I found the illustrations & instructions to be too simple!
But, brain gym exercises are easy to do and do not take up much time, and I think it's good to do them with the child. Even if they don't help the brain, stretching and any physical exercise are always good : )
For more detailed explanations, another book which I review here might be more helpful.
(Seems like I am on a roll writing book reviews! Haha, actually finished reading these books recently but did not have time to blog about them. Hubby has KO for the night so I have the laptop at my disposal.)
Can't recall why I decided to get hold of this book (from library). Must have come across it in some blog or another book. Basically, the authors are saying that there are some exercises that help to 'enhance the experience of whole brain learning'. And this book is really very simple - no theories or chim chim explanations, just illustrations and simple instructions about how to do the exercises. I found the illustrations & instructions to be too simple!
But, brain gym exercises are easy to do and do not take up much time, and I think it's good to do them with the child. Even if they don't help the brain, stretching and any physical exercise are always good : )
For more detailed explanations, another book which I review here might be more helpful.
Book: Smart Moves
Disclaimer: My 'book reviews' are very subjective as it depends on
whether the book is relevant to my family. Neither will I be doing any
summary as I believe it's the details that make the book useful/helpful.
As I was reading online reviews of the book 'Brain Gym', I came across this book which was recommended as more detailed reading of the concepts and theories behind Brain Gym. Thus I reserved it from the library as well.
Took me a long time to finish the book. My take: It's too chim for a layman like me. I don't think it's necessary for me to know how the brain gym exercises affect the proprioceptive receptors or the basal ganglion :P While Brain Gym was too simple, this is too complicated.
I say, skip it unless you have a lot of time/ are very interested in brain functioning/ are medically trained.
As I was reading online reviews of the book 'Brain Gym', I came across this book which was recommended as more detailed reading of the concepts and theories behind Brain Gym. Thus I reserved it from the library as well.
Took me a long time to finish the book. My take: It's too chim for a layman like me. I don't think it's necessary for me to know how the brain gym exercises affect the proprioceptive receptors or the basal ganglion :P While Brain Gym was too simple, this is too complicated.
I say, skip it unless you have a lot of time/ are very interested in brain functioning/ are medically trained.
Book: Your Self-Confident Baby
Disclaimer: My 'book reviews' are very subjective as it depends on
whether the book is relevant to my family. Neither will I be doing any
summary as I believe it's the details that make the book useful/helpful.
Been reading this blog a lot recently, and I like the author's philosophy in working with children. She trained under Magda Gerber, so naturally I searched for a book by Gerber and found this book.
The book is more relevant for parents with children below two years old. The book was ok, so this is more of a review of the author's philosophy.
The underlying idea is - wait. Trust your child to develop at his own pace. Don't try to rush him to do things he is not ready to. For example, don't hold his hands and 'walk' him. No need to teach academic stuff as he will learn what he needs to from the natural environment.
I like this idea. It is what I am trying to do with regards to Jiale's 'academic learning'. I like it a lot.. just that I don't know whether I have the willpower to wait and resisit peer pressure & societal pressure.
Good to read this book if you know you are not a ks parent &/or do not want to be a ks parent.
Been reading this blog a lot recently, and I like the author's philosophy in working with children. She trained under Magda Gerber, so naturally I searched for a book by Gerber and found this book.
The book is more relevant for parents with children below two years old. The book was ok, so this is more of a review of the author's philosophy.
The underlying idea is - wait. Trust your child to develop at his own pace. Don't try to rush him to do things he is not ready to. For example, don't hold his hands and 'walk' him. No need to teach academic stuff as he will learn what he needs to from the natural environment.
I like this idea. It is what I am trying to do with regards to Jiale's 'academic learning'. I like it a lot.. just that I don't know whether I have the willpower to wait and resisit peer pressure & societal pressure.
Good to read this book if you know you are not a ks parent &/or do not want to be a ks parent.
Book: 1-2-3 Magic. Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
Disclaimer: My 'book reviews' are very subjective as it depends on
whether the book is relevant to my family. Neither will I be doing any
summary as I believe it's the details that make the book useful/helpful.
Borrowed this book from the library after another mummy recommended it. When I first heard of this 1-2-3 method, I thought, 'Why need to give three chances? Wouldn't that be teaching the child that he could get away with being naughty two times before he got punished? What if he hit someone, wait for him to hit two more times before taking action??'
But once I read the book, I realised one shall not judge a book by its cover.. without reading it! :P In fact, even when I was reading the Introduction, I felt like ditching the book - it sounded too much like a salesperson making a hard sell! Fortunately, I persevered : )
So, what if the child hits someone? No need to wait for two more times! For 'offences' deemed serious enough, the parent can go to '3' straight away and impose a punishment (such as time-out). The book also gives examples of many other disciplinary situations. Best of all, it's funny and a good read, not draggy at all. Given the scope it covers, I am amazed it's a very manageable 212 pages.
The 1-2-3 method seems like it will be a good add-on to my current disciplinary method, i.e. time-out. But I only want to use time-out for major problems like hitting, instead of sending him off to time-out for every little thing. Using 1-2-3, it means that three 'small' misbehaviours equate one 'big' misbehaviour.. sorta makes sense to me.
Other things in the book which make sense to me and make me agree and want to try:
1) No Talking. No Emotion.
me: emotion and 'discussion' often escalate to anger and frustration, resulting in a 'parental tantrum'. I fully agree that there's no point in talking too much to a unhappy young child, which we do only because we assume a child is a 'little adult' (elaborated in the book).
2) Different methods for stopping obnoxious behavior and encouraging good behavior. Also talks about the importance of strengthening parent-child relationship.
Good book!
Borrowed this book from the library after another mummy recommended it. When I first heard of this 1-2-3 method, I thought, 'Why need to give three chances? Wouldn't that be teaching the child that he could get away with being naughty two times before he got punished? What if he hit someone, wait for him to hit two more times before taking action??'
But once I read the book, I realised one shall not judge a book by its cover.. without reading it! :P In fact, even when I was reading the Introduction, I felt like ditching the book - it sounded too much like a salesperson making a hard sell! Fortunately, I persevered : )
So, what if the child hits someone? No need to wait for two more times! For 'offences' deemed serious enough, the parent can go to '3' straight away and impose a punishment (such as time-out). The book also gives examples of many other disciplinary situations. Best of all, it's funny and a good read, not draggy at all. Given the scope it covers, I am amazed it's a very manageable 212 pages.
The 1-2-3 method seems like it will be a good add-on to my current disciplinary method, i.e. time-out. But I only want to use time-out for major problems like hitting, instead of sending him off to time-out for every little thing. Using 1-2-3, it means that three 'small' misbehaviours equate one 'big' misbehaviour.. sorta makes sense to me.
Other things in the book which make sense to me and make me agree and want to try:
1) No Talking. No Emotion.
me: emotion and 'discussion' often escalate to anger and frustration, resulting in a 'parental tantrum'. I fully agree that there's no point in talking too much to a unhappy young child, which we do only because we assume a child is a 'little adult' (elaborated in the book).
2) Different methods for stopping obnoxious behavior and encouraging good behavior. Also talks about the importance of strengthening parent-child relationship.
Good book!
Personal Space for Children
I have come to realise that Jiale needs his personal space from Didi. It's not realistic to expect him to share all his things and always play together with Didi. This is especially so since Didi is still at the destructive age and does not know how to be gentle with 'fragile' items, such as Jiale's 3D foam letters and the trains which he spends much effort to line up soooo precisely. Not to mention that Didi does not understand &/or does not care what is 'NO!!'
Thus the playyard has come in handy again. Other than cordoning off the sofa & coffee table so that Didi cannot climb on them, the area has also become Jiale's space away from Didi. Jiale can easily climb over the playyard, while Didi can only look on.
Other than this small area in the living room, I also tell Jiale that if he does not want Didi to touch his things or to disturb him, he should go into his bedroom and close the door. So far, this arrangment has been working quite well. But as you can see, Didi has started his attempts to climb over the playyard, probably because he sees Kor Kor do it so often. Hopefully, by the time he manages to climb over, he will be able to understand the idea of 'personal space' without needing a physical barrier.
Other than me, the other person with whom the boys spend the most time would be each other. Notwithstanding that Jiale only goes to school for one morning a week, I believe that the time spent in school or at other caregivers' place cannot really be counted as personal space, as the child would not be in his own home. And even though Jiale gets a break from Didi when Didi is having his morning nap, I would consider that more to be personal time, rather than personal space. My idea of personal space is a place where the child can retreat to anytime, depending on his mood & preferences.
That said, it does not mean that the brothers don't get along. Often, I walk past the living room to see them on different sides of the playyard, and the next time I walk past, both boys would be playing together somewhere. It makes me feel good to know that Jiale made the choice to be with his brother : )
Thus the playyard has come in handy again. Other than cordoning off the sofa & coffee table so that Didi cannot climb on them, the area has also become Jiale's space away from Didi. Jiale can easily climb over the playyard, while Didi can only look on.
Other than this small area in the living room, I also tell Jiale that if he does not want Didi to touch his things or to disturb him, he should go into his bedroom and close the door. So far, this arrangment has been working quite well. But as you can see, Didi has started his attempts to climb over the playyard, probably because he sees Kor Kor do it so often. Hopefully, by the time he manages to climb over, he will be able to understand the idea of 'personal space' without needing a physical barrier.
Other than me, the other person with whom the boys spend the most time would be each other. Notwithstanding that Jiale only goes to school for one morning a week, I believe that the time spent in school or at other caregivers' place cannot really be counted as personal space, as the child would not be in his own home. And even though Jiale gets a break from Didi when Didi is having his morning nap, I would consider that more to be personal time, rather than personal space. My idea of personal space is a place where the child can retreat to anytime, depending on his mood & preferences.
That said, it does not mean that the brothers don't get along. Often, I walk past the living room to see them on different sides of the playyard, and the next time I walk past, both boys would be playing together somewhere. It makes me feel good to know that Jiale made the choice to be with his brother : )
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