Why I Don't Want A Maid

Many people have expressed amazement that I intend to take care of three young children including a newborn by myself. Actually, I think that the worst is while I am pregnant.. The baby inside is so vulnerable... I can't even see her to know whether she is ok.. Unlike the two older boys, I can take their temperature or ask them how they are feeling or just observe their appetites or whether they are sick and cranky.

But no point engaging a domestic helper just for these few months right? The thing is, I don't think I want the helper to do anything that is directly related to the care of the children anyway, such as bathing them, feeding them, playing with them, or even wiping their poo. Even when I was very very stressed (like when Didi refused to nap), I didn't like the idea of a helper taking over though I did try to visualize it. The only thing I can think of that I would like someone to help with is the cooking, cos I am really a lousy cook. Even the washing is not too bad, as I currently have a part-time cleaner who comes for a few hours once a week.

Neither will I leave the children alone with the helper and go out alone. Must keep an eye on her all the time! I am traumatized by news reports of domestic helpers abusing the children.. : ( Bo bian la, if I am a full-time working mother.. But since I do have a choice, I would rather not.

In addition, I believe that the children will grow up to be more sensible when they see their mummy slogging her guts out. At the very least they will not expect someone else (i.e. helper) to help them do housework.

[On the other hand, I think it will be good for my sons' future marital happiness to grow up seeing their mummy shaking leg and relaxing at home. Then they will have a realistic idea of what to expect from their wives - i.e. engage a maid for her and let her shake leg & relax at home. Otherwise they might think all wives are supposed to slog. Gosh. My poor daughters-in-law!]

So, it's just to have someone to help with the cooking. Yet my family and I will have to put up with the inconvenience of having an outsider around ALL the time. My house is not big enough to accomodate an outsider. Not to mention the extra financial burden. Much happier to have just our nuclear family : )

So if I can cope during the nine months of pregnancy, I am quite sure I will be able to manage when the baby is born (when I have my own body back!). Just four more months to go!

Survival Theme

Have decided to focus our learning activities around the survival theme.

Firstly, that will include survival skills. I really need to read up and learn about this. Not forgetting my dear sister who was in Girl Guides - please teach your nephews how to tie knots etc! I was in NCC for six years, so I guess I do have some knowledge in this area too. And of course the daddy who did his National Service! Jiale is already attending swimming lessons, i.e. learning how to survive in the water.

That brings me to my second point - safety. Learn how to swim so that he will be safer in the water. I discourage the use of floating devices cos I think they give the child a false sense of security, i.e. he thinks he can float but he doesn't know it's the devices keeping him afloat. The coach does use floats during lessons to let Jiale practise kicking etc, but other than that I don't put floats on Jiale when we go to the pool. Anyway water safety is not the only thing, I shall definitely bear safety in mind when I consider our homelearning themes.

Learning to read safety signs

Also related is health. Can't survive for long if body is not healthy. Thus our outings will be mostly outdoors &/or sports. Natural breeze vs air-conditioning. A healthy mind is the bonus : )

Last but not least is interest. Interest is how to keep his curiosity and desire to learn alive (pun intended :p). If he does not show any particular interest in any topics, we shall just go without and declare a holiday. At the moment though, he's too fast for me to keep up!

Survival Skills for Children

I realised that I am usually more stressed when I am out with Hubby without the kids. Other than that he is the only other person whom I trust to keep to their routines (and no TV etc), I finally made the connection to the reason!

Because usually when we go out, we go for a movie! And the genre we choose usually involves some world disaster (e.g. alien invasion, war) - no romantic comedy for us, cannot waste our precious movie date! - which means all the time that bombs are exploding, aliens are abducting humans, the cities being flooded etc, I will be worrying what if this happens NOW? And I am NOT with my sons! Can't protect them.. how??

(Though the grandparents love them a lot and I am sure they will try their best to protect the two boys in the event of any disaster, the fact is they are not young anymore and do not have the physical ability to run fast fast while carrying the boys. I mean, if got aliens chasing them la.)

This is the main reason why I decided to start Jiale on swimming lessons. So that if Singapore gets flooded, he can swim. So that if aliens are chasing after him, he can jump into the water as an additional escape avenue.

Similarly, I hope he will be quite atheletic so that he can run fast fast away from danger. Be daring to try, for example, leap into the unknown (read: a higher height than what he is used to), so that he can jump across gaping holes. Preferably, jump from building to building too. (wait, or am I getting confused with Spiderman?)

Anyway, that's the idea lah. Survival skills are most basic. More important than phonics, math, whatever.

I am always racking my brains how to further improve his survival skills.. set up a fire? find shelter and food in a forest? differentiate between edible and poisonous fruits? Suggestions are most welcome!