Why I Don't Want A Maid

Many people have expressed amazement that I intend to take care of three young children including a newborn by myself. Actually, I think that the worst is while I am pregnant.. The baby inside is so vulnerable... I can't even see her to know whether she is ok.. Unlike the two older boys, I can take their temperature or ask them how they are feeling or just observe their appetites or whether they are sick and cranky.

But no point engaging a domestic helper just for these few months right? The thing is, I don't think I want the helper to do anything that is directly related to the care of the children anyway, such as bathing them, feeding them, playing with them, or even wiping their poo. Even when I was very very stressed (like when Didi refused to nap), I didn't like the idea of a helper taking over though I did try to visualize it. The only thing I can think of that I would like someone to help with is the cooking, cos I am really a lousy cook. Even the washing is not too bad, as I currently have a part-time cleaner who comes for a few hours once a week.

Neither will I leave the children alone with the helper and go out alone. Must keep an eye on her all the time! I am traumatized by news reports of domestic helpers abusing the children.. : ( Bo bian la, if I am a full-time working mother.. But since I do have a choice, I would rather not.

In addition, I believe that the children will grow up to be more sensible when they see their mummy slogging her guts out. At the very least they will not expect someone else (i.e. helper) to help them do housework.

[On the other hand, I think it will be good for my sons' future marital happiness to grow up seeing their mummy shaking leg and relaxing at home. Then they will have a realistic idea of what to expect from their wives - i.e. engage a maid for her and let her shake leg & relax at home. Otherwise they might think all wives are supposed to slog. Gosh. My poor daughters-in-law!]

So, it's just to have someone to help with the cooking. Yet my family and I will have to put up with the inconvenience of having an outsider around ALL the time. My house is not big enough to accomodate an outsider. Not to mention the extra financial burden. Much happier to have just our nuclear family : )

So if I can cope during the nine months of pregnancy, I am quite sure I will be able to manage when the baby is born (when I have my own body back!). Just four more months to go!

Roseola Scare

(No, it doesn't mean the boys do NOT have roseola.)

Didi has been down with cough and running nose for more than a week. Yesterday he started having a fever as well. The Braun thermometer has been spoilt for some time and I have not replaced it. Hubby was is overseas for work and I needed a thermometer desperately in case Didi's fever got worse during the night. So, I just grabbed the boys after their afternoon nap and rushed to Parkway Parade (in a cab of course. I ain't no Superwoman, no matter how much my hubby would like me to save the cab money.) Temperature went up to 39 C at bedtime.

Fortunately Didi managed to sleep through from 7pm to 5am. At 5am, his temperature was 38.2 C. Fed him fever medicine, milk and water, and miraculously he lay down again and fell asleep for another hour. When he woke up, his fever had gone down to 37+ C. Not too bad, I thought.

Wrong. A couple of hours later I noticed some mild rashes on his tummy and a little bit on his chin. Urmm, then after the shower (which was why I undressed him), I forgot about the rashes. Oops. When I remembered them again, I sent the photo a few mummy friends (real-life friends, ex-colleagues ok) and started to google for more information. Hmm, seems to be roseola (high fever followed by rashes when the fever subsided is the main symptom). What I read put me at ease quite fast, as it seemed that the dangerous part was the high fever, which Didi seemed to have passed. Then it suddenly struck me - was it contagious? Would it affect the baby inside me???? At that moment, a cold fist clenched round my heart....

[Actually, would it have made a difference if I had gone to the PD yesterday? Without the rashes, it was unlikely there would be a diagnosis of roseola. Anyway, even now it's just my own layman 'diagnosis'.]

Couldn't find any conclusive answers online. Apparently roseola does have the potential to cause miscarriages in early pregnancy and birth defects in later pregnancy. But what I read also indicated that most women have already been exposed to roseola before and thus are immune, which means the fetus is protected as well. (In fact, even newborns still have this immunity, but it goes away as they get older. Cool, right?) I then hurriedly called my gynae's emergency number and explained the situation to the person who answered the call. The 20+ minutes before my gynae returned my call was very scary.. I couldn't stop crying and thought I would lose this baby.. (It sure didn't help that the two boys were their usual monkey selves and Didi was refusing to take his medication and making a mess at lunch etc etc.)

Very very relieved when my gynae assured me that it was ok and the baby would be alright. Then.. just continue with the rest of the day lor.... luckily it was just a scare... PHEW!