New Self-care Habits

Ever since my skincare reawakening, I have managed to cultivate a few good habits!

For going out:
Spf lip balm. And I do remember to reapply! : )
Sunblock on hands.
[I tried a hand cream with spf, but there were limited choices. I bought one from Etude House in the end, but the fragrance was too overwhelming. Don't like. Clarins also has a hand cream which comes with spf, but it's freakingly expensive ($40!!) and somehow I just don't like Clarins packaging.]

Before bed:
Lip balm (no spf). I apply a liberal amount for overnight moisturisation.

Cuticle cream/oil on fingernails & toenails.
Hand moisturiser followed by gloves.
Foot moisturiser followed by socks.
Body moisturiser.

Body whitening serum after bath at night.

Spf body moisturiser after bath in the morning.

Skincare
I have always applied quite a few products after washing my face in the morning and at night, so it was easy to just continue this routine. (cleanser, toner, moisturiser, sunscreen in the morning - been doing this without fail everyday for at least 12 years). But now I put more thought into which products to use - e.g. I try to keep to just one or two brands/ranges instead of mix & match, and have added a few more treatment products.

[Personally I believe this will provide better 'coverage' cos the brand would have tried to 'cover' every 'need' within the range. But Brand A might have included more 'clarifying' in its toner, while Brand B might have done so for its cleanser. Something like that la. So by keeping to 1-2 ranges, there would be less repetition or 'loopholes'. I have also read that as different brands use different chemicals &/or preservatives, you will expose your skin to more types of chemicals &/or preservatives the more you mix & match.

Another reason why I limit the number of brands I buy from - it's easier to collect points! Then I get to redeem freebies! From my experience at Laneige counter, I realise it's also good to be on familiar and friendly terms with the counter girl.. even more freebies! Oh ya, it also reduces my tendency to anyhow buy.. For instance when I read magazines, I sorta skip over the recommended products from other brands. Right now I am using mainly Laneige and Kiehls - Laneige for the basic skincare because they are reasonably priced for a beauty counter brand, and Kiehls because of positive feedback from friends & online reviews and because Laneige doesn't have 'high tech' treatment stuff.]

Anywayz. It might look like I am applying a lot of things at bedtime. But it's actually not difficult once I got into the habit. And it takes no more than 10 minutes. And I am feeling happier because of the love & care I am showing myself! : )

Skincare Essentials

Is this going to become a beauty blog? Definitely not! I am no expert and have no expertise to share, and my complexion is not so fantastic that people want to know my 'secrets'. But since I am reading more on this topic, I would like to share what I learn with my friends and especially my sister (because sis, skincare is really more important than makeup!). Ultimately I am still just a housewife with limited budget, no sponsored items, no freebies. Can't compare to those bloggers out there who look so pretty and seem to have unlimited finances/sponsorship to be able to review so many items and/or attend so many workshops. And of course, I will still be blogging about my life as a SAHM with two young children (soon-to-be-three) and my complaints about them :P I would be really keen to read other mummies' blogs if you come across any who also talk about skincare. Please let me know!

Let me list the items which I think every woman should own (and use!!):

Facial cleanser (actually, I think need two cleansers for double cleansing purpose)
Facial toner
Facial moisturiser (unless you have very dry skin, you probably need another richer moisturiser for the neck too)
Facial sunscreen
Exfoliator/scrub
Face mask
Eye cream
Eye mask
Sunscreen for eyes if the facial sunscreen is not suitable for use in eye area
Body scrub (I assume everyone has a soap thingy for cleaning purpose la. This list is for the 'extras')
Body moisturiser
Body sunscreen (if your body moisturiser doesn't come with spf. But if it does, then need another one without spf for night use)
Foot scrub (unless your body scrub is strong enough to tackle the thick skin on feet)
Foot moisturiser (same as above)
Hand moisturiser with spf for day use
Hand moisturiser without spf for night use
Lip balm (same, one with spf and one without)

OK, fellow comrades, have I left out anything? (help me educate my sister)

Actually, I have already left out all the things for nail care and hair care. No special reason, only because I am not bothered about them at the moment, and if I start thinking about them, I will go mad.

Other items which I also like very much but did not include in the Essentials:
Lip scrub (but I use my facial scrub on lips if I am doing facial scrub that day)
Oils (I have a face oil and a body oil. And I also use cooking oil for beauty purposes!)
Hand gloves and feet gloves (to be worn after applying moisturiser)
Facial essence (to be used on neck as well)
Foot file/ Pumice

But then, this doesn't cater to every skin type. For example, pimple cream is not an essential for me cos I hardly get any pimples. And some women are probably very concerned about lip care &/or haircare. I just finished reading Big S's beauty book and she is fanatic about whitening lor. To each her own la. But sis, please go and buy all the abovementioned items! Especially the sunscreen! If not, you just have to use whatever I give you ok!

Skincare Revival

Now that I have more time (so much..!!) on my hands, I have been spending more time on skincare. For the past three years, I had been only doing the minimal, i.e. cleanse, tone, moisturise, sunblock, with a few essences, pore minimiser etc thrown in. I did buy masks but hardly used them (busy... and also lazy la). Due to limited finances, I was mostly using cheaper brands found in Watsons. And it was really anyhow buy - I did not bother to read magazines as I knew I would not be able to buy most of the products recommended. So I just chose whichever was on offer :p All in all, I was just on 'auto-pilot' without thinking much about the care of my complexion.

Recently, partly because I have stopped reading parenting books, and probably also because I have been spending more time chatting with a group of girlfriends, I started paying more attention to skincare again. Now, I can't complain I have no time for masks etc! Have been spending the afternoons googling on this topic during the boys' nap and I have learnt a lot! The best part is, it's not just about buying expensive products, there are many things that I can DIY at home, and many things which are just a matter of inculcating good habits. So what are the new things I have incorporated into my face & body care?

1. Started on a new brand of skincare products and am now committed to sticking to the range, instead of hapzardly combining products from different brands. I am now using Laneige after my friends recommended its award-winning bestseller Water Sleeping Pack. Actually, most of the other items are not award-winning or especially recommended or anything. But I think it's easier on my brain to just focus on one brand - hopefully the products complement one another. In addition, I have realised it's also easier on the pocket cos I will not be as tempted to buy a product from another brand (that eliminates A LOT!). It's also good to collect points which can be used to redeem products. Fortunately, it is not too expensive a brand.

[read this for more info about mixing & matching skincare products]

2. Using oil! Yes you read it right, I am putting more oil on my oily face! Happened to come across this skincare method online, and a girlfriend also mentioned that the skin produces more oil because it is actually dehydrated. In that case, what better moisturiser than an oil?? So now I apply oil both on my face and my body (different types of oil, but the oils can be used on both. Just that I don't dare to apply cheap oil (Palmer) on my face and I don't want to waste expensive oil (Clarins) on my body). It's too early to tell whether the results are good, but I tell myself even if it doesn't solve my current problems of big pores and oily complexion, it is surely good for the future, i.e. prevention of wrinkles!

[read this on how to prevent oil stains on bedsheet]

3. DIY facial masks and body treatments. Since I have a lot of time but little money, this is good! Can use things like yogurt, oats, honey, lemon, milk, sugar, etc! I am thankful I have elephant thick skin and my skin is not sensitive and doesn't get irritated easily, neither do I get breakouts due to new products, so I can be adventurous and try new things : )

4. More of the basic stuff. Been doing more body scrubs, more face exfoliation and masks, more body moisturisers, started applying sunblock on upper body daily etc. My current body scrub is more than 3 years old! Obviously I wasn't using it much :p

5. Eating more fruits & yogurt. Used to be too busy and tired (ok ok, lazy) to even cut fruits for myself, but now I am not too busy to eat a kiwi or two everyday : )

6. Two simple things of using a separate towel to dry my face instead of one towel for face and body, and washing my hair before washing face.. [find out why here and here]

7. Double cleansing for face every night, because I use sunscreen on my face even if I am not going out and do not have makeup on. [learn more here]

8. Sleep early (by 11pm) every night! (oops I am late today!) [click here for more info]

Things I hope to do soon:
Learn how to do eye makeup.
Use hand cream & lip balm regularly during the day.
Apply body moisturiser & sunblock to legs every morning.

My friends mentioned in a different context that they felt I would be able to do anything I set my mind to. It was just a passing remark, but somehow it stuck in my mind and I have been thinking about it quite a lot. I guess it's quite true - I had encountered many uncertain situations before in my 32 years, and somehow I managed to conquer all - attaining the results I wanted in exams, marrying the husband I wanted, completing marathons, coping with the care of two young children as a stay-at-home-mum... There are also things in the future which I KNOW I will be able to achieve, such as improving my marathon timings and losing weight after my final pregnancy! So, why not skincare and makeup? I believe that as long as I resolve to do it and spend enough effort & time on it, I WILL be able to succeed! For skincare - I shall read and read, devote the same amount of focus and diligence as I did to parenting books for the past 3 years. For makeup - I shall read & consult & learn, and more importantly, not be afraid to try and experiment. So what if I fail and embarrass myself? I should have done this when I was younger, but better late than never, right? At the very least, I am learning new things and having fun! : )

P.S. All the links above (except Laneige) go to the same local beauty blog which I have been reading diligently. I like this blog because it has a lot of information and not just reviews of products. Please do let me know if you have other good beauty blogs to recommend! Thanks in advance!

Dangers of Being a SAHM - Emergency Planning

Two things happened this week that made me realise how vulnerable I am to be alone with two young children most of the time. On Monday I suddenly felt very unwell and could barely stand up. Hubby was at work and my family was at faraway Jurong. Though my in-laws were nearby (four bus stops away), I was too sick to be thinking clearly and did not think of calling them for help at all.

This morning I dropped a glass bottle (soy sauce) and there were glass shreds all over the kitchen floor. Didi was sitting less than 20cm away and Jiale was just a little farther away. Though the cleaning auntie was around, she was washing the bedroom toilet and did not know there was a 'disaster'. My feet were very wet because of the soy sauce and Didi was splattered with some too. I carried him a distance away and told the boys to stay away from the kitchen. Luckily Jiale was around to sorta help take care of Didi. He was too young to coax Didi away from the kitchen, so he dragged him away amidst babyish complaints. Jiale also 'tolerated' Didi's interruptions more and did not say 'no' to him as much as usual, so the two boys were able to play together in the living room for quite some time while I cleaned up. There is now a small dent in the floor (homogeneous tiles!), so I am really glad the bottle didn't land on Didi's head >.<

It took me a long time to pick up the glass shreds and I was really thankful for Jiale's help. But it also got me thinking - what if the boys had not been so cooperative? What if a more serious accident had happened? What if I was the one who needed help? (especially given that I have been feeling light-headed recently and might faint anytime)

I have decided to start doing the following:

1. Teach Jiale how to call Daddy on the phone. Once he gets the hang of it, I shall teach him to call my sister and my in-laws as well. The con is that he might start making 'nuisance deep-breathing-no-talking' type of calls to them. Oh well, safety first. I'm sure they won't mind anyway.

2. Ask Hubby to call me at regular intervals, at least twice a day. Hope he can remember...

3. Leave the main door open whenever I am home alone with the boys. So that Jiale can ask for help when the neighbours walk by. Or if I faint in the living room, the neighbours will be able to see me.

That's all I can think of for now. Suggestions are most welcome!

Make Yourself Happy Part 2

I feel very happy with the recent change to my time off and I have made another change!

Previously I would cook dinner occasionally. As Hubby only reaches home around 8.30pm on most days, that means I had to do the usual routine of settling the boys to sleep, before I started cooking dinner for Hubby and myself. It was usually 9.30pm by the time we finished eating, and 10pm when I finished washing up (dishes, sink, stove, maybe gotta mop floor too). I was not happy. Cooking dinner made me feel stressed and grouchy. I felt that it was a meaningless activity as I was not a good cook anyway and what I cooked was definitely not as tasty as what we could buy.

So, I thought about it and concluded I would feel happier if it could be more meaningful. I told Hubby that I would cook dinner on the days that he could reach home by 7pm. In this way, we can eat dinner together with the boys. I bathe the boys before he comes back and prepare the ingredients in advance too, so when he reaches home, I just need to cook. Though I do not expect Hubby to help out with the boys' bedtime routine after dinner, at least I can finish all the housework by 9pm. Urmm, the food is still not that fantastic lah, but cooking for the family and eating as a family make me feel my efforts are more worthwhile.

[I would like to clarify that I am not making life difficult for Hubby to expect him to reach home by 7pm once in a blue moon. No doubt he has never-ending work, but he is able to go off by 6pm+ if necessary. He also went off at 6pm+ recently when his work associate gave him a dinner treat :p]

Some friends have commented that I am very 'fast hand fast leg' when I want to do something. It's because I do not like to sit around and wait for solutions to fall from the skies. When I have a problem, I think think think about how to solve it and then execute it. Why sit around and continue to be unhappy? Especially when it's a problem that can be solved?

I also remember a friend posting on FB something along the line of 'people who post a lot on FB are less happy'. I disagreed then and I still disagree now. I think posting on FB is an active way of getting advice, comfort, suggestions, encouragement, affirmation, etc. When I have a question/problem, I ask. When I am unhappy about something, online friends give me a virtual hug &/or pat on the back. Or when they share their own experiences, I realise I am not the only one in such a situation. In addition to my personal experiences, in my professional opinion (pyschology & social work trained) I also say people who keep things to themselves are likely to be more unhappy :p

Can I give you a challenge? Think of one thing which you are currently unhappy about, and set out to solve the problem and make yourself happy! All the best!

Make Yourself Happy

Ideally (for women), the wife/mother will never have to ask for 'time off' to go out with her friends or just to have a break. Instead , the husband/father will often insist that she should go and pamper herself, offering his services to look after the children so that she can go off happily.

(Ideally, for men, the wife/mother will never ask for 'time off'. Same as how employers feel about domestic helpers.)

After a couple of frustrating incidences recently where I was not able to go off by myself even though there were available caregivers for the boys, I decided to take concrete action instead of feeling upset about it and having no mood to play properly with the boys (not to mention black face all the time :p)

In the past, I would ask for time off from Hubby when my friends wanted to meet up (e.g. one of my girlfriends' birthday) or when I wanted to go for a facial etc. But I felt a bit paiseh everytime I asked, as it seemed like it was 'extra'. And I would rush to my appointment and then rush back to meet up with Hubby and kids. In the end, I didn't feel much rested.. in fact it was quite stressful to go for a facial!

Now, I take a day off every month, 10am to 6pm. I go off even if I do not have any specific plans. And if I do want to meet up with my friends or go for a facial or haircut etc, I will arrange on my off day. No fixed day, but only one day a month.

Yesterday was the first time I did this. No guilt, because I know that I am still with the boys 24 hours the other 29 days of June. No paiseh, cos I know I will not have to leave Hubby alone with the boys for the remainder of the month. All I felt was HAPPY!

Did not make any plans with anyone for the day cos I wanted to totally relax and did not want any time constraints. Asked one old friend whether she was free to meet up as I have not met her for a very very long time, but she was not free. So I spent my free time visiting my favorite shops.. all places which I have always frequented, but this time I could browse slowly in peace! And I met up with two friends for an impromptu tea! Wow, when was the last time I could meet friends without prior advance early planning??

How about Hubby? Is it fair for him to have to take care of the boys by himself for one day a month? Well, he has dinner and drinks with his work associates about 2-3 times a month, usually reaching home no earlier than 1am. Though the boys are already in bed anyway and I don't need him around to help out with them, so it shouldn't matter, right? Hmm, he has me and my military training to thank for not having to rush home after work everyday, and being able to rest once he reaches home at 8pm+ as the boys are in bed by then. Yep, I take the credit. And I am very willing to let Hubby go off by himself during weekends if he wants to catch a movie etc. Fair and square! Not to mention that he will be happier with a happy wife than a grouchy one.. :p

Auntie, Be Gone!

I know, I know, I just wrote a post about the same topic not long ago. But another blogger-mummy's post about this 'inspired' me again :P

Why are there so many aunties around us? Perhaps not among our friends yet.. since we are still in our 30s.. But there are so many aunties on the streets! Just look around you now! All these women were young once, and probably slimmer and prettier.. what happened to them? Will the same thing happen to us? 

Is it just metabolism? Or age? Hmm, if I did not become a mother, I am quite certain I would be able to remain slim and  ok-pretty for many many more years.. Do pregnancy & childbirth change our body so much? It's not just about going back to its former glory..  It's no longer being able to eat & eat and not put on a single ounce.. It's the hips are wider and no amount of dieting/exercise can 'narrow' the hips.. It's the abuse that breastfeeding exerts on the sisterly assets..

I have said this before, and I shall say it again - NEVER become a mother unless you really want to!

Is it vain for a woman to take care of her looks? Is it a waste of money to buy nice clothes and good skincare products? Is it a waste of time to go for facials?

It's not just about whether the hubby minds the wife looking haggard. Many guys reading this would probably say they would love their wife no matter how she looks. Many would say they are not superficial and it's not just about the looks. I agree, so many good men among my friends, I am sure they will not have affairs or love their wife less just because she does not look as good as before. BUT think of it another way - how does your wife feel? Now, the good men might say, 'hey my wife is a good woman, not a vainpot like you ZZ, she won't be upset about how she looks!' OK OK, congratulations to you! You can stop reading now!

Back to what I was saying. These are all 'extra' and not-essential things. But, won't the wife smile from the heart when the hubby insists she go for a facial while he looks after the kid(s)? Won't she feel pampered  when he offers to pay for a luxury skincare item for her? Won't she be pleased when he tells her he doesn't mind waiting for her while she pops into the salon for a mani/pedi?

Won't a happy wife be more loving and more lovey-dovey toward the hubby?

I know I sure felt very happy when my hubby said he would pay for new clothes for me! :D

(take a rain-check on that first. No point buying new clothes when the body wearing them is not up to standards yet :p)

How to implement a proper self-care regime though? I have been diligently applying body moisturiser and taking my anti-oxidant nightly. Seriously, self-care is hard work. A facial once a month is reasonable I think, but on top of the other weekend engagements we have (meeting up with friends, bringing the boys out to play, visiting family, couple time), it's not easy to squeeze in two hours for the facial. I shall work on it though, and NOT feel any guilt about leaving Hubby with the two boys!

Hurray for self-care!

*no guilt* *no guilt* *no guilt* *no guilt* *no guilt* *no guilt* *no guilt* *no guilt* *no guilt*

*I deserve it* *I deserve it* *I deserve it* *I deserve it* *I deserve it* *I deserve it* *I deserve it*

Colon Health

Inspired to read up on this after a relative went for a colon checkup last week, ie a colonoscopy. Still waiting for results of the checkup, hopefully she is fine. But 'fine' already includes having difficulties in the toilet and sometimes blood in the output. I thought.. everyone has to poo.. and it's something we do quite often... Imagine having to worry even when on the toilet.. perhaps feeling constipated but don't dare to push for fear of aggravating the condition... : /

What I have learnt after some googling:
1) The correct position for eliminating is squatting. Apparently the intestines are straight when we squat so the waste materials can come out more easily. When we sit on the toilet, a part of the intestines is curved, which means the waste might 'collect' in the curve. Yucks.

2) As I posted in a recent link, it's apparently not good to eat small meals as the food will be not bulky enough for the intestines to push it through during digestion. It's better to eat three main meals instead.

By the way, let me state a disclaimer here. I did not read up a lot a lot on the above information, just that they seem like sound advice and not too difficult to do. The medical terms I use might not be that accurate, e.g. when I say intestines, it might be the stomach instead.

So, what I have decided to do with immediate effect:

1) Increase my intake of vegetables & fruits. One serving a day seems so little, right? But I have never been a fan of vegetables since young and it was only in recent years that I started to eat a bit of greens. As for fruits, it just seemed too much trouble to wash and cut them (read: lazy). To make things worse, as I am not working and spend most of my time with the kids, I have neither time nor inclination to cook proper meals for myself. (I cook for the kids but their food is too healthy for me!) Thus my breakfast is usually 2 slices of bread with peanut butter, lunch is rice with fish tofu. (I no kid you, I have been eating fish tofu for lunch for months on days which I am at home without hubby. I like it la, but I know it's processed food and not healthy.) As for dinner, Hubby da bao food back, usually carrot cake or wanton mee or zi char (usually a meat dish and an egg dish since I don't like vegs), which are yummy and I like.. but again, not healthy. So.. where's the vegetables in my diet??Have proposed to Hubby to change the egg dish to a veg dish when he buys zi char in future and he agreed : )

2) I have bought a probiotics supplement. Took it for the first time today and shall continue diligently.

(Hubby says there is no need for such supplements as long as I eat more fruits & vegs. But..... both he and the abovementioned relative eat vegs regularly.. But they still had/have problems.... While I never ate vegs for 20+ years of my life... and I am still fine... never had much problem in the loo.. (TMI?? haha) So I conclude fruits & vegs are not that great after all. But still, good to eat more of them of course.)

Do take care of your colon!

Auntie-ism

While Jiale was having his super long nap at Vivocity yesterday, I took the time to people-watch, with my primary target being mothers. I wanted to see what it was in people's dressing/makeup etc that made the difference between an auntie and a yummy mummy. (The following are listed in order from least important to most important.)

Clothes
Didn't know that many many mummies did dress very casually! Most of the mummies I saw were in shorts/bermudas/3-quarters pants and a t-shirt/casual top. And unfortunately, no matter how glam/branded/expensive they were, shorts were shorts and t-shirts were t-shirts.. There's no way they could look yummy in such a casual get-up. As for jeans, some were able to get away with it if their jeans were hip enough (read: tight, stylish).. not the baggy loose type. The ones who really looked good were definitely more dressed up, e.g. a nice dress, a pantsuit.

Makeup
Yes, makeup is a must-have. When I was younger (early 20s), I preferred the natural look. Felt that it was more important to look good without makeup than to look good with makeup. Now, ten years on, I think makeup IS essential. I shall not deceive myself. Though heavy makeup would probably make one look more like a mama-san than yummy mummy :P I have recently purchased mascara, eyelash curler and bb cream : )

Posture
Gotta sit and stand properly. Slouching does add age to one's overall look. Need not say more.

Age
Not the chronological age, but how old/young you look. Some people just have youngish looks, while some... just look auntie.. Can't do much about it I guess, though a healthy lifestyle (diet, exercise, rest) and supplements (Imedeen??!) will probably help (better complexion is always welcome!).

And lastly... and the most important.. *drum rolls please*
WEIGHT
Yes, those whom I at first glance thought were the elder sister instead of the mother, were all slim! In fact, there was one mummy whom I observed for quite long, and even looked quite closely at her clothes etc.. and I thought she was maybe 20 years old! Slim = youngish girlish figure. Fuller/womanly figures.. well, I guess they come with some assets, but they add years to how a person looks..

So, my conclusion is, no point wasting money buying nice clothes. Frankly speaking, often after meeting someone, whether an old friend or a new acquaintance, I can't recall what they were wearing. As you can see, my list starts off with 'superficial' things like clothes & makeup, then moves on to things which are part of the person.

Anyway, it's just my own amateur observations, which I am sharing here for fun. But guess what my main personal goal will be for now?

*Now, where are my dumbbells?*

Dye Hair DIY

First time I tried colouring my hair myself! Only did highlight/colour at hair salon before, and only 2-3 times as I like my black hair.. BUT now I need to cover white hair : (

So many changes in my personal grooming since I had kids..

Used to do $180 facials. Now it's $30 facials. Even then I can't go regularly cos I have to take care of the boys.

Used to use expensive skincare products - SK II, Clarins, Estee Lauder.. the list goes on.. Now, only pharmacy brands like Nivea. Neutrogena is a luxury item..

Used to sleep as early and wake up as late as I liked on non-working days. Now I am almost always up by 7am when my mobile alarm clock comes to look for me.

Used to play volleyball 2-3 times a week, run 1-2 times a week, play badminton occasionally, go gym........ Now no time, no energy to exercise..

Used to go shopping and buy new clothes whenever I felt like it. Now I only buy when I really need to! (e.g. shoes falling apart)

Tell me, like this how to not become auntie??!