Main reason: they wake up around 7am no matter what time they go to bed the previous night.
To me, there are three main types of bedtimes for children (around Jiale & Jiahe's ages): 1) Early - 7pm+ (or earlier!) to 8pm; 2) Still-ok-early-not-too-late - 8.30pm to before 10pm; 3) Late/very late - after 10pm.
I am ok with them sleeping at 9pm+, even if it's every night, if not for them waking up so early the next morning. Even though there are cons such as me having to work till later, there are significant pros like the convenience of going out for dinner/other family activities (as it is, we never go out in the afternoon/evening, only in the morning, except to the grandparents'), the kids spending more time with daddy after he comes back from work (but it also means less time for daddy to rest after a long day at work), etc. BUT but but, since the boys stubbornly wake up early (usually before 7am), a 9.30pm means TWO whole hours less sleep every night...!! No no noooooooo..! I strongly believe that sleep is the most important contribution to a young child's growth.. no need to do learning aids or learning activities - I believe the child can and will still find ways to learn at a very fast speed... no need to prepare special or nice food for him - I believe he will eat when he is hungry or wants to eat.. But the parent must be in charge of sleeping habits, because a child can stay awake till very late and is likely to want to stay up even if he's tired.
If they go to bed very late at around 11pm, perhaps they might wake up later in the morning. I have no idea cos it has happened less than.. urmm.. 5 times since Jiale was born..? Once was at my brother's wedding dinner.. and the Chinese New Year reunion dinners (in bed by 11pm).. But I think it's way too late for a young child if that is the regular bedtime.
Since Jiale stopped napping willingly/easily recently, the boys' bedtimes have become earlier at 7.30pm. Not that Jiale die die will not nap, but after coercion and threats and scoldings etc, he will probably only fall asleep at maybe 4pm+..? That might work for him.. but poor Didi will also be wanting to play with Kor Kor as they sleep in the same room, and a 4pm naptime is way too late for a 21-month-old who wakes up at 6am+. Then they wake up around 6pm... and end up going to bed around 9pm... which brings us back to their early wakings in the morning.. the amount of naptime remains the same for Didi, but his night sleep has been shortened..!
Total amount of sleep does not differ much for Jiale - he goes to bed later at night but it is made up for by his afternoon nap. But it means a lot of unpleasantness for him and me every afternoon - scoldings and tears and anger etc : (
Alternative: let the boys sleep in separate bedrooms. We have three bedrooms but one is reserved for the coming baby. I don't like the idea of co-sleeping or sharing our room with the kids but I have considered letting Jiale take his afternoon nap in the master bedroom. That will take Didi out of the problem. But still have to scold Jiale to make him sleep : ( Unless I lie down with him - less scoldings.. but this arrangement will fall apart very soon.. Once Meimei arrives, I will be on call 24/7 to attend to her.. Given that Jiale will take at least 30 minutes to fall asleep (since he's being forced to nap and not really tired in the afternoon), it is very likely that I will be activated by Meimei.. end up Kor Kor still not napping and I waste the time lying there waiting for him to sleep.
Anyway it's not that I don't LET him nap. I ask him umpteen times every afternoon whether he's tired and wanna nap. I remind him a zillion times that if he's tired, he can nap in my room or on the sofa anytime. But I do not try to MAKE him nap.
I am actually very satisfied with the current arrangements. I do not know whether it's related to him dropping his afternoon nap, but I see that he has been more lovey-dovey toward me and more loving toward Didi and more well-behaved in general since around the time I stop forcing him to nap. Might be just a coincidence.. or maybe it's because he has more alone time with me now.. and less scoldings from me to force him to nap.. and more time for him to be alone to play, to think, to be quiet. It also gives me time to do certain learning activities with him which are too dangerous/difficult to do together with Didi.
The 7.30pm bedtime works great for Didi too. Even though he usually takes a 2-hour nap and wakes up at 3pm+, he is usually behaving in a 'drunk' manner by 6pm. (I am very lucky that Didi doesn't get cranky when he's tired - he just goes nutty and cute-drunk, haha. I was once very worried that he was intoxicated by the cooking wine I used for their dinner.. but I realised he behaves that way even when I don't use any cooking wine that day, lol.) And since the kids are in bed so early, I am happy too! Daddy is happy too - though he doesn't get to spend much time (if any) with the kids after work, urmm he's not the bleeding-heart type of daddy la... no great desire to play with them every night :p
Speaking of Didi.. I asked the PD whether being tired is related to having fits.. and the PD said yes it's related.. cos I noticed that both times that Didi had the fit, he woke up very early (5am+) that morning. So now I get very nervous when Didi doesn't get enough sleep. As a matter of principle, I don't like to carry the boys now that they are so big. Furthermore, because of my pregnancy, it's dangerous to carry them too. But now, especially after the second fit, I often carry Didi if I see any/a litte sign of him being tired even though he rarely asks me to carry him anymore. I am scccccaared : ( Luckily I am already in the last leg of my pregnancy and Meimei won't be too small even if I pop now.
The only problem now is when we visit the grandparents during weekends. By the time we leave after dinner, it's usually 8pm+ at the earlier, which means the boys only get to be in bed around 10pm, after their milk and bath. Plus it's more difficult to get Jiale to go for his bath since he's tired and cranky by then. (Unlike Didi, Jiale goes crazy-cranky when he's tired.) And he's super tired, cos he would have been awake since 6am+ that morning with no nap. At the grandparents', we also keep asking him whether he wants to nap, and the answer is usually no. I guess I can force him to nap, but I don't think it's fair to him since napping or being forced to nap is no longer part of his daily routine.
Really felt so terrible and so guilty and so apologetic towards Jiale last night, seeing him so exhausted after coming back from the grandparents. He only went to bed at 10.10pm : ( I have thought about it and decided that the parent(s) have to do something about it and not just keep letting the same thing happen. I shall think hard about what to do.
Showing posts with label routine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label routine. Show all posts
Monday, March 4, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Book: French Kids Eat Everything
I really wish my boys would eat everything too! But I think I have to wait long long... especially since they are actually not as picky an eater as their mummy...... :P I don't like to eat vegs, absolutely hate beansprouts, garlic, onion etc, have never tried common slimey stuff like sashimi or offal or oysters, and will never ever try exotic slimey stuff like escargots, and the list goes on and on..
OK, back to the book - it's about a Canadian mummy who moved to France for one year with her French hubby and two kids aged five and two. Her kids were picky eaters as in the elder girl refused to try new foods and only liked food like french fries and pizza, while the younger one used to eat everything but started imitating her sister when she got older (sounds just like my Jiale and Jiahe!!). On top of this, the full-time working mum often just cooked pizza or pasta for their meals as she was tired after a day's work, and it was common practice in North America to eat these foods regularly.
But when the family was in France, she realised that French kids had very different (and much healthier) dietary habits. One of the main points that's relevant to my situation is that instead of grazing (or frequent small meals that's recommended in many parenting books), the French culture was to give the children (actually, even the adults too) three main meals plus a big snack. So, the schedule would be like this: 7.30am for breakfast; 12.30pm for lunch; about 4.30pm for a big snack; 7.30pm for dinner. Though it means that the children sometimes have to go hungry between meals, it also means that they eat more and eat better at the proper mealtimes. The rationale is that it is ok for children to feel hungry at times, and it becomes a cycle - habit to eat more at mealtimes--> won't be that hungry between mealtimes. And because high-satiety foods are served at mealtimes, they feel satisfied for a long time (as opposed to snacks-type of foods).
[The no-snacking between meals was feasible because everybody, including childcare centres, grandparents, other parents, was doing it. It would not work if you were against snacking but the childcare teachers were feeding them!]
As for being willing to try new foods, according to the author, it's very much a cultural thing, i.e. everybody (all parents inclusive) serves their children very varied foods since young. And because everybody is doing it, the children sorta expect to be trying new foods.. they are used to it and all their peers are doing it too. The relevant point here is that researchers have found that children need to see the new food many times (can't remember but I think the book mentioned it's at least 7 times) and to taste the food at least 10 times before they might grow to like the food. If the child says he doesn't like the food the first couple of times it's served to him, we aren't supposed to believe him :p So, I have decided to be thick-skinned and just keep serving him all the stuff which he has indicated he does not like, haha! Given that I cook each dish at most once a week, it's gonna take us a looooooong time to cover each dish 10 times! (actually will be more than 10, cos he might not even taste it the first few times)
The last point which I shall include here, is about parents' priorities. The author compared North American and French mothers, and concluded that while both cultures loved their children very much (of course), the mothers' priorities were different. While the North Amercian mothers had no time to cook proper meals because they were busy ferrying the children around to their enrichment classes etc, the French mothers made it their priority to cook. Being less concerned about 'enriching' their children's brains, either by sending them to classes or engaging in learning activities or even playdates with them, they used the time to cook instead.
Gosh, that sounds familiar! I felt that I had no time to cook as I wanted to bring the boys for outdoor play etc, or to let them make a mess playing which meant I had to spend time cleaning up, or to sit with the boys for 'homelearning'.. But if instead I prioritize their meals, I do have a lot of time! This is my 3rd week of earnest attempts to cook properly (very tough because it's not just about time you know. It's that I am a lousy cook and it's killing many brain cells to cook properly!), and I do find that it's getting easier and taking less time. (In fact, I am contemplating making nice nice bento-decor lunches for the boys, hee hee.) The boys have also adjusted to seeing mummyslog spend a long time at the kitchen counter washing, cutting, cooking. While they used to go crazy everytime I started cooking, suddenly feeling and proclaming they were starving to death (regardless of what time I cooked or how recent their snack was), they have become accustomed to waiting for their food (especially their lovely breakfasts! So happy to see the boys looking forward to my daily creations!).
I am considering following the French meal schedule, but I wonder how feasible that is. The good thing is I have almost 100% control over what time and what they eat since they are not in school yet. (The once-a-week playgroup does not include meals and though the teachers do give them simple snacks like crackers/fruits, I have been preparing snacks for the boys to bring to school since a couple of weeks ago.)
The boys' current eating schedule:
180ml of milk when they wake up around 7am --> Breakfast is served around 7.30am, latest by 8am --> After I finish washing up the breakfast mess and preparing the ingredients for lunch, I offer them food again, around 9.30am. This is usually a selection of foods like fruits, cheese sticks, biscuits, raisins, Happy Munchies --> Depending on how much they eat, I will usually offer fruits around 11am. At this time I remind them that they will not be given any more food till lunchtime --> Lunch is served at 1pm --> If the boys fall asleep fast, they usually wake up around 4.30pm and I offer them a snack, usually fruits. If not, they have to wait for dinner, which is usually served one hour after they wake up from a late nap --> Milk after dinner, no more food allowed after dinner. (Sometimes exception is made for fruits)
So, they are having at least two snacks between breakfast and lunch, within 5 hours! Hmm, after I write it down, I think I should combine these two snacks into one mid-morning snack around 10am. But my main worry is Jiale not getting enough fruits (since he gets constipated and he doesn't eat vegs).. so I feel the need to keep offering fruits to him.. Actually, so far this has worked quite well for his constipation : ) If I don't serve fruits (i.e. a snack) between meals, how to get fruits into him? Since he and Jiahe both like fruits, they might eat even less for their main course if they know they will definitely get fruits right after the main course.. (even less??? omg omg) I shall ponder more on this.
It's not very hard to shift their lunchtime forward by half an hour to the French lunchtime of 12.30pm.. but... can they tahan not eating from 8am to 12.30pm?? And we don't have time for a mid-afternoon snack since the boys usually take quite long to settle down to nap and then they nap about two hours.. But then they also don't have dinner so late.... Hmm.. if I serve dinner at 7.30pm, can I still get them to bed by 9pm? (both for my mental health and for them to get enough sleep since their biological alarm clocks ring loudly by 7am every morning.. even when it's wet and gloomy and so dark I have no idea how they know it's 7am..!!)
This is mind-boggling and brain-cracking and very chim. I doubt a rocket scientist can solve this >.<
OK, back to the book - it's about a Canadian mummy who moved to France for one year with her French hubby and two kids aged five and two. Her kids were picky eaters as in the elder girl refused to try new foods and only liked food like french fries and pizza, while the younger one used to eat everything but started imitating her sister when she got older (sounds just like my Jiale and Jiahe!!). On top of this, the full-time working mum often just cooked pizza or pasta for their meals as she was tired after a day's work, and it was common practice in North America to eat these foods regularly.
But when the family was in France, she realised that French kids had very different (and much healthier) dietary habits. One of the main points that's relevant to my situation is that instead of grazing (or frequent small meals that's recommended in many parenting books), the French culture was to give the children (actually, even the adults too) three main meals plus a big snack. So, the schedule would be like this: 7.30am for breakfast; 12.30pm for lunch; about 4.30pm for a big snack; 7.30pm for dinner. Though it means that the children sometimes have to go hungry between meals, it also means that they eat more and eat better at the proper mealtimes. The rationale is that it is ok for children to feel hungry at times, and it becomes a cycle - habit to eat more at mealtimes--> won't be that hungry between mealtimes. And because high-satiety foods are served at mealtimes, they feel satisfied for a long time (as opposed to snacks-type of foods).
[The no-snacking between meals was feasible because everybody, including childcare centres, grandparents, other parents, was doing it. It would not work if you were against snacking but the childcare teachers were feeding them!]
As for being willing to try new foods, according to the author, it's very much a cultural thing, i.e. everybody (all parents inclusive) serves their children very varied foods since young. And because everybody is doing it, the children sorta expect to be trying new foods.. they are used to it and all their peers are doing it too. The relevant point here is that researchers have found that children need to see the new food many times (can't remember but I think the book mentioned it's at least 7 times) and to taste the food at least 10 times before they might grow to like the food. If the child says he doesn't like the food the first couple of times it's served to him, we aren't supposed to believe him :p So, I have decided to be thick-skinned and just keep serving him all the stuff which he has indicated he does not like, haha! Given that I cook each dish at most once a week, it's gonna take us a looooooong time to cover each dish 10 times! (actually will be more than 10, cos he might not even taste it the first few times)
The last point which I shall include here, is about parents' priorities. The author compared North American and French mothers, and concluded that while both cultures loved their children very much (of course), the mothers' priorities were different. While the North Amercian mothers had no time to cook proper meals because they were busy ferrying the children around to their enrichment classes etc, the French mothers made it their priority to cook. Being less concerned about 'enriching' their children's brains, either by sending them to classes or engaging in learning activities or even playdates with them, they used the time to cook instead.
Gosh, that sounds familiar! I felt that I had no time to cook as I wanted to bring the boys for outdoor play etc, or to let them make a mess playing which meant I had to spend time cleaning up, or to sit with the boys for 'homelearning'.. But if instead I prioritize their meals, I do have a lot of time! This is my 3rd week of earnest attempts to cook properly (very tough because it's not just about time you know. It's that I am a lousy cook and it's killing many brain cells to cook properly!), and I do find that it's getting easier and taking less time. (In fact, I am contemplating making nice nice bento-decor lunches for the boys, hee hee.) The boys have also adjusted to seeing mummy
I am considering following the French meal schedule, but I wonder how feasible that is. The good thing is I have almost 100% control over what time and what they eat since they are not in school yet. (The once-a-week playgroup does not include meals and though the teachers do give them simple snacks like crackers/fruits, I have been preparing snacks for the boys to bring to school since a couple of weeks ago.)
The boys' current eating schedule:
180ml of milk when they wake up around 7am --> Breakfast is served around 7.30am, latest by 8am --> After I finish washing up the breakfast mess and preparing the ingredients for lunch, I offer them food again, around 9.30am. This is usually a selection of foods like fruits, cheese sticks, biscuits, raisins, Happy Munchies --> Depending on how much they eat, I will usually offer fruits around 11am. At this time I remind them that they will not be given any more food till lunchtime --> Lunch is served at 1pm --> If the boys fall asleep fast, they usually wake up around 4.30pm and I offer them a snack, usually fruits. If not, they have to wait for dinner, which is usually served one hour after they wake up from a late nap --> Milk after dinner, no more food allowed after dinner. (Sometimes exception is made for fruits)
So, they are having at least two snacks between breakfast and lunch, within 5 hours! Hmm, after I write it down, I think I should combine these two snacks into one mid-morning snack around 10am. But my main worry is Jiale not getting enough fruits (since he gets constipated and he doesn't eat vegs).. so I feel the need to keep offering fruits to him.. Actually, so far this has worked quite well for his constipation : ) If I don't serve fruits (i.e. a snack) between meals, how to get fruits into him? Since he and Jiahe both like fruits, they might eat even less for their main course if they know they will definitely get fruits right after the main course.. (even less??? omg omg) I shall ponder more on this.
It's not very hard to shift their lunchtime forward by half an hour to the French lunchtime of 12.30pm.. but... can they tahan not eating from 8am to 12.30pm?? And we don't have time for a mid-afternoon snack since the boys usually take quite long to settle down to nap and then they nap about two hours.. But then they also don't have dinner so late.... Hmm.. if I serve dinner at 7.30pm, can I still get them to bed by 9pm? (both for my mental health and for them to get enough sleep since their biological alarm clocks ring loudly by 7am every morning.. even when it's wet and gloomy and so dark I have no idea how they know it's 7am..!!)
This is mind-boggling and brain-cracking and very chim. I doubt a rocket scientist can solve this >.<
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Trying to Teach
Updates about my attempts to have more learning time with the boys:
Today is the third day and I think these two days have gone pretty well : )
On Tuesday afternoon, the boys woke up at 4.30pm, and we read many books together for more than an hour! No, I don't force them to read books... they are free to go off to play with their toys or run around anytime they want to. But they chose to stay for the books. I guess I am quite a good storyteller after all! : )
Yesterday morning, I brought them to the playground downstairs. Things didn't really go as planned though, oops. Wanted to leave the house by 8am but we only managed to go down at 8.15am. Because Jiale didn't want to go to the playground! He said he wanted to play with his trains instead : ( Oh dear oh dear, is it because we haven't gone to the playground for too long? Or is it because our routines etc have somehow made him into a homebody? After some coaxing, finally got him to go downstairs willingly - told him he could let his cars go down the slides :P
The boys had fun playing... for a while.. Less than an hour later, Jiale said he wanted to go home..... : / Haii, I rushed and rushed to get them fed and ready to go to playground, planning to stay outdoors for about two hours until it got too hot... But but but... we have our plans and they have their own plans.....
So we went back upstairs and luckily, it was another good day for books : ) So we read and read until it was time for lunch, and then we continued reading after their nap, with a few pockets of train play (what else?) in between.
Today I decided it was time for more of the great outdoors. So we got a ride from Daddy to East Coast Park early in the morning. After breakfast at McDonalds, we began our Long March to Polliwogs. (Need some indoor playground time cos it would be too hot outside by 10am+) The walk took longer than I expected, good thing Jiale was very well-behaved (as usual!) and never once complained about being tired or hot.. though he did ask quite a few times 'playground where?' and commented 'playground 不晒, here 晒'. Didi also exceeded my expectations by walking for 40 minutes! :D When we reached Polliwogs, the not-tired (???!!) boys went crazy and zoomed around in the playground for 3 hours! I felt tired just looking at them!
All in all, I am feeling much better about what we are doing together. Seems that we are at least spending our time together more constructively. I don't have any ambitious plans for now, just hope to really spend time being present, being with them. Other than the first 3-4 months of my pregnancy when I was feeling so crappy and bone-tired, there was no good reason why each day seemed to be just passing us by. Now, I am more motivated and more disciplined - it's more stressful cos I have to be more organized and more 'on-task' but it's not too difficult. Mainly, I think it's the feeling of not having much time left... only about 3 more months before Meimei arrives and my days will be thrown into a frenzy again.... So I really need to make good use of this time! Who knows when I will be able to really spend time with the boys after Meimei's arrival!
[From experience, the first two months are really crazy. Then it will be another 16 months before things really become much more relaxing.. like now! hee hee. But I really don't want to be 'neglecting the boys for 18 months!!]
Today is the third day and I think these two days have gone pretty well : )
On Tuesday afternoon, the boys woke up at 4.30pm, and we read many books together for more than an hour! No, I don't force them to read books... they are free to go off to play with their toys or run around anytime they want to. But they chose to stay for the books. I guess I am quite a good storyteller after all! : )
Yesterday morning, I brought them to the playground downstairs. Things didn't really go as planned though, oops. Wanted to leave the house by 8am but we only managed to go down at 8.15am. Because Jiale didn't want to go to the playground! He said he wanted to play with his trains instead : ( Oh dear oh dear, is it because we haven't gone to the playground for too long? Or is it because our routines etc have somehow made him into a homebody? After some coaxing, finally got him to go downstairs willingly - told him he could let his cars go down the slides :P
The boys had fun playing... for a while.. Less than an hour later, Jiale said he wanted to go home..... : / Haii, I rushed and rushed to get them fed and ready to go to playground, planning to stay outdoors for about two hours until it got too hot... But but but... we have our plans and they have their own plans.....
So we went back upstairs and luckily, it was another good day for books : ) So we read and read until it was time for lunch, and then we continued reading after their nap, with a few pockets of train play (what else?) in between.
Today I decided it was time for more of the great outdoors. So we got a ride from Daddy to East Coast Park early in the morning. After breakfast at McDonalds, we began our Long March to Polliwogs. (Need some indoor playground time cos it would be too hot outside by 10am+) The walk took longer than I expected, good thing Jiale was very well-behaved (as usual!) and never once complained about being tired or hot.. though he did ask quite a few times 'playground where?' and commented 'playground 不晒, here 晒'. Didi also exceeded my expectations by walking for 40 minutes! :D When we reached Polliwogs, the not-tired (???!!) boys went crazy and zoomed around in the playground for 3 hours! I felt tired just looking at them!
All in all, I am feeling much better about what we are doing together. Seems that we are at least spending our time together more constructively. I don't have any ambitious plans for now, just hope to really spend time being present, being with them. Other than the first 3-4 months of my pregnancy when I was feeling so crappy and bone-tired, there was no good reason why each day seemed to be just passing us by. Now, I am more motivated and more disciplined - it's more stressful cos I have to be more organized and more 'on-task' but it's not too difficult. Mainly, I think it's the feeling of not having much time left... only about 3 more months before Meimei arrives and my days will be thrown into a frenzy again.... So I really need to make good use of this time! Who knows when I will be able to really spend time with the boys after Meimei's arrival!
[From experience, the first two months are really crazy. Then it will be another 16 months before things really become much more relaxing.. like now! hee hee. But I really don't want to be 'neglecting the boys for 18 months!!]
Monday, December 17, 2012
No Time to Teach
I need to re-convince myself why I am keeping the boys at home with me instead of sending them off to school. Especially Jiale who is already the grand old age of 3 years old ('huh, still haven't gone to school ah?'). Oh wait. Make that especially Didi who is giving me headaches and back aches and muscle strains. Jiale is just such a cheerful and independent and sensible boy.... oops I digress.
On a typical day, I hardly get any time to sit down with the boys and play with them or read to them. Mornings are spent in a blur - make them their milk, change their diapers, feed them breakfast, feed them fruits, feed them snacks, feed them feed them feed them (they seem to be constantly asking for snacks when we are at home!), bathe them, change diapers clean poo again... Oh ya and I need to shower and eat breakfast myself too. And I usually vacuum the house too, cos can't vacuum while the boys are sleeping. By then, it's almost time to prepare their lunch! Soon after lunch, it's time for their nap! Goodbye sons!
[Jiale gets constipated very easily and he's a very selective eater, so it's my priority to chase after him to eat fruits &/or prunes every morning. Didi poos an average of 3x a day. When Jiale gets constipated, he poos very often, but only a tiny pellet at a time.. but because the poo hasn't finished coming out, it's a dirty diaper almost all the time.. so I keep wiping and changing.. wiping and changing...]
It's not that I have no time.. I have so much free time in the afternoons... But not with them.. I am zuobo-ing alone... It seems that while they are up and about, there are so many mundane chores to be done! Some days, I really clean poo until I am soooooo tired... : ( I tried to spend time with them in the evenings, but seriously, even if they nap till 5pm+, they can't tahan much later than 8pm. By 7pm+, they will be rubbing their eyes and getting cranky (probably because they wake up early around 6.30am). Which means, it's dinner at about 6pm, drink milk, bathe. By then it's about 7.30pm. Time for bedtime stories.. then it's off to bed again! Goodnight sons!
This morning, I decided to try very very hard to sit down with them. But Didi was very uncooperative and unreasonable - kept wanting to be carried. He really has the stamina to keep crying until I am free to carry him lor. Argh. Anyway, I managed to sit down with them at 9am. Was so happy it was so early! (Actually, I forgot about fruits this morning, but I only remembered that much later.) BUT within 5 minutes, Jiale asked to play with sand instead! (Cos we were reading a book about trucks.. and he saw the dump trucks carrying sand.. what to do..) I got very flustered and told him cannot, we read books instead.. so of course he flew into a tantrum... In the end I managed to get him to wait till 10am for sandplay.. but there went a few precious minutes of reading.
[Frankly, I felt quite devastated when he chose sand over reading, after all the rushing I did to make sure I had time to read to them.]
The good thing was, by 10am he had forgotten about wanting to play sand, so I got to keep reading to them! Hee hee.. He remembered about 10.30am, which was also good, cos I was losing my voice by then. They went off to play with sand.. then gotta bathe them.... then gotta clean the floor cos it was sandy.... then gotta prepare their lunch liao.... They are asleep now, hopefully we will have more time to play and read together later.
So, despite having a whole day together, we don't get much time to do much seat work. Don't even wanna imagine attempting to do more 'serious' stuff like activity books. Don't even dare to think about how to do this after Meimei is here. I guess for now, I have to make a conscious effort to do this everyday - though it is stressful for me - rush rush rush and keep having to think about 'sit down with them sit down with them'.
The pros? Hmmm........................
Even if we aren't doing much structured 'learning', at least they get to see their mummy? A lot a lot a lot.. haha.
It's good for them to see their mummy doing housework right?
And if all else fails, at least the brothers get to spend time with each other? A lot a lot a lot.. make that 24 hours 7 days a week now that they even sleep together, ha! Seriously though, I do see them becoming closer since they started sharing a room : )
OK, I shall just JIA YOU for now!
On a typical day, I hardly get any time to sit down with the boys and play with them or read to them. Mornings are spent in a blur - make them their milk, change their diapers, feed them breakfast, feed them fruits, feed them snacks, feed them feed them feed them (they seem to be constantly asking for snacks when we are at home!), bathe them, change diapers clean poo again... Oh ya and I need to shower and eat breakfast myself too. And I usually vacuum the house too, cos can't vacuum while the boys are sleeping. By then, it's almost time to prepare their lunch! Soon after lunch, it's time for their nap! Goodbye sons!
[Jiale gets constipated very easily and he's a very selective eater, so it's my priority to chase after him to eat fruits &/or prunes every morning. Didi poos an average of 3x a day. When Jiale gets constipated, he poos very often, but only a tiny pellet at a time.. but because the poo hasn't finished coming out, it's a dirty diaper almost all the time.. so I keep wiping and changing.. wiping and changing...]
It's not that I have no time.. I have so much free time in the afternoons... But not with them.. I am zuobo-ing alone... It seems that while they are up and about, there are so many mundane chores to be done! Some days, I really clean poo until I am soooooo tired... : ( I tried to spend time with them in the evenings, but seriously, even if they nap till 5pm+, they can't tahan much later than 8pm. By 7pm+, they will be rubbing their eyes and getting cranky (probably because they wake up early around 6.30am). Which means, it's dinner at about 6pm, drink milk, bathe. By then it's about 7.30pm. Time for bedtime stories.. then it's off to bed again! Goodnight sons!
This morning, I decided to try very very hard to sit down with them. But Didi was very uncooperative and unreasonable - kept wanting to be carried. He really has the stamina to keep crying until I am free to carry him lor. Argh. Anyway, I managed to sit down with them at 9am. Was so happy it was so early! (Actually, I forgot about fruits this morning, but I only remembered that much later.) BUT within 5 minutes, Jiale asked to play with sand instead! (Cos we were reading a book about trucks.. and he saw the dump trucks carrying sand.. what to do..) I got very flustered and told him cannot, we read books instead.. so of course he flew into a tantrum... In the end I managed to get him to wait till 10am for sandplay.. but there went a few precious minutes of reading.
[Frankly, I felt quite devastated when he chose sand over reading, after all the rushing I did to make sure I had time to read to them.]
The good thing was, by 10am he had forgotten about wanting to play sand, so I got to keep reading to them! Hee hee.. He remembered about 10.30am, which was also good, cos I was losing my voice by then. They went off to play with sand.. then gotta bathe them.... then gotta clean the floor cos it was sandy.... then gotta prepare their lunch liao.... They are asleep now, hopefully we will have more time to play and read together later.
So, despite having a whole day together, we don't get much time to do much seat work. Don't even wanna imagine attempting to do more 'serious' stuff like activity books. Don't even dare to think about how to do this after Meimei is here. I guess for now, I have to make a conscious effort to do this everyday - though it is stressful for me - rush rush rush and keep having to think about 'sit down with them sit down with them'.
The pros? Hmmm........................
Even if we aren't doing much structured 'learning', at least they get to see their mummy? A lot a lot a lot.. haha.
It's good for them to see their mummy doing housework right?
And if all else fails, at least the brothers get to spend time with each other? A lot a lot a lot.. make that 24 hours 7 days a week now that they even sleep together, ha! Seriously though, I do see them becoming closer since they started sharing a room : )
OK, I shall just JIA YOU for now!
Monday, August 13, 2012
Change in Routine
Didi's naptime was usually 11.30am, and Jiale's was 12.30pm. But Jiale often woke Didi up with his LOUD whining and crying when it was time for him to go in to his room, so I decided I had to do something about it.
Thus, from today onwards, the boys shall go in for their nap at the same time, at 12nn. Jiale stops crying by the time he's on his bed (it's the getting him away from whatever he is doing that is difficult, he is ok to sleep on his own), so Didi will be still awake (alone in his bedroom) during Jiale's whining.
The good thing is, we have a longer morning together, so we are able to do more things. Since morning is our usual time for sensory/messy play, that means more play! (and also more time for me to clean up, thankfully). This morning, we had fun playing with big bubble wrap and paint. I also read many more books than usual to the boys. Jiale has always had the habit of asking me or Daddy to read to him, while Didi used to be totally not interested in books, he now follows Kor Kor and also brings books for me to read to him : ) And who says sibling rivalry is not good - the boys keep asking for more and more books in an attempt to 'out-read' each other! (They take turns to choose the book for me to read.)
The bad thing is, Didi now has to watch the Letterland CD-ROM together with Jiale. Jiale is allowed to watch two letters a day, IF he remembers to ask for it :P However I would prefer Didi not to start so early, as I am worried he might learn his alphabet ONLY based on the Letterland characters, and not recognize the normal plain alphabet. Not so concerned about the electronic usage here, as it takes no more than ten minutes. Well, as you can see, Didi was very engrossed! His eyes so big right? They got even bigger as he stared at the screen! Aiyoooooo....
And hor, while I have my doubts that this is caused by bringing his naptime 30 minutes earlier, Jiale is still awake now! 1 hour 25 minutes after he goes in to bed. SIGH. I have finally been feeling well enough to bring them out these two days, but on both Sunday & Monday, my plans were fouled because Jiale woke up too late from his nap. Looks like today might also be a no-going-out day : (
But what to do, the siblings have to adjust to each other's routine lor. Sleep is still the singular most important thing to a young child in my opinion.
Thus, from today onwards, the boys shall go in for their nap at the same time, at 12nn. Jiale stops crying by the time he's on his bed (it's the getting him away from whatever he is doing that is difficult, he is ok to sleep on his own), so Didi will be still awake (alone in his bedroom) during Jiale's whining.
The good thing is, we have a longer morning together, so we are able to do more things. Since morning is our usual time for sensory/messy play, that means more play! (and also more time for me to clean up, thankfully). This morning, we had fun playing with big bubble wrap and paint. I also read many more books than usual to the boys. Jiale has always had the habit of asking me or Daddy to read to him, while Didi used to be totally not interested in books, he now follows Kor Kor and also brings books for me to read to him : ) And who says sibling rivalry is not good - the boys keep asking for more and more books in an attempt to 'out-read' each other! (They take turns to choose the book for me to read.)
And hor, while I have my doubts that this is caused by bringing his naptime 30 minutes earlier, Jiale is still awake now! 1 hour 25 minutes after he goes in to bed. SIGH. I have finally been feeling well enough to bring them out these two days, but on both Sunday & Monday, my plans were fouled because Jiale woke up too late from his nap. Looks like today might also be a no-going-out day : (
But what to do, the siblings have to adjust to each other's routine lor. Sleep is still the singular most important thing to a young child in my opinion.
Friday, July 6, 2012
3 Hours of Outdoor Play Everyday???
After less than one week, I have concluded that it is quite impossible to let the boys have three hours of outdoor play everyday.
Because of Didi's nap schedule, we can only spend 2-3 hours (including traveling time) outside in the morning before we have to head home for bath and brunch/lunch before his nap. For example, this morning we left home at 8.30am, reached the park around 9am, ended up leaving only at 11.30am because Jiale did not want to leave. So Didi only went in for his nap at 12.40pm!! Which was very late! (His scheduled naptime nowadays is 11.30am.) Even without the consideration of his nap, it gets too hot towards the later part of the morning, and the boys need to eat lunch too.
[The good thing is, Didi managed to tahan till 12.40pm without becoming grouchy - he didn't even fall asleep on the way home though he was in the comfy carrier being 'bounced' around by me. (Of course, he's always busy disturbing Kor Kor and me in the bus/taxi lor.) I guess he's a big boy now and can last till later. But at some point, he gotta nap.]
Since we only did 1-2 hours of play (excluding traveling time) in the morning, we would have to make another trip out in the afternoon. That means spending another one hour or so on traveling. (Because I really hate going to the playgrounds nearby. Sick of them.)
Other than the hassle of preparing to go out and spending time on transport, the boys also hardly spend any time at home - i.e. not much time for independent play and to play with their toys or read their books. Home time is all spent on eating, bathing, drinking milk, sleeping, getting ready to go out, or getting ready to go to bed.
So I have decided to cut down on the amount of time for outdoor play. Shall try another method instead for the coming week - one outing per day, either morning or afternoon depending on destination and my mood :p We shall just spend as long as we can there to fulfil the boys' outdoor playtime. In addition, we can also have a full-day outing once a week (or none, if no place in mind), such as to the zoo etc. In this way, the boys will have at least half a day at home everyday (except maybe weekends if we have outings with Daddy).
Problems with this method: Firstly it's almost certain that they won't get three hours, sigh. Secondly Jiale has school on Thursday and swim lesson on Friday, so we shouldn't be going out on those afternoons, which means two days gone. And I have to do grocery shopping on one of the weekdays, though we can go to the playground after that while waiting for Daddy to pick us up after work, they might not get to play for very long. So, only four days of 'proper' outdoor play! Shall try it out and see how it goes.
Because of Didi's nap schedule, we can only spend 2-3 hours (including traveling time) outside in the morning before we have to head home for bath and brunch/lunch before his nap. For example, this morning we left home at 8.30am, reached the park around 9am, ended up leaving only at 11.30am because Jiale did not want to leave. So Didi only went in for his nap at 12.40pm!! Which was very late! (His scheduled naptime nowadays is 11.30am.) Even without the consideration of his nap, it gets too hot towards the later part of the morning, and the boys need to eat lunch too.
[The good thing is, Didi managed to tahan till 12.40pm without becoming grouchy - he didn't even fall asleep on the way home though he was in the comfy carrier being 'bounced' around by me. (Of course, he's always busy disturbing Kor Kor and me in the bus/taxi lor.) I guess he's a big boy now and can last till later. But at some point, he gotta nap.]
Since we only did 1-2 hours of play (excluding traveling time) in the morning, we would have to make another trip out in the afternoon. That means spending another one hour or so on traveling. (Because I really hate going to the playgrounds nearby. Sick of them.)
Other than the hassle of preparing to go out and spending time on transport, the boys also hardly spend any time at home - i.e. not much time for independent play and to play with their toys or read their books. Home time is all spent on eating, bathing, drinking milk, sleeping, getting ready to go out, or getting ready to go to bed.
So I have decided to cut down on the amount of time for outdoor play. Shall try another method instead for the coming week - one outing per day, either morning or afternoon depending on destination and my mood :p We shall just spend as long as we can there to fulfil the boys' outdoor playtime. In addition, we can also have a full-day outing once a week (or none, if no place in mind), such as to the zoo etc. In this way, the boys will have at least half a day at home everyday (except maybe weekends if we have outings with Daddy).
Problems with this method: Firstly it's almost certain that they won't get three hours, sigh. Secondly Jiale has school on Thursday and swim lesson on Friday, so we shouldn't be going out on those afternoons, which means two days gone. And I have to do grocery shopping on one of the weekdays, though we can go to the playground after that while waiting for Daddy to pick us up after work, they might not get to play for very long. So, only four days of 'proper' outdoor play! Shall try it out and see how it goes.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Time Not Enough
How come there is not enough time to do the activities I want? I am already full-time with the boys and they are not schooling (except 3 hours a week for Jiale), we are practically glued together.. why still short of time??
Not too long, I had a routine going which sorta included most of the things which I would like to do with/for the boys - sensory/messy play, outdoor play, music & dance, independent play, homelearning activities. But Jiale's nap timing became unpredictable for a couple of weeks and, I must admit, I was sick of going to the neighbourhood playgrounds. When Jiale's naps got back on track, Jiahe started to have super long morning naps (3-4 hours!), which meant that he would either go for his afternoon nap very late, or he would skip that nap and go for early bedtime instead. Either way, it meant we would not be able to go out after Jiale's nap. So, that routine was put aside, though it was not a conscious decision.
Then, I was very slack for another few weeks. Did not bring the boys to the neighbourhood playgrounds at all, though we still had quite a few fun outdoor trips. The other afternoons, I either 'exploited' Jiale's newfound obedience and brought them shopping/on errands, or we just bummed around at home.
But now, I have a new mission. I would like to let the boys have at least 3 hours of outdoor play a day. I believe it is especially important now for Jiahe, as he started to walk more recently and I want to train his walking/running/climbing/breaking-fall abilities.
Other than making myself get off my butt, it seems to be Mission Impossible to find THREE hours in our daily routine. It is only Day 2 of the new challenge I set for myself, and I am already quite stressed, my brain always thinking about when to bring them out. Not an easy task cos they have to be fed and well-rested before we go out, and we have to come back before they get hungry or tired again.
Firstly there would be almost no time for homelearning activities. I try my best not to disrupt him when he is doing something, e.g. engrossed in his trains. The most I will do is to sit near the homelearning corner and hope that he will come over and his interest will be aroused. But often, he is too busy with his own playing to notice what I am doing :p And the less time we spend at home, the lower the chances of him being 'lured' to what I want to do with him. But this is not too bad, it is not a difficult decision to forsake our homelearning activities in exchange of outdoor play.
Secondly we have other commitments in our schedule. For example, we have to do grocery shopping tomorrow, so that limits the amount of time we have in the afternoon for playground. Then on Thursday, the neighbour's boy has 'made an appointment' with us to come over and play. That means we will be staying at home the whole afternoon. Jiale will be in school on Thursday morning, so I guess I will fail the challenge for sure on that day. Only the 4th day!
Thirdly I realise I really hate going to the neighbourhood playgrounds. I don't know why. I was in a terrible mood this morning and was very short-tempered with the boys. After I settled Jiale for his nap, I thought about it and asked myself why the boys were so naughty this morning. Only then did I realise they were not particularly naughty... it was me having a very short fuse.. I apologised to Jiale but I also have to solve this problem for the long term. Pondered on it some more and found out I did not look forward to playground time at all. I dreaded it and was hoping it would rain :p But I did not have this feeling when I was bringing them to Changi Boardwalk or MacRitchie Reservoir! Thus I concluded that I prefer more adventurous outdoor activities, and new exciting destinations. The playgrounds downstairs are really too boring for me, even though the boys might be perfectly happy there.
I plan to bring the boys around Singapore for their outdoor time from now on. Hopefully this works out better so that we can enjoy our outdoor time together!
Not too long, I had a routine going which sorta included most of the things which I would like to do with/for the boys - sensory/messy play, outdoor play, music & dance, independent play, homelearning activities. But Jiale's nap timing became unpredictable for a couple of weeks and, I must admit, I was sick of going to the neighbourhood playgrounds. When Jiale's naps got back on track, Jiahe started to have super long morning naps (3-4 hours!), which meant that he would either go for his afternoon nap very late, or he would skip that nap and go for early bedtime instead. Either way, it meant we would not be able to go out after Jiale's nap. So, that routine was put aside, though it was not a conscious decision.
Then, I was very slack for another few weeks. Did not bring the boys to the neighbourhood playgrounds at all, though we still had quite a few fun outdoor trips. The other afternoons, I either 'exploited' Jiale's newfound obedience and brought them shopping/on errands, or we just bummed around at home.
But now, I have a new mission. I would like to let the boys have at least 3 hours of outdoor play a day. I believe it is especially important now for Jiahe, as he started to walk more recently and I want to train his walking/running/climbing/breaking-fall abilities.
Other than making myself get off my butt, it seems to be Mission Impossible to find THREE hours in our daily routine. It is only Day 2 of the new challenge I set for myself, and I am already quite stressed, my brain always thinking about when to bring them out. Not an easy task cos they have to be fed and well-rested before we go out, and we have to come back before they get hungry or tired again.
Firstly there would be almost no time for homelearning activities. I try my best not to disrupt him when he is doing something, e.g. engrossed in his trains. The most I will do is to sit near the homelearning corner and hope that he will come over and his interest will be aroused. But often, he is too busy with his own playing to notice what I am doing :p And the less time we spend at home, the lower the chances of him being 'lured' to what I want to do with him. But this is not too bad, it is not a difficult decision to forsake our homelearning activities in exchange of outdoor play.
Secondly we have other commitments in our schedule. For example, we have to do grocery shopping tomorrow, so that limits the amount of time we have in the afternoon for playground. Then on Thursday, the neighbour's boy has 'made an appointment' with us to come over and play. That means we will be staying at home the whole afternoon. Jiale will be in school on Thursday morning, so I guess I will fail the challenge for sure on that day. Only the 4th day!
Thirdly I realise I really hate going to the neighbourhood playgrounds. I don't know why. I was in a terrible mood this morning and was very short-tempered with the boys. After I settled Jiale for his nap, I thought about it and asked myself why the boys were so naughty this morning. Only then did I realise they were not particularly naughty... it was me having a very short fuse.. I apologised to Jiale but I also have to solve this problem for the long term. Pondered on it some more and found out I did not look forward to playground time at all. I dreaded it and was hoping it would rain :p But I did not have this feeling when I was bringing them to Changi Boardwalk or MacRitchie Reservoir! Thus I concluded that I prefer more adventurous outdoor activities, and new exciting destinations. The playgrounds downstairs are really too boring for me, even though the boys might be perfectly happy there.
I plan to bring the boys around Singapore for their outdoor time from now on. Hopefully this works out better so that we can enjoy our outdoor time together!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Busy Children of Our Times
Today is Jiale's schoolday, so we were out of the house before 8am. Reached home around 12.30pm. Though he was only in school for less than 3 hours (because we took our own sweet time at breakfast and only reached a bit past 9am. But we were not late ok, cos the drop-off time is until 9.30am :p), he was already so tired and sleepy on the way home. Which of course resulted in a cranky and tantrumy child.
After he had some milk (gotta drink milk once he reaches home to make him happy. No mid-day milk if we did not go out in the morning) and took a bath, he was in a better mood. While I was preparing lunch, I could hear the two boys' happy laughter and 'chatting' as they were playing (trains, what else?). And it got me thinking, Jiale only has two scheduled activities a week (Playdays on Thursday and swimming lesson on Friday) and I already feel he's so busy. Even though we go out quite often, we usually spend at least half the day at home (i.e. if we are out in the morning, we stay at home in the afternoon, and vice versa.) How about so many other children who go to school daily, some even full-day in school? And quite a few others who have enrichment classes etc on top of that? Wow.
[This post is not to debate whether school or enrichment classes is good or bad. But the children must surely be very busy!]
Do you have times when you want to do nothing but stone? I do. I enjoy and look forward to those times when I can just relax in front of the TV, with nothing on my to-do list, no chores waiting for me.
Let's give our children more time to do nothing : )
After he had some milk (gotta drink milk once he reaches home to make him happy. No mid-day milk if we did not go out in the morning) and took a bath, he was in a better mood. While I was preparing lunch, I could hear the two boys' happy laughter and 'chatting' as they were playing (trains, what else?). And it got me thinking, Jiale only has two scheduled activities a week (Playdays on Thursday and swimming lesson on Friday) and I already feel he's so busy. Even though we go out quite often, we usually spend at least half the day at home (i.e. if we are out in the morning, we stay at home in the afternoon, and vice versa.) How about so many other children who go to school daily, some even full-day in school? And quite a few others who have enrichment classes etc on top of that? Wow.
[This post is not to debate whether school or enrichment classes is good or bad. But the children must surely be very busy!]
Do you have times when you want to do nothing but stone? I do. I enjoy and look forward to those times when I can just relax in front of the TV, with nothing on my to-do list, no chores waiting for me.
Let's give our children more time to do nothing : )
Thursday, May 17, 2012
He's Dropping His Nap???
Just when I thought everything was going so well... both boys sleeping well.. Jiale getting used to school.. mummy back on track with outdoor time.. lotsa messy/free play everyday.. bonding time.. mummy's self-imposed limitation on online time..
Then the bomb dropped.
Sigh. Life is so unpredictable with two young children. From his 2-3 hours daily nap, he has not been napping at all for the past three days. HOW did he just wake up one day and decide ok, today is the day that I shall not nap anymore?!
Actually, it's not so much about him not sleeping in the afternoon.. He still obediently remains in his room for a good 1-2 hours and so I still have my rest time (albeit not totally relaxed cos I never know when he will walk out for a 'visit'). I am more worried about:
Him not getting enough sleep
I believe sleep is the MOST important thing for a young child and that he needs to have a daily nap as long as he is not 3 years old yet. Better if he can have a nap until he is much older. I do realise there are some children who will drop the nap earlier, as children have different timelines. But I just feel it's so unjustified.. I have been so protective of his naptimes.. scheduling the family's activities around the boys' naptimes and ending up everybody rush here rush there especially during weekends. Sigh.
Routine all messed up
Since he is still in his room for quiet time during the afternoon, and he has to go to bed earlier in the evening, it means I have less time with him! And guess what, just a few days ago, I thought why not do an extra activity with Jiale after Didi goes to bed at 7.45pm? We have 45 minutes before his bedtime anyway! And I decided to use sticker activity books cos he likes stickers and it's quite fun and can learn things and he can't write yet. So I went through the (many) sticker books on his shelves and selected one. It has been untouched since then! Cos the very next day he stopped napping! I didn't even tell him my plan!
Urmm, actually I not only went through his shelves.. I also went through the (many) BPs and ordered (many) more sticker activity books!! FAINTZ! I thought we would finish them quite fast if we were to do this every night..
Playground time and other forms of going out have also been affected. Used to go out after their naps, usually around 4pm. If we were not meeting Daddy for dinner outside (usually one weekday a week), we would reach home around 6.30pm for dinner and baths. Now, Jiale has to be in bed by 7.30pm latest (just now he was rubbing his eyes at 6.50pm).. Means they drink their bedtime milk at 5.30pm, bathe at 6pm, dinner after that, then it's bedtime for Jiale. Where got time to go out???! Didi gets to stay up later till 7.30pm cos he is still napping well (thanks goodness!!). So strange right, the older one has an earlier bedtime : /
Don't know how to read bedtime stories to Jiale anymore. For the first two nights, I refused to read cos I was angry and upset and tired and told him 'kids who don't nap, everything also cannot, everything also don't have. Mummy won't play with you, mummy won't read to you. Nothing.' Today I have turned over a new leaf and tried hard to be a nice mummy. So, after dinner, I told him I would read books before he went to bed.
BUT. Because Didi was still awake, he wanted to join us but he was not interested in books. So he was climbing up and down the sofa... Of course Jiale decided that it was more fun playing with Didi than listening to mummy read! He told me 'no books' : (
After Jiale went to bed, I tried reading to Didi. Put him on my lap.. but he just snatched the book away and tried to escape! Like that how I read..??!!
We might have our plans, but the children have their own plans : /
Then the bomb dropped.
Sigh. Life is so unpredictable with two young children. From his 2-3 hours daily nap, he has not been napping at all for the past three days. HOW did he just wake up one day and decide ok, today is the day that I shall not nap anymore?!
Actually, it's not so much about him not sleeping in the afternoon.. He still obediently remains in his room for a good 1-2 hours and so I still have my rest time (albeit not totally relaxed cos I never know when he will walk out for a 'visit'). I am more worried about:
Him not getting enough sleep
I believe sleep is the MOST important thing for a young child and that he needs to have a daily nap as long as he is not 3 years old yet. Better if he can have a nap until he is much older. I do realise there are some children who will drop the nap earlier, as children have different timelines. But I just feel it's so unjustified.. I have been so protective of his naptimes.. scheduling the family's activities around the boys' naptimes and ending up everybody rush here rush there especially during weekends. Sigh.
Routine all messed up
Since he is still in his room for quiet time during the afternoon, and he has to go to bed earlier in the evening, it means I have less time with him! And guess what, just a few days ago, I thought why not do an extra activity with Jiale after Didi goes to bed at 7.45pm? We have 45 minutes before his bedtime anyway! And I decided to use sticker activity books cos he likes stickers and it's quite fun and can learn things and he can't write yet. So I went through the (many) sticker books on his shelves and selected one. It has been untouched since then! Cos the very next day he stopped napping! I didn't even tell him my plan!
Urmm, actually I not only went through his shelves.. I also went through the (many) BPs and ordered (many) more sticker activity books!! FAINTZ! I thought we would finish them quite fast if we were to do this every night..
Playground time and other forms of going out have also been affected. Used to go out after their naps, usually around 4pm. If we were not meeting Daddy for dinner outside (usually one weekday a week), we would reach home around 6.30pm for dinner and baths. Now, Jiale has to be in bed by 7.30pm latest (just now he was rubbing his eyes at 6.50pm).. Means they drink their bedtime milk at 5.30pm, bathe at 6pm, dinner after that, then it's bedtime for Jiale. Where got time to go out???! Didi gets to stay up later till 7.30pm cos he is still napping well (thanks goodness!!). So strange right, the older one has an earlier bedtime : /
Don't know how to read bedtime stories to Jiale anymore. For the first two nights, I refused to read cos I was angry and upset and tired and told him 'kids who don't nap, everything also cannot, everything also don't have. Mummy won't play with you, mummy won't read to you. Nothing.' Today I have turned over a new leaf and tried hard to be a nice mummy. So, after dinner, I told him I would read books before he went to bed.
BUT. Because Didi was still awake, he wanted to join us but he was not interested in books. So he was climbing up and down the sofa... Of course Jiale decided that it was more fun playing with Didi than listening to mummy read! He told me 'no books' : (
After Jiale went to bed, I tried reading to Didi. Put him on my lap.. but he just snatched the book away and tried to escape! Like that how I read..??!!
We might have our plans, but the children have their own plans : /
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Sleep, Baby, Sleep
This post is dedicated to my bro SY : )
I try not to give unsolicited advice about parenting, but this is my blog and anyone can choose to read or not read, right? Anyway I am not saying everybody must do the same thing, just sharing what I read/went through and what has worked for me & my two sons.
What I believe about babies and sleep:
1) Babies need an early bedtime, around 7pm. And this should ideally start from day one. One might think, newborns sleep almost the whole day, how would they know when it is the bedtime? Hmm, I would like to tell you 'trust me, they know' but then, I only have two case studies, lol. So I can only say, I think they know. Jiahe couldn't last beyond 6.50pm until he was at least 6 months old.
How to set a bedtime? Do a simple bedtime routine. For Jiale, everything was trial and error and I definitely messed up before I did sleep training for him around 7 months old. For Jiahe, I was much more prepared - his routine was very simple - just do a wipedown and change diapers, then feed him (breastfeed in my case), then put him down in the cot. When he was very young, he usually fell asleep while feeding and continued to sleep when I put him down. Now his routine is still very simple - before he goes in for naps/bedtime, I give him a drink of water. So simple, right? Haha. (Yes I do give him water at other times of the day!)
2) Newborns should not be awake for more than two hours each time. Yes they definitely are able to stay up longer than that, especially as they grow bigger.. But they will probably end up overtired and fussy and have more difficulties falling asleep. What I did for Jiahe was, I gave him maximum of two hours between naps. The key word is 'maximum'. Anytime he showed signs of sleepiness, like rubbing his eyes, or being unreasonably cranky (crying even though he had been fed and cleaned and was not too warm/cold etc etc), it was time for a nap.
3) Ignore the baby when you feed him at night, i.e. just feed, no need to talk to him, no need to look at him. Close your eyes and feed. Just switch on a night light.
4) Babies start to need to have a proper nap routine and to nap in a proper place (e.g. their cot) when they are four months old. The good news is, you can bring your baby around in a sarong carrier or baby sling carrier etc before 4 months old - he will fall asleep anytime anywhere when he is tired. But from 4 months onwards, it's best to let him nap in a stationary place (movement affects the quality of sleep as he is more alert to his surroundings now).
Related to the abovementioned points are:
how to make the baby sleep?
breastfeeding/bottle?
feed on demand/ feed on schedule?
I think these are personal choices and there are pros & cons. So I shall just write about my own experiences.
I breastfed both boys till 10 months old and I fed on demand. I found that even though I fed on demand when they were younger, they naturally fell into a routine when they got older (5-6 months old) and I only had to feed them 2-3 hours apart. But the good thing about breastfeeding is, other than filling the tummy, it is also soothing for the baby. So, whenever I couldn't figure out why they were crying, I just breastfed and they calmed down : ) I always thought that hey, I had a brandnew baby after each breastfeeding! Haha. Some people might worry that the baby might develop bad habit of needing to breastfeed to sleep, etc. But I prefer to solve each problem as it comes. When the baby was still so small, the crying would really drive me nuts.
About sleep training: I used cry-it-out for both boys, Jiale at 7 months old and Jiahe at 5 months old. Basically, it means to put the baby in his cot when he is still awake and leave him to cry till he falls asleep. I shall blog more about this when this particular Koh baby gets older : ) How come I can tahan the crying for so long (Jiale took 50 minutes, Jiahe took 30 minutes) now? Because the baby is older and more hardy! Letting a 7-month-old cry is very different from letting a 2-month-old cry.
For my two boys, they fell asleep while breastfeeding, so it was not a problem getting them to sleep when they were small babies. Thus, it was relatively easy to set an early bedtime and to have frequent naps (less than 2 hours interval). (It was when they got older and became more alert and more aware of their surroundings that they would still be wide awake after I fed them, and I had to make them sleep.) Anyway, early bedtime or not, the baby gotta go down for the night sooner or later, and why not sooner? Sleep begets more sleep - the more babies sleep, the more they will sleep! Means more time for their brains to grow, and more time for the parents to rest!
I try not to give unsolicited advice about parenting, but this is my blog and anyone can choose to read or not read, right? Anyway I am not saying everybody must do the same thing, just sharing what I read/went through and what has worked for me & my two sons.
What I believe about babies and sleep:
1) Babies need an early bedtime, around 7pm. And this should ideally start from day one. One might think, newborns sleep almost the whole day, how would they know when it is the bedtime? Hmm, I would like to tell you 'trust me, they know' but then, I only have two case studies, lol. So I can only say, I think they know. Jiahe couldn't last beyond 6.50pm until he was at least 6 months old.
How to set a bedtime? Do a simple bedtime routine. For Jiale, everything was trial and error and I definitely messed up before I did sleep training for him around 7 months old. For Jiahe, I was much more prepared - his routine was very simple - just do a wipedown and change diapers, then feed him (breastfeed in my case), then put him down in the cot. When he was very young, he usually fell asleep while feeding and continued to sleep when I put him down. Now his routine is still very simple - before he goes in for naps/bedtime, I give him a drink of water. So simple, right? Haha. (Yes I do give him water at other times of the day!)
2) Newborns should not be awake for more than two hours each time. Yes they definitely are able to stay up longer than that, especially as they grow bigger.. But they will probably end up overtired and fussy and have more difficulties falling asleep. What I did for Jiahe was, I gave him maximum of two hours between naps. The key word is 'maximum'. Anytime he showed signs of sleepiness, like rubbing his eyes, or being unreasonably cranky (crying even though he had been fed and cleaned and was not too warm/cold etc etc), it was time for a nap.
3) Ignore the baby when you feed him at night, i.e. just feed, no need to talk to him, no need to look at him. Close your eyes and feed. Just switch on a night light.
4) Babies start to need to have a proper nap routine and to nap in a proper place (e.g. their cot) when they are four months old. The good news is, you can bring your baby around in a sarong carrier or baby sling carrier etc before 4 months old - he will fall asleep anytime anywhere when he is tired. But from 4 months onwards, it's best to let him nap in a stationary place (movement affects the quality of sleep as he is more alert to his surroundings now).
Related to the abovementioned points are:
how to make the baby sleep?
breastfeeding/bottle?
feed on demand/ feed on schedule?
I think these are personal choices and there are pros & cons. So I shall just write about my own experiences.
I breastfed both boys till 10 months old and I fed on demand. I found that even though I fed on demand when they were younger, they naturally fell into a routine when they got older (5-6 months old) and I only had to feed them 2-3 hours apart. But the good thing about breastfeeding is, other than filling the tummy, it is also soothing for the baby. So, whenever I couldn't figure out why they were crying, I just breastfed and they calmed down : ) I always thought that hey, I had a brandnew baby after each breastfeeding! Haha. Some people might worry that the baby might develop bad habit of needing to breastfeed to sleep, etc. But I prefer to solve each problem as it comes. When the baby was still so small, the crying would really drive me nuts.
About sleep training: I used cry-it-out for both boys, Jiale at 7 months old and Jiahe at 5 months old. Basically, it means to put the baby in his cot when he is still awake and leave him to cry till he falls asleep. I shall blog more about this when this particular Koh baby gets older : ) How come I can tahan the crying for so long (Jiale took 50 minutes, Jiahe took 30 minutes) now? Because the baby is older and more hardy! Letting a 7-month-old cry is very different from letting a 2-month-old cry.
For my two boys, they fell asleep while breastfeeding, so it was not a problem getting them to sleep when they were small babies. Thus, it was relatively easy to set an early bedtime and to have frequent naps (less than 2 hours interval). (It was when they got older and became more alert and more aware of their surroundings that they would still be wide awake after I fed them, and I had to make them sleep.) Anyway, early bedtime or not, the baby gotta go down for the night sooner or later, and why not sooner? Sleep begets more sleep - the more babies sleep, the more they will sleep! Means more time for their brains to grow, and more time for the parents to rest!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Improvised Routine
Added a couple of new things to our routine today. I have decided that all messy stuff will be done before Didi's morning nap. Best if he can join us. If not, he shall just play on his own around the house. This way, I will have free time to do learning activities with Jiale during Didi's nap. Right now, I leave it to Jiale whether he wants to join me to do puzzles etc. Sometimes, like this morning, he prefers to play on his own, e.g. with his trains. Then I will just read a book in his room - wait for him and model good habit of reading! : )
(But I'm not sure whether I should call him in or 'lure' him to do the learning activities instead? My main concern is he might need/want more free/independent play. Hmm. In fact, speaking of free/independent play, some authors say that the parent should be 'fully present' while the child is at play. The child leads the play, while the parent sits next to him and sometimes say things like 'you are putting a blue block on the red block' (to teach colors) or 'that is a good effort' (to provide encouragement). However my current stand is, independent play means he should be playing all by himself :P If he encounters any problems, he should come and look for me to ask for help. I don't want him to get used to me sitting next to him while he plays! If he whines, he can continue whining on his own and I shall NOT go to him! Gotta think on this more.)
While we used to do either free play or learning activities after Didi's nap, I started physical play and music play today. Can't do this during Didi's nap cos it's too noisy! And Didi can also join us : )
For physical play, I was inspired by the book The Art of Roughhousing. What we did today - I have a set of hopscotch mats from ELC and we played hopscotch. So fun and can help me lose weight too, LOL. Didi participated by blocking our way, LOL. Anyway it got Jiale all excited and sweaty : ) After that I did the Rogue Elephant with both boys, more fun, more sweat, more laughter!
Then we moved on to music play. Played a CD and we just danced and shook some toy musical instruments. Jiale was running around in circles with the instruments! I am so glad I have added in the physical play and music play elements. They are definitely fun and most probably good for the boys. Used to do them too, but it was once in a blue moon.. Gonna stick to the new routine, hope it's not too late for Jiale!
And if the boys are otherwised engaged, I shall just hang around and sing along to a CD. They can ignore me, it's ok :P As it is, they don't get much time to play together.. (because Didi has 2 naps a day!!) so if they wanna play with each other, good!
It feels great to have a routine in place, cos when I have new things to add/change, I can just look at our usual routine and plan how to slot in the new things. It also helps me to get things done.. otherwise the days just seemed to pass us by.. then I looked back and realised I had done nothing!
(But I'm not sure whether I should call him in or 'lure' him to do the learning activities instead? My main concern is he might need/want more free/independent play. Hmm. In fact, speaking of free/independent play, some authors say that the parent should be 'fully present' while the child is at play. The child leads the play, while the parent sits next to him and sometimes say things like 'you are putting a blue block on the red block' (to teach colors) or 'that is a good effort' (to provide encouragement). However my current stand is, independent play means he should be playing all by himself :P If he encounters any problems, he should come and look for me to ask for help. I don't want him to get used to me sitting next to him while he plays! If he whines, he can continue whining on his own and I shall NOT go to him! Gotta think on this more.)
While we used to do either free play or learning activities after Didi's nap, I started physical play and music play today. Can't do this during Didi's nap cos it's too noisy! And Didi can also join us : )
For physical play, I was inspired by the book The Art of Roughhousing. What we did today - I have a set of hopscotch mats from ELC and we played hopscotch. So fun and can help me lose weight too, LOL. Didi participated by blocking our way, LOL. Anyway it got Jiale all excited and sweaty : ) After that I did the Rogue Elephant with both boys, more fun, more sweat, more laughter!
Then we moved on to music play. Played a CD and we just danced and shook some toy musical instruments. Jiale was running around in circles with the instruments! I am so glad I have added in the physical play and music play elements. They are definitely fun and most probably good for the boys. Used to do them too, but it was once in a blue moon.. Gonna stick to the new routine, hope it's not too late for Jiale!
And if the boys are otherwised engaged, I shall just hang around and sing along to a CD. They can ignore me, it's ok :P As it is, they don't get much time to play together.. (because Didi has 2 naps a day!!) so if they wanna play with each other, good!
It feels great to have a routine in place, cos when I have new things to add/change, I can just look at our usual routine and plan how to slot in the new things. It also helps me to get things done.. otherwise the days just seemed to pass us by.. then I looked back and realised I had done nothing!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Daily Routine
I love my new routine! : )
Jiale usually wakes up at 6am+. But I still wanna sleep, so I let him play with my iPhone till 7am before I drag myself out of bed. (I know it's not good for young kids to play with phone.. but there are some really good apps ya? At least it's 'controlled' cos I definitely want my phone back when I wake up :P And surprisingly, heusually returns the phone willingly and doesn't ask for the phone for the rest of the day. The only thing I am worried about is his eyes : /) Then I will do some bits & pieces around the house and give Jiale some breakfast if he wants to eat (usually not, cos he drinks milk when he wakes up), and I eat my breakfast. Didi usually wakes up a bit past 7am nowadays, he used to be able to sleep till 8.30am while I was still breastfeeding him, cos when he woke up at 5am+, I just breastfed him and he continued to sleep. Now that he's sleeping through the night, I also can't expect/hope that he will sleep till 8.30am la!
After Didi drinks (or more likely, refuses to drink) his morning milk, it will be free play or homelearning activities, OR messy/art/paint (often 3-in-1) play, depending on whether Didi can join in. Like this morning, Didi could join in to play with watercolors, so we started at 8am. Didi has to be down for his morning nap around 10am, so we have to stop by 9.15am latest for the boys' bath and breakfast. But Jiale finished up the watercolors around 9am, so we came in for bathtime. Since we were early, the boys were able to play for a longer time. Water play is definitely Didi's current favorite! 9.30am, I dragged Didi out, dressed him, gave him a drink of water, and put him down in his cot.
Having achieved so much in the morning, and since Jiale had started happily playing with his Playdoh, I gave myself a 30-min break - checked fb, drank some milo, took my morning shower, washed up the breakfast dishes, simple lunch prep.
10am, joined Jiale in his room, all ready to engage him in learning activities! But I don't have lesson plans or such things for him.. me lazy and I know he isn't likely to cooperate.. So my goal was just to play with the educational stuff (a lot!) in his room, depending on which ones he preferred. We played with Playdoh for a while more, then moved on to Mazes activity book, Go Einstein Go (a logic game), Chinese dominos, a fishing game, a board game (to learn turns-taking & moving by throwing dice, and counting the dots on the dice), a spatial learning game (the free gift that comes with Enfagrow, dunno how to describe it), a sticker game book, a buttoning activity.. I think that's about it.. before Didi woke up.
If Didi can't join in the activitiy (no shaving foam for Didi yet!!), we will do the activity during Didi's morning nap. This pretty much means not much learning stuff in the morning, cos the only alone time I have with Jiale is spent creating & undoing a mess :P
Time for Didi's milk feed again. If Jiale is not doing anything much or in his room, I will go to his room with Didi and try to do more learning stuff with Jiale while Didi plays on his own. But for today, Jiale was already engrossed with his trains at the balcony (trains area) when Didi was done with his milk. So we joined him there. The brothers promptly proceeded to forget about mummy and just played with each other and the trains : ) So I just hung around and sang along with the CD and watched them play.
(Oh ya, for the morning learning time, if Jiale is engaged in something else, eg trains, I won't disrupt him. Will let him continue doing whatever he is doing.)
1pm, time for Brillkids. I let them watch one lesson each of Chinese, English & Math a day, total less than 20 minutes. By 1.30pm, they eat lunch. After that, Jiale goes for nap. Didi might nap at the same time as Jiale or slightly later, depending on how long he naps in the morning. He had a 2.5 hour nap this morning, so I let him stay up till 2.30pm.
Once Jiale goes in for his nap, it's FREE time for me! Even if Didi is awake, he is perfectly happy playing on his own.. probably because Jiale isn't around to snatch toys, haha! So while Didi explores around the house, I eat my lunch. I have at least one hour to myself while both the boys are napping. During my break, I either read parenting books or read blogs, and of course, fb! It's also because I have this free time that I am able to blog. (Only one computer at home and hubby uses it when he comes back from work.) Used to prepare the afternoon play activity during this time too, but nowadays I bring the boys out to playground around 4pm, no time for anything else, so it also saves me some prep time.
Home around 6.30pm, bathe the boys, prepare a quick dinner for them, they eat, then drink milk. After milk, Didi goes to bed, around 7.30pm. Then it's bedtime stories for Jiale, and he's off to bed at 8pm. End of the workday for me!
Hubby comes back from work with takeaway dinner, we eat together, watch TV. I read parenting books and prepare for the next morning's play activity. Still fb-ing, on my phone, lol.
I'm so much happier now that I have a routine that works. For quite time, I have been coping quite well with the mundane stuff like getting the boys fed and bathed etc. But I felt something was lacking.. sometimes whole days went by without having really 'done' anything.. Did they learn anything? What did I achieve? What did I do with them having spent the whole day together? So I thought about it and set out priorities - messy play? homelearning? dvds? computer? outdoor play? I realised that if I did not plan, and just 'see how', usually nothing got done. It would of course be perfect if I could incorporate everything everyday.. But it's just not possible.. If I wanna spend more time at home doing learning stuff, I would not be able to let them go outdoors for two hours.. If I give up the messy play in favor of learning stuff... I don't want. So I accept that I CANNOT do everything. Umm, so learning stuff has been kicked to the lowest priority - small pockets of time in the day, as and when I'm free and he's interested, or when it rains in the afternoon and we can't go to the playground.. provided he doesn't get caught up with his trains again!
Jiale usually wakes up at 6am+. But I still wanna sleep, so I let him play with my iPhone till 7am before I drag myself out of bed. (I know it's not good for young kids to play with phone.. but there are some really good apps ya? At least it's 'controlled' cos I definitely want my phone back when I wake up :P And surprisingly, heusually returns the phone willingly and doesn't ask for the phone for the rest of the day. The only thing I am worried about is his eyes : /) Then I will do some bits & pieces around the house and give Jiale some breakfast if he wants to eat (usually not, cos he drinks milk when he wakes up), and I eat my breakfast. Didi usually wakes up a bit past 7am nowadays, he used to be able to sleep till 8.30am while I was still breastfeeding him, cos when he woke up at 5am+, I just breastfed him and he continued to sleep. Now that he's sleeping through the night, I also can't expect/hope that he will sleep till 8.30am la!
After Didi drinks (or more likely, refuses to drink) his morning milk, it will be free play or homelearning activities, OR messy/art/paint (often 3-in-1) play, depending on whether Didi can join in. Like this morning, Didi could join in to play with watercolors, so we started at 8am. Didi has to be down for his morning nap around 10am, so we have to stop by 9.15am latest for the boys' bath and breakfast. But Jiale finished up the watercolors around 9am, so we came in for bathtime. Since we were early, the boys were able to play for a longer time. Water play is definitely Didi's current favorite! 9.30am, I dragged Didi out, dressed him, gave him a drink of water, and put him down in his cot.
Having achieved so much in the morning, and since Jiale had started happily playing with his Playdoh, I gave myself a 30-min break - checked fb, drank some milo, took my morning shower, washed up the breakfast dishes, simple lunch prep.
10am, joined Jiale in his room, all ready to engage him in learning activities! But I don't have lesson plans or such things for him.. me lazy and I know he isn't likely to cooperate.. So my goal was just to play with the educational stuff (a lot!) in his room, depending on which ones he preferred. We played with Playdoh for a while more, then moved on to Mazes activity book, Go Einstein Go (a logic game), Chinese dominos, a fishing game, a board game (to learn turns-taking & moving by throwing dice, and counting the dots on the dice), a spatial learning game (the free gift that comes with Enfagrow, dunno how to describe it), a sticker game book, a buttoning activity.. I think that's about it.. before Didi woke up.
If Didi can't join in the activitiy (no shaving foam for Didi yet!!), we will do the activity during Didi's morning nap. This pretty much means not much learning stuff in the morning, cos the only alone time I have with Jiale is spent creating & undoing a mess :P
Time for Didi's milk feed again. If Jiale is not doing anything much or in his room, I will go to his room with Didi and try to do more learning stuff with Jiale while Didi plays on his own. But for today, Jiale was already engrossed with his trains at the balcony (trains area) when Didi was done with his milk. So we joined him there. The brothers promptly proceeded to forget about mummy and just played with each other and the trains : ) So I just hung around and sang along with the CD and watched them play.
(Oh ya, for the morning learning time, if Jiale is engaged in something else, eg trains, I won't disrupt him. Will let him continue doing whatever he is doing.)
1pm, time for Brillkids. I let them watch one lesson each of Chinese, English & Math a day, total less than 20 minutes. By 1.30pm, they eat lunch. After that, Jiale goes for nap. Didi might nap at the same time as Jiale or slightly later, depending on how long he naps in the morning. He had a 2.5 hour nap this morning, so I let him stay up till 2.30pm.
Once Jiale goes in for his nap, it's FREE time for me! Even if Didi is awake, he is perfectly happy playing on his own.. probably because Jiale isn't around to snatch toys, haha! So while Didi explores around the house, I eat my lunch. I have at least one hour to myself while both the boys are napping. During my break, I either read parenting books or read blogs, and of course, fb! It's also because I have this free time that I am able to blog. (Only one computer at home and hubby uses it when he comes back from work.) Used to prepare the afternoon play activity during this time too, but nowadays I bring the boys out to playground around 4pm, no time for anything else, so it also saves me some prep time.
Home around 6.30pm, bathe the boys, prepare a quick dinner for them, they eat, then drink milk. After milk, Didi goes to bed, around 7.30pm. Then it's bedtime stories for Jiale, and he's off to bed at 8pm. End of the workday for me!
Hubby comes back from work with takeaway dinner, we eat together, watch TV. I read parenting books and prepare for the next morning's play activity. Still fb-ing, on my phone, lol.
I'm so much happier now that I have a routine that works. For quite time, I have been coping quite well with the mundane stuff like getting the boys fed and bathed etc. But I felt something was lacking.. sometimes whole days went by without having really 'done' anything.. Did they learn anything? What did I achieve? What did I do with them having spent the whole day together? So I thought about it and set out priorities - messy play? homelearning? dvds? computer? outdoor play? I realised that if I did not plan, and just 'see how', usually nothing got done. It would of course be perfect if I could incorporate everything everyday.. But it's just not possible.. If I wanna spend more time at home doing learning stuff, I would not be able to let them go outdoors for two hours.. If I give up the messy play in favor of learning stuff... I don't want. So I accept that I CANNOT do everything. Umm, so learning stuff has been kicked to the lowest priority - small pockets of time in the day, as and when I'm free and he's interested, or when it rains in the afternoon and we can't go to the playground.. provided he doesn't get caught up with his trains again!
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